The Personal Integrity Challenge
Written by Raisinberry
As I move on in my own business, and away from Mary Kay, I am reminded to clearly define what the boundary lines are to my own sales approach. I spent some time thinking about how the lines got blurred in Mary Kay…
Like any slippery slope, you first get a small warning in your spirit about what you are doing or have done. Whether or not you listen to that warning and course correct to do what is right, is the challenge to all of us. Maybe our stint in Mary Kay was one of those defining moments that lays out the one correct course for our lives. To decide what the truth is, what it is not, what integrity is and what it is not, and work to fiercely defend it.
When my Director called me to tell me my first recruit “did a diamond,” I was ecstatic. For her? No. For me. She quickly encouraged me to round up any other recruits I could find to use #1’s production to go on target for my car.
I had one recruit. I wasn’t thinking about going on target for my car. But everybody said “Listen to your director,” so I did. I didn’t make it, but I recruited two more. When it came time for the inventory talk, #2 was unprepared, and pressured because My director wanted an “on target.” I suddenly had that warning in my spirit that inventory was for me, not for #2. Her poor reaction to the end of the month pressure caused her to never participate again. My buzzers went off, but I stuffed my ears.
The dulling of integrity had begun.
Each new recruit represented wholesale, as my director called to tell me the good or bad news. “She’s got no credit,” “She is qualified,” “all she can do is activate,” “She’s a sapphire star!” I always wondered why what they “did” was a word other than spend money. I don’t recall ever being told, “She just put $4,278. 85 on her credit card.”
On the directors’ conference call years later, all of us who had recruited were featured. My National wanted me to share what my new recruit ordered. I was the winner because my recruit ordered “a diamond.” At 26% commission, I was the belle of the ball. Nobody wanted to know what my recruit brought to the table in terms of personality or skills, what her dreams were or what she wanted to accomplish. She was a diamond, and that’s all anybody needed to know.
A point in time comes when you realize that all efforts at skin care classes and all interviews are culminating in the moment when you get the wholesale order. The recruit is rarely prepared, but instead is taken on a path that presents the ordering bonus and what she gets free.
And the closing question is not, “Does this level of merchandise make you uncomfortable?” No…we would never want that answer. What we ask instead is, “How much free product do you want? $100 worth… or over $700 worth? ”
Integrity is formed in the mini-moments. Is what you are doing benefiting you more than the person you are working with? Are you disclosing all the facts? Are you being an opportunist? Are you deflecting rational thought through silly come-ons and freebies? Do you want the best for other people or only yourself? Do you want to sleep like a baby at night?
When people are reduced to what we can “get out of them,” our buzzer has been silenced. It is no longer operating and we can no longer judge what is good from what is better. Distinguishing good from bad is obvious to the woman of Integrity.
Distinguishing good from better reveals the depth of integrity from which a woman lives.
Had our integrity buzzers been working in Mary Kay, we would have never loaded with inventory a woman who never sold before. Not for any reason. If I can be so blunt, a woman with poor interpersonal skills should have never been taken advantage of. I have seen women who had emotional problems frontloaded because they could be, as well as women whose personal appearance would prevent women from seeing them in any capacity under the “beauty consultant” label. Before you remind me not to prejudge anyone, and inform me that MK is all about transformations, let me remind you.
Good from better. What is wrong with encouraging only a small amount of inventory in order to achieve a measure of confidence and see if deficiencies can be conquered? What good does it serve to frontload an emotionally challenged individual who will take the next two years learning to stand up and say her name? If you are rationalizing that it is still her decision, you have missed the point. We were to be mentors! Not predators!
If you think I am not giving the recruit the benefit of the doubt, think of the “success” ratio of the gregarious, sharp and gifted with confidence red jacket, who has everything going for her? How are HER sales doing?
We have bought our own excuses and numbed our own consciences to accommodate the fact that we NEED that production and we must get it. Reducing people to whatever amounts their plastic can carry, and referring to them as sapphires, rubies and diamonds, as we brag about our production, is the slippery slope that leads to a full scale integrity melt-down.
As we rebuild our lives, let’s remember again, that doing the right thing is not always the easiest thing. Choosing to do what’s better over what’s good, has greater rewards than what is seen in the immediate. And taking advantage of people always backfires against us, because we know what we did, as the rationalizations fade away. We scar ourselves chasing short term gain.
Gain can be good, but a clear conscience is better. If you operate your Mary Kay Unit with integrity, thinking first and foremost of your people and their situations, and your production starts to fall…do you have the integrity, to undergo the loss, without making your people lose more?
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Tags: frontload, mary kay challenge, mary kay integrity, on target
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Comments (16)
Imewise
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This is by far, the best article I have ever read here on pt. It simply shines a light on small moments when every consultant who is a recruiter thinks of at one point or another… we determine if we will understand the concept of inventory= commission= mk superstar, or this is a human being ordering shniz on her credit card.. is she seriously going to sell it or am I just trying to milk it for all she has?
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onelessSD
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Raisin- this is a masterpiece!
I’m now looking back on my “building years” and I see how little by little my integrity was sacrificed on the alter of ego. With each recruit my ego grew and my integrity was slowly sliding away. I stopped looking at women as women, but merely as a number on my ladder to directorship. Once I got to directorship, after the 1st couple of years, it was starting to sink in, this isn’t the best way to live. I put on a good face and pretended that all was okay, but I felt truly empty inside – like I had nothing good to give anyone. I remember when we changed churches to a much bigger church- my SD said “think of all the opportunities for customers & recruits!!…” but I had already determined that I wasn’t going to church for business purposes, I was going to find strength, peace, encouragement, accountability and to grow spiritually. I was done with the fakeness of MK and I needed healing in my heart.
It’s been 3+ yrs in this new healing process and my integrity is being restored to pre-MK days – thank God!
Thank you Raisin for your article- it shows how ‘well-meaning’ women (the beginning recruiters) are slowly morphing into a woman they won’t recognize in just a short time down the road. It’s easy to be guided down the road of deception and not even realize that’s the direction you’re going.
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freshoutofpink
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Amen to what you just said, Oneless!
We morphed into the fakeness and now we are being restored. It is good!
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freshoutofpink
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Thank you for your profound insight, Raisin. Every word is so true.
I also bought into the schpiel that I should go on target for my car when my first recruit came into the business with a diamond star order. I’m sure I was a Director’s dream because I had a large client base and many years in the company. I went on to car, submit for DIQ and became a SD.
I remember asking my SSD about who should or shouldn’t recruit when I was in DIQ. I got the speech about not prejudging, of course. She said, “everyone gains from their Mary Kay business. Even if they fail they have made gains by their association with the company”. I chose to believe this. I ignored my moral compass.
It was a whirlwind of excitement. I finished with DIQ with 15 Star Consultants. All frontloaded into my new unit by myself and my SSD. I was too glazed over to question anything at that point.
Long story short, the day came when I couldn’t ignore the ugly truth anymore and I made the decision to end it. I’ve been out almost two years and I’m still healing every day.
To quote a friend who was in my unit and frontloaded on my behalf, “Trust in God, clean house and do your work”. I continue to make amends whenever I can…
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Lazy Gardens
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Your SSD said“everyone gains from their Mary Kay business. Even if they fail they have made gains by their association with the company”.
Wow, just being in her space, breathing the same air, must be soooo awesome.
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Scrib
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They’ve made gains by their association with the company, alright. They’ve gained 50% more groans, eye-rolls, and comments of “Oh God, not one of those pyramid party things again,” from their social circle. MK culture likes to tell its women that everyone’s scrambling to book a party, but in reality, most of these parties are taking place because the consultant is pleading for someone’s “help.” Check it out:
[i]“And women will help – I’m telling you guys over and over – for free or for a challenge. And if you’ve got the sticklers that are just like, “Oh, I don’t know, I’m so busy” I just say, “Listen, you don’t understand,” I beg, plead. “I need your help, I have this huge goal.” And many of you, you gotta throw away the pride…when you do not care what people think about you, is the moment you will move up in this business…every woman wants to help with a goal or a challenge.”[/i]
~NSD Dacia Wiegandt at an Ortega area Fall Advance
Maybe MK culture should start calling them “beggings” instead of “bookings.”
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Lazy Gardens
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…when you do not care what people think about you, is the moment you will move up in this business… ~NSD Dacia Wiegandt
And those of you who with to retain a bit of your friends’ respect and family goodwill can join us lazy loosers over here.
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onelessSD
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Maybe MK culture should start calling them “beggings” instead of “bookings.”
So true Scrib, so true!
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Scrib
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Raisinberry, excellent topic and a great job, as always!
“Nobody wanted to know what my recruit brought to the table in terms of personality or skills, what her dreams were or what she wanted to accomplish. She was a diamond, and that’s all anybody needed to know.”
This breaks my heart. Without question, the women who come into Mary Kay are gifted with a wide range of abilities and talents. That red jacket over there has a comforting and friendly way with children that few can lay claim to. That DIQ? She’ll repair your small appliance within the hour. What about that star team builder who once cleaned out your laptop and got it running virus-free in what seemed like a few clicks?
Mary Kay culture doesn’t seem to care about these God-given giftings; all it seems to care about is how much one can order, how much one can stretch, and how many Joel Olsteen couplets were chanted that morning in front of the mirror.
I once made a PT video for YouTube from a struggling consultant’s view. An individual claiming to be Vincent Ortega Jr, NSD Gillian Ortega’s son, chided me in the comments section with:
“Your not using any God given talents posting negative videos like this…so for that i know your not using your God Givin talents ….The Devil is obvoiusly using you.”
It’s a sad situation indeed, when those brainwashed by MK culture are unable to see the merit of any talent and/or creative abilities that exists outside it.
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raisinberry
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“gained from her association with the company..”
Yea, I heard that one too.
At what cost? Hm? How much financial abuse should a woman be happy to take in order to know how to write an affirmation or make a goal poster?
How much ostracizing from friends and family should be acceptable in order to perfect the art of giving a strategic compliment to a prospective recruit?
Its hard to quantify the new found skill of creating a false self, that can lie at the drop of a hat. And my goodness…how valuable has it been to practice lies of omission and vaguery?
At last check, on average, former DIQ’s and SD’s from my former area were over 23,000 in debt from their “mary kay” gains.
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raisinberry
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To be clear, that’s $23,000, EACH.
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freshoutofpink
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$23,000…. The magnitude of this debt for each DIQ and SD is so sad.
Why is it so many refuse to look at the facts? But then, I was one of them too…
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ttp
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At this point, how on earth can this amount of debt be blown off as “she’s just not working her business right?”
And Freshie to your point, I didn’t look at the facts for two reasons. One, I wanted the MK fairy tale dream to be true. And two, as long as I had my husband’s money to syphon from I wasn’t holding myself accountable. I used family money to pay MK expenses.
It is SO OBVIOUS now. Then, I didn’t want to see.
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wazpink
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This has to be one of the most powerful articles I have read. If a woman would read this with an open mind, she would see the truth contained within.
The focus with new recruits is to get them to order, period. They are made to feel like the most important person in the world and pushed into being qualified, ASAP.
She is then coached to have the big business debut where her close friends are recruited for her. Next is the meeting or other event where she is told what a superstar she is and to keep going because she can be a SD in 6 months. Her head is swimming, she is now in a position where she will realize she does not know how to run a business but as long as she does exactly as she is told to do, she will remain in the limelight. If she does not or cannot do what she is told, she is put on the shelf and given a demeaning title such as “Dead Red”.
I could go on but well, you know the rest of the story….
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Christy E. Bell
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O the Mary Kay fairy tale! I’ve also wanted it to be true. But the words of the Great Pirate Roberts come to mind, “Life is pain, Highness. Whoever says differently is selling something,”
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feelingbetrayed
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Wow…this article speaks truth and honesty about a company that hasn’t seen those traits in some time. You really hit the nail on the head. I too am a ‘recovering MK dropout’. I was so far into the lies that I was presenting myself as a ‘full time’ consultant. What a lie…but I was told ‘fake it before you make it’ and I did. I was all consumed by the idea of faith first, family second, and career third. Except it was MK all the time. I missed more Saturday activities while running a ‘full time’ MK business than working as a nurse. But was ‘selling’ the dream and living a lie. I have been betrayed by my sister consultants. Where are my ‘true friends’ now?
Its all a hoax. The only reason it is supposedly the number 1 skin care is that they sell inventories to women that don’t need or use them. Not because women love the product so much they use only MK…nope because it is sitting in a closet somewhere collecting dust. And then they change products and re-invent old products and force consultants to ‘stay in the now’ and update their stores. The only honorable way to do business is to sell it to a customer that wants product, but their isn’t much money in that. Thank you for speaking the truth.
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