Mary Kay Opinions: The Mary Kay Way is to Cheat and Justify
Written by “Stephanie”
I was a Sales Director in Mary Kay a few years ago. If I knew then what I know now I would have never became a sales director… especially not doing it the way I was taught to do it.
Being in MK you learn the lingo, the language and the look. “Those who show up, go up”, “Do what you have to do to get over the hump”. Well it is not all that it is cracked up to be.
If I can share anything about my experience and ordeal, it would be to warn other women not to do what I did and not get “sucked” into the MK dream of doing things unethically thinking it will get you ahead. What you must understand though, is that everyone in Mary Kay is doing it. Every sales director has signed up family and friends and paid the money for them to finish DIQ. Every sales director has topped off production to meet minimums or appear to “finish a goal.” Every sales director has ordered in someone else’s name to make them active.
The sales directors all do this to achieve or maintain a status. How did the NSDs get to where they are? By putting in their own money for the units that don’t have enough production, pulling recruits out of thin air to prop up numbers, and generally scamming the system to meet the goal. If you think your director is one of the “good ones” who hasn’t done any of this, it is only because you do not know the truth about her.
Let me tell you my story from from the completion of my DIQ and go from there…
Month 4 of DIQ: By the time I was in my 4th month of DIQ, I had learned how to coach women into spending money on large orders and putting orders through in other consultants’ names just to stay active on my roster. In the last month, when it all counts, I literally placed over $3,000 in MK sales orders in all of my inactive consultants’ names just so I could finish DIQ with 30 people as this was the requirement then.
Under the full direction and guidance of my former sales director, she showed me how to place the orders in their names as long as they were “ok with it.” She knew that my husband had a very nice limit on his credit card and told me to ask him to put some money on it to get over the threshold of becoming a sales director. Mu husband knew how hard I worked the previous 3 months so he agreed. Obviously he did not know what he had agreed to and I did not clearly tell him just how much I was going to spend to get over the hump.
Other Sales Directors had done it and I was called by some of my former SD’s director friends to put the money through so that I could make it. I was told I would make it up in MK commissions and it would not matter in a few months anyway. So I did it. Only seeing what I wanted to see and not using the discernment God gave me, I placed all the orders. I activated 16 people on my roster to look like they all placed $200 orders and had all the product shipped to my home. You do the math. Over the next few weeks after making it, people celebrated my success. My former sales director was happy. She was now a Senior Director and not to mention received a nice commission from it.
Month 1 as a new Director: In my first month as a director, my unit was struggling to make the minimum sales each month to remain an active unit. On top of that, I never actually told my husband what was actually charged on his credit card. He happened to check the balance and called me immediately at work and let me have it. He was furious. He did not speak to me for weeks! In addition to this, I was being laid off of my job and my now Senior Sales Director encouraged me to work MK full time and not look for a new job. She explained to me how she did it and advised that I could do it too.
What I reluctantly ignored was that she lived at home with her mother and had very minimal bills to pay so it was easy for her to work the business full time with no worries. My husband and I have a mortgage, car notes, household bills, food and groceries to maintain. My husband encouraged me to look for another job but my director had my ear so she again advised me to just “look” for a job so he cannot say that you did not look for one and that way you will be doing what he asked you to do. I did just that and it did not get any better.
Month 2 of directorship: We did not hit production in the first month so I knew we were in trouble when my commission check was worth less than $100.00. It became extremely stressful in my home but I kept working as my director told me to do. She also worked and began to back away from me allowing me to “lead my unit” on my own.
Our unit did not grow the way it was supposed to but at the same time I kept being optimistic about the entire situation. After all I heard the stories of women who spent money to get to the top and now their spouses are happy so I felt there was no reason why we could not have the same thing.
My Senior Director went on and on about doing what you got to do to stay on top. Over time I watched her place orders in other consultant’s names, put her family members like her brother and boyfriend in the system as qualified consultants so she can earn her bumble bee. The thought of how much I trusted her sickened me. What was worse is that things did not get any better at home. My husband wanted to file for divorce. He went to seek a divorce lawyer and told me he would not fight for anything. He just wanted to go our separate ways. He advised to me that if he could not trust me, there was nothing. I begged for his forgiveness and told him how sorry I was for what has happened.
Over the next six months (Jan – June) we only hit production once. By May 31st of that year, I lost the directorship. What was even more heartbreaking is that when I tried to talk to my director about it, she immediately put all of the blame back on me. “You put the money on the credit card! You made the decision to do it!” My heart sank! I knew that I did it but I also knew who gave me the idea to do it and yet she sat back and watched me nearly lose everything I had. She was not married nor did she have any children so she did not know what it means to have someone else to rely on.
I had nothing. I was left with nothing. All I could do was pray and ask God to help me get out of this situation and redeem my marriage and the things I had done. I did find another job and put my multiple degrees to work for me. My husband got a second job and resented me for it for quite some time. We got counseling and worked together to get ourselves back on track.
After it was all said and done and I received a call from the company to notify me I was no longer a director, I never heard from my director again. Her Senior Director reached out to me and encouraged me and told me to focus on my marriage but my director did not. Over time, I grew to hate her and vowed she would never get another dime from me again! I also have shared my story with up and coming consultants so they would not make the same mistakes I made. I told them not get “caught up” in the glam, the prizes and wanting to be on top that you would be willing to do whatever you had to to get there and stay there. It is not worth it in the end.
Now that some years have passed I am still hearing of my former sales director doing the same things to stay on top. Unethical practices will get you nowhere and it is only a matter of time before the company finds out what she has been doing. I pray that God has mercy on her for all the people she has burned along the way. I also pray that my story will serve as a vehicle to others to not make the same mistakes I made.
Similar Posts:
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- The Lengths Mary Kay Directors Will Go To In Order To Make Production
- Mary Kay Put a Wedge in My Marriage
- I Didn’t Do It the “Right Way” In Mary Kay
- Mary Kay Ash’s Missing Marriages (Seven Husbands!)
Tags: diq, minimum production, new director
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Comments (9)
inthered
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Stephanie, thanks for sharing your story. There were quite a few elements of your story that reminded me of my own. It saddens me to still see friends who are directors struggling to grow their MK business, feeling like failures when they can’t win with a broken system.
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beebee
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Heartbreaking. Good that you were able to save your marriage, though.
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exibc78
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“What was even more heartbreaking is that when I tried to talk to my director about it, she immediately put all of the blame back on me. “You put the money on the credit card! You made the decision to do it!” My heart sank! I knew that I did it but I also knew who gave me the idea to do it and yet she sat back and watched me nearly lose everything I had. ” I can not tell you how many times I have heard this in almost the same words. This is why we are not alone. The fogged ones will say this to anyone and it kills me to see it.
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pinkiu
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Thank you for your story. Even though you realize that you put yourself in this position, what people often don’t get is the heavy pressure and manipulation that is placed on you to do what you did. It’s why MK is so often compared to a cult. They use all of the same techniques that cults use to entice you into their lifestyle and belief system. Below is long, but it comes from Christian Answers – a cult or “mind control” test. Do you answer yes to any of the questions?
Do you feel that no matter how hard you try, the “good deeds” you perform for your group are never quite enough? As a result of this do you often feel plagued with feelings of guilt?What are you motivated by? Is it genuine love for God and the group etc., or is it fear of not meeting the desired standards?Is questioning the group, or the group leaders, discouraged or frowned upon?Does the group you belong to believe that it is an elite and exclusive organization which alone has the truth and answers to life’s questions?
Is reading any literature critical of the group discouraged? Many cults will warn members not to read anything critical of the group, especially if written by an ex-member (who are called names by the cult such as “apostate”, “hardened”, or “of the devil” etc.). This is a well known information control technique to stop the member from discovering the clear and documented errors of the cult. Members abilities to think for themselves is effectively disarmed in this way. Instead, they will think more and more as the rest of the group thinks.Take a look at the way the group looks and acts.
Does everyone dress, act, and talk more or less the same? One observer, speaking of his particular involvement with a cult, said that the group encouraged its members “to do everything in exactly the same way – to pray the same, to look the same, to talk the same. This in psychology is a classic example of group conformity. Its purpose is to ensure that no one tries to act differently or become dissident, thus nobody questions the status quo.” (Andrew Hart, Jan. 1999).
Does the group discourage association with non-members (except, maybe, for the possibility of converting them to the group)?Does the group give you “black and white” answers–what the group agrees with is right and what the group disagrees with is wrong?Does everyone in the group believe exactly the same things (i.e. what the group leaders tell them to believe)? Is there no room for individual belief, or opinion even in minor areas?Does the group wear “two faces”? On the one hand, does it attempt to present itself to potential converts and the public at large as a group of people who are like one large family, full of love and equality? But in actuality, does the group have many members that inwardly feel unfulfilled and emotionally exhausted?Have you attempted to disable your own God given critical thinking abilities by “shelving” various doubts about the group or groups teachings etc.Are those in the group who do not conform to the requirements of the movements teaching treated with suspicion, as if they are second-class members? Does the group tend to withhold certain information from the potential convert? Are the more unusual doctrines of the group not discussed until an individual is more deeply involved in the movement?
Do you feel fearful of leaving the group? Many cults use subtle fear tactics to stop members from leaving. For example, the group may imply that those who leave will be attacked by the Devil, have a nasty accident, or at least not prosper because they have left “the truth”.
If you answered “yes” to most of the questions on the previous pages, the group which you are involved with is certainly using manipulative mind control techniques.
http://www.christiananswers.net/evangelism/beliefs/test-mindcontrol.html
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Oney Jones
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Unfortunately, Stephanie’s account of her experience moving up the ‘ladder of success’ in Mary Kay is all too familiar. I really, really thought that any extra money I put into qualifications would be made up with a future director check.
The comments about comparing MK to a cult are spot on. Stay away from people who don’t think like you do. Don’t read anything that speaks against what you believe. Wear this; not that. Keep going to the events, otherwise you’re not serious about moving up in your business.
Oh how I wish these accusations about how a mk business is were not true. But it is true. And you know, it’s not negative at all. I think what ticks people who are still in mk off about this site is that everything they read hits too close to home and no one wants to admit they’ve been duped. No one wants to admit they fell for all of the lies and half-truths. We all want to think we were smarter than that.
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raisinberry
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Yes. This is a true article, and is the norm, not the exception. The year after I left, I was contacted by at least 17 Directors from my own and other National Areas. They ALL reported the same scenario. “Just get it done”.”Wink, wink.” Everyone in Mary Kay, including Corp. knows EXACTLY how it gets done. The only women who don’t, are the newest recruits, and the ones too fearful to read this website.
Sadly, even when this site exposed the scam, the same tactics were and are still being used. Nothing’s changed. My Unit members that got absorbed by my Senior were still victimized by the same “training”…and as you’d expect, are massively in debt. My warning went unheeded, because I “was negative”. That is their tactic. Continue to financially and emotionally abuse women by distorting the testimony and accusing the whistleblowers.
Hopefully a Director risking a look at this website today, will break free, thanks to your story.
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Trigger
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Stephanie;
Your story is so sad. Can you tell us how you resolved the situation? Did you send your product back? Have a huge sale? Donate product?
Other consultants who are in your same situation now are desparate to know how you worked it out.
It is always inspiring to see people overcome huge obstacles.
I began divorce proceeding from MK right after I found PT. Like an idiot, I told my SD what I had found and, well, you can imagine we’re not ‘tight’ any more. I’ve been frozen out of the group. What a surprise.
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Inshock20
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Stephanie – thank you so much for your story! I am currently an MK Consultant but thanks to this website, I was able to see the light and DO NOT operate how they do. I joined MK (for the 2nd time) last September while I was unemployed, I believed the whole deceptive speech I was told to a certain extent. I placed my $1800 order (got the MK Credit Card) and had my debut party done by my NSD. Within the first month I was in the Red Jacket and my recruiter was in DIQ at the time she is now a SD. Everything was going good, until the parties started slowing down, sales too and I started a new job.
I’ve heard it all, the “show up to go up”, “you have to work your business”, etc., etc., etc. and then I found this website one day while looking up my NSD’s site, boy was I glad I did.
Since then I have learned all the gimmics they use to make you order product I don’t need. I am almost done paying my initial investment and have made other orders along the way as well which I have paid for already.
My attitude right now is I will sell if I have to, order when I need to based on customer orders, recruit NO ONE, and if I go inactive and I don’t get commission on my recruits so be it.
But I refuse to drag people to debt and put them in a position invest money they don’t have for my self gain…DON’T THINK SO…..
I basically I will work my “business” my way… of course this goes against everything my NSD and SD think!
Boy am I glad I found PINK TRUTH…..
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IWASGULLIBLE
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Thank you for this article. I’d been toying with the idea of ordering product just to help my friend make directorship. After reading your article I realize I would not be doing her (or myself) any good.
I am putting money I’d normally have used for MK in my savings account. It feels good to watch that little $200 grow instead of disappearing into thin air (or pink air ).
Inshock20 just a little advice. I also had joined a second time, thinking that things would be different. I found that the same thing was happening as last time. Friends and family gave me “pity orders” for a while but I found that when they wanted to make that order of lipstick that I did not have in stock cost me more thatn I’d gained.
Just make sure you keep a constant watch on your income and your outflow. That is what any responsible business person does.
Most people I’ve know who run a business make every effort not to go into debt, they also have a second source of income that helps cover expenses for at least two years. I’ve know several who have had to get out when they saw no profit after a certain period of time.
I strongly encourage anyone who desires to have their own business to take business classes and just stay way from MLM.
If you need extra money, don’t spend money to make money…get a regular job…and get paid for real, even if it is mimimum wage. You will still come out ahead better than “investing” in MLM.
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