The Perspective of a Director With 900 in Her Downline
Written by a Future NSD
I wanted to give everyone at Pink Truth the perspective of a “higher up” director. I at one time had over 1,000 in my downline, and 9 offspring directors.
I have been lurking on this site for a while, and feel it is time to make a post. I am still an active director. I have been high up on the “food chain” for a while, but have never felt good about my position. I am open to all perspectives in life.
Tracy, I think you have brought up many issues that needed to be addressed, and you are being attacked because people are being threatened. You are an intelligent woman bringing a different perspective to MLM, and I love your quest for truth.
I am one of those people who have honestly made over $100,000 in a year, and I could show you my 1099s to prove it. However, I have been torn as a director, because I have watched my own directors struggle, and have watched my consultants go into debt. I never once ever asked my team to order for me. I have always said don’t order unless you need products, and don’t order limited edition items. I let them know in advance when things were changing, and truly cared about my team.
However, I cheated myself. I have signed up friends and family to get them qualified to meet requirements, and I never felt right about any of it. Everyone has done things that are less than honest to move up – even the ones who seem to be so successful and so squeeky clean.
When I brought this up with my upline, I was given the “everyone does this” or “make it happen” routine. I sold my soul, and looking back, my spiritual life suffered greatly. I needed the money to provide for my family, I was good at what I did.
Because I was good at it, it made it harder to see clearly. I wanted desperately to stay home with my kids, and this was my drive to succeed – being able to attend their field trips and be home for them when they were sick. I didn’t care about the cars, the fancy outfits, or the jewelry. I just wanted to be a Mom.
Yes, I am one of those “evil” directors lurking at every corner trying to get you to order… but not really. I was a director who was running 90 miles an hour just to keep the balls in the air. Please know, no one was honest with me, and when I tried to get my questions answered… I was considered negative.
I was so confused through this process, and was working so hard, I never had time to think. I was raising a busy family, taking care of over 900 consultants, doing parties, my own marketing, my own bookwork and taxes, keeping women happy (which by the way is impossible), and trying to keep corporate and my upline happy, and traveling the world with my MLM smile on… recruiting and selling. I never had time to think it through as I was exhausted. Everyone was patting me on the back and telling me how amazing I was, and it was hard to slow down to see clearly.
Directors are human. Directors only have 24 hours a day. Directors are told what to do and they do it hoping to reach the dream, and at the end of the day, they put their head to the pillow, and they never did enough. Directors have women mad at them all of the time because they never did it all “right.” Didn’t decorate correctly for the unit meeting, didn’t say the right thing to the new consultant, didn’t dress accordingly, didn’t properly deal with unit personality problems, didn’t stay in touch with me when I quit.
You suddenly realize there is not enough time in the day to stay connected with your working team, do your own classes, coach your hostesses, present the marketing plan, love your family and the people who quit as well… it would be impossible. There is only one of you to go around.
I can’t tell you how many times people have been mad at me because I am not a “true” friend, and didn’t stay in touch after they quit. Let me tell you, I am still friends with many women who have left Mary Kay, and I respected their decision because I truly cared. However, it’s just impossible to stay in touch with hundreds who come in and out yearly. Impossible.
When people quit other jobs, I wonder if they expect the boss to stay in touch with them and be buddies? I guess I see it as a business, and “schmoozing” is part of sales. Am I wrong? Just a thought. So, if you are a consultant who has been “dumped” and you are mad at your director? If you were in my unit, I apologize from my heart. I just couldn’t keep up.
My director journey will be ending soon, and I will be going back into the corporate world. I have learned so much, and I am sorry if I learned it at your expense. It was never my intention. I just didn’t understand the web I was getting into when I started, and the “executive income for part time hours” seemed so wonderful. I wanted to believe it was true. In the end, I didn’t lose money, but lost other valuable things along the way.
Thanks Pink Truth for being my therapy. You have saved me thousands of dollars not having to go to therapy, and I appreciate all of the women on this site. The truth will always set you free and I am truly free today.
To all of the directors out there… Take time away from the MLM literature, self help books, and phone calls and e-mails, and take some time for quiet talks with God. You will find your truth when it is your time.
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Tags: downline, future nsd, national sales director, qualified recruit, upline
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Comments (20)
Scrib
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Phenomenal article. I would love to see how many folks challenge this one with the classic blanket claim of “Pfft, she obviously didn’t work her business hard enough.” As if. This gal was chugging harder than the 2:10 to Walla Walla and I’m glad she’s breaking free of her pink chains.
“When people quit other jobs, I wonder if they expect the boss to stay in touch with them and be buddies? I guess I see it as a business, and “schmoozing” is part of sales. Am I wrong?”
I wouldn’t expect this of any boss. I do, however, take issue with the fact that many MK leaders can’t just wish someone well if they choose to leave MK. There’s always a desperate grasping to get these consultants to stay/not return product, followed by a barrage of phone calls and e-mails, and ultimately shunning and/or bad-mouthing. We don’t want to hitch our wagons to THAT quitting star now, do we?
“No one was honest with me, and when I tried to get my questions answered…I was considered negative.”
This sickens me most of all. There’s ample praise in MK, but drop one question that isn’t, “Don’t you just loooove Joel Olsteen?” and you’re sent to the leper camp.
Anything to protect the lie, I suppose.
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betsy gleffe
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I think its perfectyly fine to leave. It isn’t for everyone.
I don’t think I ever thought it was. I am in Mary Kay and there are ups and downs. The real issue
here is move on. If anyone thinks bad of you and you feel and know in your heart it was the right decision, its their problem not yours. It is sales. I have purchased too much product before, but I am a big girl and figured it out. And obviously your team ordering is how you get your commission. How do you feel about the fact that a big coporation CEO makes an obscene amount of money and many times rapes the company to do it. I do feel if you teach your recruits to sell and show them how to sell by doing it yourself, they will make money. The problem I have with this site is no one has one good thing to say about Mary Kay. Is there nothing good about it. I have found both good and bad. Most men in business dont take the same reasoning a female does. We have to feel good all the time. Your not going to always feel good about your 9 to 5 job all the time. But you will take the good with the bad. In all reality you made the decision to leave and its ok. It didn’t work for you. And its ok to say it and not make it someones fault. It just didn’t work
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TRACY
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Mary Kay is for almost no one. When over 99% lose money in the scam, we can’t recommend it.
I love that you “feel” that teaching recruits to sell will make them money. It has nothing to do with feelings. Hard facts show that even trying to sell the products has minimal results for most since they’re overpriced, of mediocre quality, and there are too many consultants trying to sell the crap.
About your allegation that CEOs “rape” big companies. Name five CEOs who have done that in the last five years, and the companies they did it to. Please back up your claim with links to the proof that they did so.
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Scrib
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“I think its perfectly fine to leave. It isn’t for everyone.”
Uh, there are others in Mary Kay who would call you a dirty liar, Betsy. Check out these quotes:
“Anybody can do Mary Kay – all you have to do is be excited and have fun!”
~NSD Natalie Privette-Jones
“Mary Kay is not a difficult job. If you can read from a book, squirt from a tube, smile and nod and say “How does your face feel?” then maybe you might consider something like this…”
~NSD Rena Tarbet’s “New Consultant Companion”
“I had no selling background and wasn’t sure I would be the selling type. It didn’t matter because the products are so great that they sell themselves.”
~NSD Patricia Rodriguez
“This business truly is for everyone!”
~IBC Michele McConnell in the article, “A Class Act,” from the November 2010 issue of Applause.
So who is correct?
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Lazy Gardens
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I never had time to think it through as I was exhausted. Everyone was patting me on the back and telling me how amazing I was, and it was hard to slow down to see clearly.
That’s a classic control tactic for MLMs and cults.
Keep ‘em busy! Because if they slow down and have time to think, they’ll realize it’s not working.
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Freshoutofpink
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I agree, this article is phenomenal!
Thank you for sharing your story and shedding light on what it’s like to be high in rank in MK.
Many lowly Sales Directors, like myself, believed that if we could just make it to 50 or 100 unit members, our life would be a breeze but what you’ve said proves there is NO resting place in Mary Kay ever.
I once heard Linda Toupin say, “the higher you go in Mary Kay, the harder it is and the less friends you’ll have”. I remember thinking surely that isn’t true, but when you think about the volume of people you must meet, the work that has to be done to grow or even maintain, of course it’s true. There are only so many hours in the day and so much of any person to go around.
I appreciate your honesty in how you feel you “cheated yourself” to meet requirements,etc. I did the same thing but at the time thought I was the only one. Your statement truthfully shows the deception goes all the way to the top. It’s not just the struggling few Sales Directors, it’s all of them and it’s the shameful secret that Mary Kay hides. The blame falls on corporate and the NSDs who know full well what is going on and continue to promote “the lifestyle” and “just getting it done” like it was some sort of top secret, stop gap measure that you’ll never use again. It’s business as usual inside Mary Kay, the staus quo.
Thank you for sharing your perspective. It speaks volumes and I know there will be many Directors who visit Pink Truth and realize they are caught in the same trap. You have done a very valuable service today!
On another note, I’m glad you are getting out. Once the blinders come off and the sham is exposed it’s hard to continue. Every day you feel like a fraud in front of your people because you know the truth and can’t say anything for fear of losing everything you thought you honestly worked for. It’s soul sickening. Stepping away is the only way to redeem it. I returned my inventory after 29 years and I’m not sorry for even a second.
I wish you well in your return to the corporate world and I thank you so much for sharing your experience and view from the top of the pyramid. That took guts.
Pink Truth and the women who tell their truth make an HONEST difference in the lives of others!
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didpinkawhileago
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Yes and no on keeping in touch. In all of my jobs I had a business relationship with my bosses. That was it. Some were more social than others incl doing social things like seeing each other at co-workers’ weddings, parties etc or going out for dinner for work. I keep in touch with a few that were a mentor but no one ever did the ” girl time” talk in an interview, said your fellow co-workers are your close friends etc- they all work together, they are coworkers! I am gladd someone up the food chain is writing articles but all the 1099s in a year can say you brought in big bucks. I also want to see your chargebacks, expenses and of course- the schedule C you reported to the Uncle Same after taking your info from your 1099s.
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MontanaFan
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Yep, I’d want to see the schedule C, chargebacks and expences too.
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adchick
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“When people quit other jobs, I wonder if they expect the boss to stay in touch with them and be buddies?”
I agree with this statement…you don’t stay in touch with your former boss and be buddies but nor do you burn bridges. However, as a director you are not considered my boss because it is my own business. You are considered my mentor and yes you do expect to keep in touch with your mentor. Even if you choose to opt out of MK, you would hope that your mentor would want to stay connected because she supposedly cares about you, as she claimed during those multiple phone calls. You would also hope that she respects your decision instead of bad mouthing you thus burning bridges.
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pinkpeace
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On the flip side, when I left MK directorship, I was still heavy into the pink fog (hadn’t found PT yet). When I tried to stay in touch with some of my unit members, I was pretty much ignored.
I’m not sure whether it was because they thought I was betraying them by leaving, although I was very positive about MK and encouraged them to continue on.
Anyway, this post was tremendous, and I appreciate everything the author said. The vast majority of SDs worked hard to become directors because they truly believed in the pink dream. But the bare minimum requirements of directorship very quickly turn them into people they never thought they’d be.
Thanks for this post!
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onelessSD
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Thank you so much for writing this amazing article! It really shows how life at the top really is.
We were always shown the picture of the lifestyle we could have, if we just worked hard enough, sacrificed (short-term…which turned into long-term!) enough, and churned through enough people to get what we wanted. I’m like you & Freshie, I cared too much. I stayed in the chains of Directorship for 3-4 yrs longer than I should have because I cared about the women in my unit, and didn’t want to send them back to my Sr’s unit.
I sincerely wish you the best in your new Corporate America endeavors, and I congratulate you on being ‘unchained’ from MK.
Thank you again for writing what you did- I know it will make a difference to other directors that are searching for the truth.
On a side note: @didpink – while I agree with the idea that women who spout out that they made great money in MK – we should call them out and they should pony-up the proof, this lady wasn’t bragging about all the money she made, or even tell us we are lazy, etc. I know there are women who make great money in MK – at the total expense of others, but this lady has seen the light, and is walking away from it all. I for one, don’t need for her to show proof.
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Freshoutofpink
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Well said Oneless!
It’s fantastic that Future NSD has the guts to tell the truth and to get out. It’s like JTA when she called out MK as she realized what was happening in her downline. Exteme debt, lost marriages and families, etc. This is what you get when you associate with Mary Kay Cosmetics.
Moreover, this Director’s story shows that things are not as they appear over in the pink pasture.
Future NSD, when you make your exit it will be a very strong statement to corporate and your sister dirctors. Others will take notice and for that you get my standing ovation!
Thanks again for your view from the top and I look forward to hearing more from you.
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imewise
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Right On oneless! When the short term sacrifice became 10 years for me, the mask came off.
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Freshoutofpink
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Imewise, it was the same for me. After all my hard work getting and staying in directorship I saw the company for what it really is. The scales fell off and I got out!
I’m grateful every day of my life.
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advertisingchick
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Ok sorry for my above comment. Must have copied/pasted too much. It can be deleted. I meant to say the below:
“When people quit other jobs, I wonder if they expect the boss to stay in touch with them and be buddies?”
I agree with this statement…you don’t stay in touch with your former boss and be buddies but nor do you burn bridges. However, as a director you are not considered my boss because it is my own business. You are considered my mentor and yes you do expect to keep in touch with your mentor. Even if you choose to opt out of MK, you would hope that your mentor would want to stay connected because she supposedly cares about you, as she claimed during those multiple phone calls. You would also hope that she respects your decision instead of bad mouthing you thus burning bridges.
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didpinkawhileago
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I know she is not coming here calling us negative etc, but she mentioned 1099s and earning the big girl checks and my point is, does she realize, she really didnt since expenses etc caring for the 900 recruits under her could eat her alive. Which is no doubt why the burn out is easy, esp since as she said nothin is ever good enough and yes, there are not enough hours in the day. So yes I welcome you, but do check all the other items as well against your big income and free car.
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MLM Radar Detector
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“However, I have been torn as a director, because I have watched my own directors struggle, and have watched my consultants go into debt.”
When you slow down to think, that’s got to hurt a lot. You have realized the source of your own income is the hundreds of women who went into debt and lost money buying inventory they could never sell. YOU told them not to order too much, but your guidance sure weren’t followed by your downline. And the worst part is there’s no way to make it right for the ones who lost, other than by encouraging them to return whatever inventory they still can.
Congratulations on seeing through the fog. Welcome back to the real world.
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Unpinkedassistant
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Thank you for this very revealing article about life near the top of the MK food chain. Life in MK hurts people a great deal in many ways. I’m so glad you are getting out.
I believe you when you say you grossed over $100,000. It is possible to gross this much if you are at a certain position on the MK career ladder. The ESSD I worked for had 600 people in her downline.
In the end, expenses ate her alive and she lost money in spite of the $80,000. gross income. This is down from a little over $100,000. in previous years. She not only lost money but is in credit card debt up to her eyeballs.
So glad you are getting off the hamster wheel. Congratulations.
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Ladyday
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Frankly, this is really eye-opening. I am working one PT position and doing a lot of volunteer work, and I have been told that I am just not making enough time for my business. I used to work 55 – 80 hours a week in corporate world, which just about killed me. Now I am hitting my one year anniversary and my Director keeps pushing me to recruit, recruit. I haven't made any money in it, and have a whole lot of inventory sitting in my closet. I show up at events, and I am expected by my Director to hand over my notes and everything else so that she can get everything I wrote down. Do I feel used – absolutely! If I do choose to share the opportunity, I am okay if people say no. Honestly. I would rather build a network of people who want to do this the right way, then just get people signed up for the wrong reasons.
Have I been pushed to sign up people when they ran the starter kit special? Yes. Did I? No. Why, because I just felt like it was a little too slick for my taste. I dealt in cleaning up fraud for most of my life, so getting people signed up just to get this kit sounds really silly to me. I won't push my friends to do it because I love them. I am now seriously considering doing massage therapy full time and borrowing money to do the certification so that I won't be depending on that Mary Kay check every month.
It's refreshing to hear someone talk about the struggle – usually we're just told we don't have the right priorities or we aren't working hard enough. I have found ONE Director in my area who was honest and said she missed DIQ by one person and had to go through it again. You know what I heard other Directors say about her – that her UPLINE should have been tracking forward and had her sign someone else. I resepected her for being honest and saying what her truth was.
Desparation breeds hesitation. So, I think it's wise for anyone Director or above in Mary Kay to take that into consideration. It helps that I have the support of my mom and a background in dealing in litigation, so I'm not pushed around too easily. It is very easy to get caught in the fog.
It's possible to be content with it as a part time business, but don't be surprised if there is not someone stepping on your fingers to get to the top. Human nature is just that.
Thanks to this site for keeping it balanced.
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Tracee
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You know as soon as I quit mk I knew I would never see or hear from my director again, not because she didn’t care but because she’s too busy doing mary kay 24/7 Then one day I decided to be honest to everyone I had lied to and post a note on fb explaining the truth about mary kay and why I quit. After that post my director deleted me and my first thought was..she was never really my friend but then..I quickly got over it because its what she’s told to do from from her nsd and actually it made me feel very sad for her that she is in so deep and can’t even think for herself..not to mention did I really think we could be friends outside of mary kay…NO! and why would I want to be anyway? Those women are so lost in the pink fog and need prayer that they will see the light just as we all have.
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