Translating Mary Kay Director Lingo: What They Say Versus What They Mean

Written by MaryKayExploitsWomen

Directors feed everyone so much bologna about Mary Kay and how great it is.  But did you know that every line of every script has an underlying message?  Everything a director tells you and/or a potential recruit can be very easily translated into its true meaning within a split second.

Here are some of the most common lines and their actual meanings:

1. You’ve Got to Show Up to Go Up = The more you show, the more I make the dough.

2. A $3600 wholesale inventory is “profit level” = If you order 3600, I’ll get to keep my car for another month.

3. Mary Kay’s marketing plan is taught at Harvard Business School = I don’t know a darn thing about Harvard’s business curriculum.

4. There are no QUOTAS in Mary Kay = There are quotas within quotas within quotas within quotas everywhere in Mary Kay.

5. Aerodynamically, the bumble bee should not be able to fly, but it does not know that and does so anyway. = I, nor Mary Kay Ash, have ever taken a biology class.

6. Mary Kay is America’s Best Selling Brand = Mary Kay is America’s number one pyramid scheme and manufacturer of skin irritants.

7. I earned a free car in my short time as a director = They haven’t take the car this month—thank God, now I need you to go out and recruit more women!

8. It’s YOUR BUSINESS, you can do what you want with it. = Mary Kay owns your soul and will police your every move.

9. You make 50% profit on your sales. = Mary Kay Corporation is the only one making a profit in this “business”

10. The product just flies off the shelf! = I’ve been watching Poltergeist too many times and I’m starting to see things… et tu, pink fog?

11. I need you to do 15 faces in 15 days = RECRUIT like you never recruited before!  I am in grave danger of losing my unit, car, suit, and cheap jewelry that came from one of those quarter dispensers!

12. Oh my gosh, I am so excited I think I’m about to burst! = Inside, I’m screaming for my life.

13. I have faith in you = I think you’re gullible enough to fall for this lie.

14. You’ve got to fake it to make it = I’ve been in MK for ten years and all I have to show for it all is enough debt to sink the economy of France.

15. Everyone can hold 2 skin care classes a week! = You need to sacrifice your family, your friends, and yourself so that you can earn me my car and commission checks.

16. Seminar will change your life! = I have NO ONE who is willing to go with me, PLEASE go so I won’t show up alone again and have to face all those stares!

17. Mary Kay is Recession-Proof = Mary Kay is sinking like the Titanic, we need you to sign on to help save the drowning rats!

18. You can start your own business for only $100 = 100 dollars is JUST the beginning of the road to financial ruin…

19. Mary Kay always holds your best interest at heart = Mary Kay always holds the quest of scamming you out of your money at heart.

20. Mary Kay women are very very happy! = We’re all losing big in this scheme and we’re too afraid to show our real feelings of anger and devastation.

15 thoughts on “Translating Mary Kay Director Lingo: What They Say Versus What They Mean”

  1. 21. Our newest consultant Irene IBC just sold $2400! = Irene ordered $1200 and no one cares if she ever sells any of it, just so long as she doesn’t sell it on eBay or try to return it.

  2. If anyone ever needs to know how popular Mary Kay is, please check ebay. Especially before a new product launch, you can’t order it nut you can sure buy it on ebay!

  3. These gals do not live in real life.
    It’s all make beelieve, dress up, fantasy, junior high, pretend nonsense.
    Except with real credit cards and real debt – those are the only two real things in this racket.

  4. #9 You make 50% profit on your sales = Yeah, right! More like you make -25% after all your expenses and even when they tell you to budget 40% of your sales as profit to allow for section 2 etc. that is still not being honest.
    Ha! You make 50% my a*s! That’s gotta be one of their biggest lies!!!

    I got told #13 soo many times. And I’m sorry to say that for ten years it was true!

    #16 Seminar will change your life = Wait! This one is true! Seminar is so boring and you will suffer from a huge sleep deficit (due to all the girl friend time) that you will need to consume copious amounts of coffee and other carbonated caffeinated drinks just to stay awake and when you come home your life WILL be changed! By heart palpitations, that is 😉

  5. And remember we are a __________________ unit! We all earned the Cadillac togehter but I am the only that gets to drive it. Thanks so much! I love all you ladies for going into debt but make sure you order next month too, we have to keep the caddy.

  6. Well, ladies, How about, can you stretch a little more this month as we need to make our team goal? Translation, please, please, put in the biggest order your credit card can handle so I don’t lose my car!

    Then there was, The speed of the leader is the speed of the team. Translation, I really need you, to lead the way and order a ton of stuff. After all you want to move up in the business. Lead the way and order like crazy.

    My gal friend, just “won her free car!” Can we get excited about my friend getting front loading experience for her future unit. Of course we know her free car will cost a lot of innocent women a ton of money. What my friend, or her husband, will spend on getting that car, she could actually buy one that would be hers to keep and not a rental.

      1. And the lease isn’t even free. The lease comes with a contract which says that you and/or your “team” will order at least $xxxx inventory every month for the next two years, or you’ll pay the lease cost yourself. AND the lease cost they charge you is WAAYYYY above what you’d pay to lease the same vehicle yourself.

        Of course, MK Corporate is banking on the presumption that, since you jumped to sign everything else waved in front in front of your nose without reading the fine print, you won’t read the fine print on THIS contract either.

        1. Wow. I didn’t know that. I knew you could technically lose the car, but had no idea they were that strict about it.

  7. There are two phrases spoken in MK that are very revealing as to what kind of “business” it is: “Find a way or make a way” and “Fake it till you make it”. Sadly, they are said to women when they’re too indoctrinated to really understand just what this means.

  8. If this weren’t so true and sad, it would be hilarious.

    22. This is my “Love Check” = This is my 13% cut of how much my dog, uncle, grandmother, and the entire church choir ordered wholesale, on my credit card, before taxes, in my DIQ month.

  9. Number 8 was something they did to me. My director was stalking my facebook and youtube channel. She told me I need to keep positive and fake it until I make it… I need to hide myself…. I hated it and I am pretty sure that’s what broke me. I am a real honest person not some fake pink barbie doll.

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