Déjà Spew: We Attract, Not Attack!

 Written by The Scribbler

Next up on That’s Incredible:  NSDs who tell it like it is!  Let’s listen in as NSD Nancy Moser schools her units regarding proper behavior at unit meetings.  It’s fresh, it’s with-it, and now comes with 150% more cold hard reality!

“Because this is our home away from home, our desire is to build a professional and caring image amongst the other tenants.  Please do not “warm-chatter” every person in these offices.  We want them to see us as professional, nice women, not 40-50 people asking them to have a free facial or hear about our career…we need to respect these people…thank you for your high integrity and image to make others feel comfortable around us.  We attract, we do not attack.”

As they say in more refined circles, “Boy howdy, Sydney Jo; let’s pluck us some logic off this pink yard bird and fry th’ sucker up!” (And if it’s State Fair time in your neck of the woods, put that puppy on a stick, too!)

NSD Moser is straying into dangerously (and refreshingly) “negative” territory by stating the obvious:  Cornering women with the line, “You owe it to yourself to at least hear the facts!” is about as professional as those very special student/teacher “tutoring sessions” we keep hearing about on Fox News.  Call me nuttier than a sack of trail mix, but the steamiest things I ever encountered in high school were the cafeteria’s tater tots.  And that’s only if I hooked up lunch lady Doris with a current copy of Soap Opera Digest.  Don’t try to be slick, Chief; a lesser bribe’ll land you shivery spuds.  Doris plays hardball when it comes to her stories.

Of particular interest is Moser’s use of the phrases, “we need to respect these people” and “make others feel comfortable around us.”  Her verbiage implies that the only way to respect women and put them at ease is to not engage them in warm-chatter!  What troubles me is the fact that once Moser’s units leave the safe area, all that practical guidance is going to circle the bowl the second Director Nadamoolah checks her e-mail and finds one of these gems:

“Were you conscious about adding 10+ new Agreements?  Did you press through to a win or give in with a sigh?” (NSD Pam Shaw’s “Director Strategy Checklist”)

 “If there is a “no” to an appointment, then ask for outside orders.  If “no”, ask her to be a model.  If “no”, ask her to fill out a marketing survey RIGHT NOW!  After two attempts at calling her, send her an e-mail…” (“Fill Your Datebook!” by NSD Gloria Mayfield-Banks)

 “After 4-5 days, when you’ve tried reaching the prospect at several different times of the day and have left one message, leave another message and say, “…Give me a quick call to let me know you still want to be pampered…by the way, I’ll likely try you back until we connect!” (Director training document, “Why Doesn’t She Answer Her Phone?”)

I don’t know about you, but the only thing those methods are going to attract are roundhouse kicks to the face.  Can we all agree that there’s nothing attractive about NSD Shaw’s advice to “press through to a win” in one’s recruiting interviews?  No mincemeat here, friends:  that’s an attack, pure and simple.

So what happens if you take this vile guidance and repeatedly dip it in syrupy sentiments like, “You are not at this event by accident, but by design,” “Do you have a giant inside you, screaming to get out?” and “Couldn’t you get excited about seeing the rosebud within you bloom and grow?”  Will it still look like an attack?

On the contrary; after all that sugaring, you now have a “product” that looks quite different than what you started with; you now have a sweet, sticky pink lolly with a dark fecal center.  An attractive attack.

Is there any reason why you won’t have a lick?  I’m in a contest and I just need your opinion…

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13 Responses to Déjà Spew: We Attract, Not Attack!

  1. Marie March 3, 2014 at 9:59 am #

    I recall being the “mark” at my office once. A coworker was trying to get me interested in that CieAura BS — she invited her up line in to visit & they started talking about all the people who’ve lost weight, reduced stress, reached Nirvana, climbed Mt Everest.

    I ignored them, kept working, placed phone calls…

  2. Genie Baskir March 3, 2014 at 10:21 am #

    Havie here!

    In the age of the IPhone I will have automatically blocked the number after the first message. Call away, no one, not even Super NSD, can press to anything but dead line.

    I believe current technology is predicated on avoiding MLM business scams. LOL….

  3. MLM Radar March 3, 2014 at 11:34 am #

    One of the best parts about the iOS 7 software is the ability to ignore nuisance callers. Apple finally caught up with the rest of the cell phone world.

    Leave all the messages you want, pest. My phone deletes every single one as soon as you hang up, and I never know you called.

    Silence is bliss.

  4. CaliforniaGal March 3, 2014 at 2:08 pm #

    Hi Gal friends, I noticed the unusual juxtaposition of these two comments that you successfully weave together. On the one hand this director wants her her IBC to place nice while in their MK meeting site. Don’t treat our nest as a place to stalk victims for your MK business.

    On the other hand, once you zero your laser sites on a potential victim, don’t take no for an answer. Keep harassing your target until she gives un and signs up with you.

    What’s wrong with the picture? Well, for starters, no one wants to be stalked, harassed, or targeted by aggressive saleswomen of any type. Funny what’s OK elsewhere is not OK in the building where you meet.
    Kind of seems hypocritical, don’t ya think?

    • MLM Radar March 3, 2014 at 3:14 pm #

      It’s a requirement in the lease: “quiet enjoyment.” None of the tenants are permitted to approach people unsolicited while in the building or the parking lot. So the folks from the Primerica office are not permitted to send invitations to the women at Mary Kay success meetings, the women in the Mary Kay office are not permitted to stalk the Primerica opportunity night attendees, and neither is permitted to put fishbowls in the first floor beauty salon.

      But walk across the street to the iHop…

  5. Jack629 March 3, 2014 at 6:05 pm #

    I’ve heard of sh** on a cracker, but not sh** on a stick! That was hilarious!!

    I agree that she is headed into dangerous negative waters. Because, why oh why wouldn’t everyone in the office complex want to hear about MK and like that sh** on a stick? Hopefully someone on the edge of the fog will see through it and come to the side of the Truth!

  6. Escapedthepink March 3, 2014 at 8:08 pm #

    Remember that old expression, “Never shit where you sleep”?

  7. Tried Twice March 22, 2014 at 4:58 pm #

    I absolutely love this! It’s not professional to warm chatter people, but go do it once you leave this building. Awesome!

  8. keldub March 23, 2014 at 11:30 am #

    I absolutely love this site such a guilty pleasure. I love these psycho techniques of just keep calling and bullying people into mary kay. The same thing happened to me when I was fresh out of college and working two jobs. Alone and struggling I accidentally walked into the path of a mk barbie who just knew i would be incredible at selling but i held strong the starter kit was unattainable for me financially and I never heard from her again. She has since stopped selling interesting.

  9. Warm Chattered March 22, 2015 at 11:58 am #

    Recently I was waiting for my friend in the lobby of a theater. I was approached by a woman in a red jacket. She complimented me on something or other and kept talking and smiling while I tried frantically to remember having met this person before.

    After an excruciating four minutes of phony compliments, she finally got around to mentioning Mary Kay. She said she had been helping to do makeup for the play. She asked if I would be a “face model” for her and gave me her card. Fortunately, my friend arrived at this point and I was able to politely decline and get away, although the encounter made me feel kind of dirty.

    I had another friend who was in the play we were seeing, and I asked her about the MK lady helping with the makeup. My friend told me she drove the cast crazy trying to sell the products to them.

    I have since heard that this same consultant was asked to leave a local coffee shop after bothering customers there and that she has been spotted doing the same thing at Panera.

    It must be so awful to have to bother complete strangers in public. Now I understand the hint of desperation in her eyes.

    • QueenOfTheTanned March 24, 2015 at 4:07 pm #

      Wow…not only stalking BUT LYING! ‘Warm-chatting’ is taught/viewed as a viable business tactic. It’s so insincere, so annoying, and NOT WANTED! In this day and age, I think it’s NOT SAFE. Maybe I’m just paranoid. I am very sorry you got randomly targeted, Warm Chattered! I’ve heard when kaybots travel ‘en masse’ to whatever Brainwashing Event of the month, they challenge each other to warm-chatter a selected target at the gas station/IHOP/McDonalds like some sort of gang initiation ritual. Classy and discerning they are!

      • enorth March 24, 2015 at 5:42 pm #

        “they challenge each other to warm-chatter a selected target at the gas station/IHOP/McDonalds like some sort of gang initiation ritual.”

        And they wonder why people make fun of them.

  10. nomoremlm4me March 24, 2015 at 1:12 pm #

    Warm Chattered, that is just awful – mostly because it is the norm! She is so desperate to try to make her “business” successful that she has gone off the deep end. I’m glad you and your friend were too smart to fall for her baloney!

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