When I first emerged from the Pink Fog over a year ago, I cannot begin to tell you the various emotions that I went through. I am sure you can all relate to a few, some, most of them as well. How many of these ring true with you?
Anger – “I can’t believe I let them do this to me! I’m smarter than that! I should have known! How dare they take advantage of me?”
Embarrassment – “I can’t believe I let them do this to me. I’m smarter than that. I should have known. How could I let them take advantage of me?”
Self Blame – “It’s my fault I failed. I didn’t work hard enough. I didn’t go to every meeting and training. I didn’t hold enough classes. I didn’t warm chatter enough. I should have brought more guests to meetings.”
Worthlessness – “I just didn’t have what it takes. I’m just not good at make-up. I am terrible at sales. I can’t talk in front of people. I’m not pretty or successful like all of them. I am such a loser.”
Betrayal – “I love my Sales Director. I love my recruiter. They’ve been so good to me. How can I turn my back on them? I promised I’d always be a part of the team.”
Ostracism – “They are going to make my life hell. Everyone is going to talk about me. None of the other consultants will ever talk to me again. I feel like the plague.”
Denial – “Really…is it THAT bad? I mean, the company IS the #1 brand in the United State. Sales Directors do make a ton of money. I’ve read the Applause. I just need to give it more time and I’ll be in the Big Girls Club.”
Isolation – “I know that no one feels like I do. No one else has lost this much money. No one else feels like that have been taken for granted. Nobody else on this earth would ever think that this great company could be a scam!”
Loneliness – “My friends won’t talk to me anymore because they only think I want to nag them to hold a party. My husband has become so distant because of the debt I’ve incurred and the lack of time I’ve spent with him and the kids. My family avoids my phone calls because they just figure I’m looking for another recruit.”
Guilt – “How could I do this? How could I let this happen? What am I going to do? I’ve ruined everything. My marriage is on thin ice. My credit is shot. And it’s all my fault.”
So you’ve gone through some or all of these. You think you’re done? Hmmm, not just yet. You’ve dealt with many, but you still have one more emotion to go through. And that emotion can make or break you. What’s that? Bitterness.
Bitterness is what happens when you realize you’ve “been there and done that”. But instead of wanting to spend another day being mad at yourself, you decide you are going to be pissed off at everyone else. You are going to have the biggest chip on your shoulder and dammit…you deserve to!
Bitterness – “Life just crapped all over me. I hate everyone. I hate this company, I hate people, and I refuse to trust another living human being ever. And don’t you dare deny me this because I’ve got every right to say “(insert derogatory two-word phrase here)” to the world for as long as I freaking want!”
Oh we all know too well what that was called in Mary Kay: “The Pity Party”. Want some cheese with that whine? Remember where that got you at a Monday night meeting? A slap on the hand. A rubber band snapped on your wrist. Holding the rubber chicken. Carrying the stuffed skunk. Wasn’t that the ultimate in lowering your self esteem and embarrassing you in front of your peers? Didn’t you mumble to yourself, “When I become a Director, I refuse to do that to my unit members.” You know you did.
So I ask you, why would you do that yourself? Now that you have busted out of the Pink Bubble and come out of the Pink Fog, don’t let your bitterness engulf you like the pathetic business itself did. Turn your “bitter” into “better”.
By all means, continue to come to Pink Truth and surround yourself with people who share in your emotions and experiences. That’s called therapy. That’s healing. Talk about what you’ve been through. Vent your frustrations when you have to. It’s okay to be bitter for a while, but don’t let it consume you. Turn it around. Fast.
Then take that time of bitterness that you experienced and turn it into better… by sharing your stories, making someone laugh, letting someone else know that it’s okay to go through all those things you went through not that long ago. And maybe, just maybe, that someone you’ve touched will realize they are not alone, they have support, and they will be okay. And you will have changed that person’s life for the better. You.
A domestic violence counselor once told me in regards to my ex-husband: “You gave that man five years of your life and what did he give you? Complete hell. So why allow yourself to be bitter towards him for even one minute? That’s one minute of your new life you’re allowing him to have… and he doesn’t deserve it.” Even though I’ll have days when I’m annoyed and frustrated with MK Inc and the business trap I fell into, I refuse… refuse… to give them the satisfaction of being bitter any longer. They got 9 years of my life, on their terms. They will not get one minute more