Sick and Tired of Faking it in Mary Kay

Written by Lynn717

I am sick and tired of all the fake I have seen in Mary Kay. I’ve watched my director go from someone who seemed caring and thoughtful to pushy and rude to anyone who isn’t on board with her mission. Looking back I can see how she played off my emotions in order for me to pay up for inventory, events, my recruit’s orders, because “only I could make DIQ HAPPEN.” The production amounts each month are ridiculously stupid and impossible to build an actual legit team and train them properly. It’s all about HIGH PRODUCTION and not HOW MANY YOU ACTUALLY RECRUIT AND YOUR HARD WORK. It’s always moving on to the next one, and the next one, and the next one.

It’s so superficial and I feel like I lost a lot of friends who were once team members simply because they didn’t have enough production. It’s like a popularity contest.  The only real way to make any money is to NOT go to the events and lose thousands, NOT order just to stay active, and NOT pursue “huge throw up goals” that make YOU want to pay out of your own pocket to NOT look like a “loser.” To actually only order what you sell to your customers who are loyal.

Team building seemed great, until people turn their product in and YOU get IN DEBT from that. I am so glad I DID NOT have credit, because I hate to think of how much I would of spent under the pink spell of wanting to keep my “status.” I lost a lot of money my first year in, and then I took a whole year break and basically became a personal use consultant with some loyal customers. During that break I remember my director asking me what was wrong because she could tell something was wrong. Yeah, something was wrong! I lost thousands of dollars under the pressure to not let “you” down. It was never truly about me and my family. I felt like I couldn’t tell her any of this because she would of just said, “no one made you spend money.” Nooo just convinced me and played off my believe and trust in your “friendship.”  I felt so much anxiety and I felt so defeated when I didn’t become a director like it was somehow my fault even though I tried SO hard.  I’m way happier actually keeping the little I do get, rather than “moving (paying) up the career path.”

I was told to take “personal responsibility” because “we can’t say my team this my team that.” okay.. well how are you supposed to be a director by yourself when it takes a TEAM to get there? No matter what I did, it was never good enough.

I hate to think of how many women have lost money believing they would make it back, or could pay themselves back. I’ve held so many parties and appointments I have lost count. Rarely, people actually use the skin care continuously and make-up. More often, they buy little items, never to buy again. They say they have no money, or promise to buy something, and never do. I tell my director my struggles of making sales and it is as if what I am saying goes in one ear and out of the other. If I question anything, I’m “negative,” and things online “lie.”

I was 100% on board to make my dreams a reality, and then I booked, and booked, and booked. Recruited, recruited, recruited. I booked 20 appointments in a month! 30! 40! to have cancellations, not enough sales, my recruits having cancellations, and not enough sales. I did it all “the way I was told” and I only ever TRULY got as far as a Team Leader. DIQ didn’t work out, probably because I didn’t have a credit card to keep “paying my way up.” So glad I didn’t! I’ve lost enough money. Granted I’ve met some really great people who are still my real friends and loyal customers, but that’s the only good that came from it. I learned a harsh lesson, don’t trust anyone who is making money off of you, being judge mental, and shoving religion down your throat.

I saw her true colors when she makes fun of people who aren’t “exactly her one way.” I can’t talk to these women about anything real in my life. REAL is not in their vocabulary!!!! They have great products, but I’m done “buying extra” to “finish star” or “reach a big goal.” I hate to even think of everything I have lost, and all that I could have saved, and paid off. I had just came out of a very abusive relationship and I was vulnerable to all the praise and love I “seemed” to be getting. The truth is you are just a number, and if you were to stop being useful, you’d mean nothing.

I also went to my last event this past spring, and could literally feel my skin crawling riding with these people. A team member I had recruited had become like her little puppet on strings. It was sickening to watch. I know I was being secretly talked about, it was just that feeling that you get when the fake and tension is so thick in the air you could cut it.  Gag. Gag. Gag. I thought I wanted to go to Seminar this year, but I ended up backing out, because the idea of being around a bunch of fake people made me want to throw up. Plus, I could see the money coming out of my account once again, and flashed back to how much money I lost years ago, and realized I didn’t want to go back down that path. My first Seminar I was so excited, (delusional), I pursued my goals relentlessly, and lost thousands in the process. No thanks. Not again. No matter the fact that I have made sales, when you add in all the expenses and money lost, you didn’t make much if anything.

It’s like a constant gamble. Spend money, Make money, spend money, make money, spend money. I am at a point in my life where I want to make money and save money for my future. Not stay broke. I am mad at myself for the little bit of money I have lost this year from the huge prices of registration for events, hotels, meal plans. It’s not nearly as much as I lost my first year. Thousands next to a few hundred, but it still sucks. I’ve finally managed to save some money this year, and by not investing any more into MK, I know I’ll recover slowly but surely.

It’s nice to know I am not alone.


  1. BestDecision

    No, you’re definitely not alone. Here’s a little secret: By not making it to Director, you actually saved yourself from getting into more fake people. Directors have even more pressure to appear wealthy, successful, and positive, and it is vicious when it comes to egos.

    I’ve seen Directors steal recruits and customers because they have to make a goal or deadline, and I’ve seen favoritism by NSDs that would make you sick. As a Cadillac Director, for example, we were taught to hang out with only Cadillac Directors, which left the majority of Directors outside our circle. We would often be separated from the rest when at workshops and company events, and there was a lot of pressure to stay in that Cadillac forever. You couldn’t dare admit you ever made a payment for it, either! Up to $900/month coming off your check hurt, but you couldn’t talk about it openly even with those in your same situation!

    Things aren’t always what they seem!

    1. Lynn717

      Wow. I remember being around some directors at events and they just seemed so heartless to me. Something about some of their eyes just didn’t feel right. Some were so materialistic and superficial. Things definitely are not always what they seem. I learned that the hard way, but I am glad I am being smarter now and not allowing myself to be manipulated to spend so much money!! with the false believe it will all be worth it and I’ll make it all back and more. Right… lol

      1. BestDecision

        You’re completely right, and ysl was your gut. Wearing fake rings was a way to get attention, and my Director used to offer “signing bonuses” by passing around a tray of rings and telling guests they could pick one if they signed that night. I had a couple I earned from her and MKI (Star prize), and they turned green almost immediately.

  2. narcissismatitsbest

    Thank goodness I’m not alone! My ex husband is now in the pink fog due to his recent marriage.. He’s quit/got fired (I’m not sure which) and is now her (I guess she a director or something because she had the pink car) gopher or bodyguard as he likes to say…. He claims he retired because she make so much money like 6 figures ive been told…. If that’s so then how come I can’t get an already low child support payments, why then is the tv and his cell phone cut off? So glad I found this site because they have lots of people fooled in our town!

  3. Pink distress

    Like you, I lost money. My director would go with me to every party. And then she would have the inventory on hand. I ordered the same inventory with the intent of “paying her back”. She never took any of it back. Though I wish she had, now I’m stuck with all of it. I went to conference this year with the idea that it would get me going again. It didn’t. I spent money I should’ve used for other things. But I got to get away and spend some much needed time with my mother and sister, but if they hadn’t gone, I wouldn’t have either. They are still in Mary Kay. I’m happy to be out. I’ll be my mom’s customer. To support her. But trying to keep up with the 225 every 3 months is ridiculous. I did the 600 the first month thinking it would roll over. But no it doesn’t work that way. And I got this fake ring for it. My director started giving us prizes every time we ordered 225. So basically my fake ring cost me 600. My mary kay tote cost me 225. My husband calls it a cult. I thought I could go back as a customer, but what would I do with all that inventory. I have the same bottles of face wash open, that were open a year ago. I use it pretty frequently, and still haven’t run out. I’ll have face wash for atleast another couple of years because I had several sets open for parties/ skin model bag, etc. I definitely spent way more than I ever made.

    1. PurpleH

      So your SD let you sell her inventory? Did you split the “profit” or pay her cost for it? I’m very confused why she would do it this way – and imagine if she were bank-rolling several recruits with stock like that. Weird, even for this racket.

      1. PinkJedi

        My director gave away free products, gift cards, coach purses, kate spade purses, watches, cash, drawings you name it, anything to get us to order. The sad thing is she delivered only on a quarter of it…

        1. Jamming Berry

          Your old director must be my current one. Lol!! 😉 She’s always trying to get us to call in or do career talks etc… for bags and purses and all that. I have no idea where she gets all this stuff. I quit calling long ago and at the most recent “meeting” I admitted that I don’t like purses, but would potentially be motivated by products (that I can then sell…. — right).

          Digging myself out of this mess is friggin’ HARD, but I’m determined to get as close as possible without recruiting.

  4. cindylu

    My director gave paper coupons of thank you’s. We might get the odd really cheap bee pin. She never ever traded products. My NSD gave tiny small boxes filled with air. I think she bought them in some kind of wholesale bridal salon. They were supposed to be filled with angel dust or dreams lol. Must have worked for the NSD because she was one of MK’s original NSD’s thanks to exploiting women 40 years ago. She must have gone through hundreds of women as she constantly lost units and pink cadillac’s. Yes fake, fraud, phoney, hoax, sham etc. This house of cards or mlm and those who prop it up need to allow this company to fade into the sunset once and for all.

  5. juliegalstar

    I was in MK in the late 1980’s; the fake it until you make it makes me sick! plus the “churning of hopeful women in & out of MK ” also makes me sick! It’s criminal.
    but I’m posting the below info. today. Has anyone watched this yet? and/or were aware of it? It’s just over an hr. long. I’ve stilll to watch the entire segment. Any comments?
    ReneMarie Stroke of Luck ~ We Go Pink! ~ July 23, 2016
    Rene Testa Adams
    Published on Jul 24, 2016
    Saturday, July 23rd, The Stroke of Luck Internet TV Show will be about Mary Kay Wagner Ash, Founder of Mary Kay Foundation/Beauty by Mary.
    Her company was founded in 1963, with an investment of $5,000 dollars selling a skin cream she purchased manufacturing rights to. She had a charming, spirited and one of a kind success story.
    In addition we will mention her book and her life published in 1981 that sold over a million copies, and her successful amazing company, and after suffering a stroke in 1996 the decline in her health as she passed away at her Dallas home November 22nd, 2001.
    ReneMarie will be doing a short segment on “What Is Time”.
    Our special guests today will be Rosemarie Pforr, Future Sales Director … Mary Kay, and Sales Director Donna Ludewig.
    Rosemarie Pforr joined Mary Kay in July 2005. She has earned numerous prizes during her Mary Kay career. Rosemarie has been a star consultant every quarter since joining the company and has been on the National Court of Sales three times, earning beautiful diamond rings. On August 2nd, Rosemarie will be receiving her third diamond ring at The Mary Kay Seminar in Dallas, Texas.
    Donna Ludewig joined Mary Kay in October 1998 and her unit “Donna’s Diamonds”, have earned ten free Mary Kay career cars. She has been on the National Court of Sales two times earning two diamond rings. In 2007, Donna led her unite to the circle of achievement with over $300,000 in retail sales. She was honored with the coveted National Miss Go-Give Award for July 2010.
    Mary Kay Foundation gives money to put an end to domestic violence for women and children and also contributes money for cancer research that affects women.
    During this show Rosemarie and Donna will discuss the Mary Kay Company and products.
    Rosemarie is a resident of Smithtown and Donna a resident of Miller Place.
    ReneMarie, Judy, and Nancy look forward to this exciting show about success. Tune in and join us at Stroke of Luck broadcasting from 1 pm to 2 pm.

  6. enorth

    I heard a SSD say there are more women in MK making $50K to $100K than in any other company. And, the company runs itself on 2% of the profits and the other 98% come back to consultants.

    So, MK consultants must be rolling in money 😉

    1. Lazy Gardens

      I heard a SSD say there are more women in MK making $50K to $100K than in any other company.

      Yes, but they are making it in their J.O.B. and spending it on the pink nightmare.

    2. BestDecision

      There’s no way to track every company in America and know how many women are making that much money. A study that size would take forever, nor could you get accurate results from private companies.

      Just like the old “MK is studied at Harvard”. Lies, lies, lies.

      1. enorth

        Same SSD, different video: “I work a max of 30 hours per week. I hold five parties a week and sell about $4,000 per month, and pocket half of that. I also get profit-sharing commissions from MK. MK sends 87 cents of every dollar to consultants. I was going to Hawaii, so I went on Facebook and looked for people there to facial, so I was able to write off the trip.”

        The point is, MLM recruiters will tell you anything you want to hear. Their claims are outlandish. Listen with a critical ear. Do a lot of research. Don’t believe everything you’re told. Don’t let them take advantage of you.

        1. BestDecision

          I hope that Director is well hidden because the IRS is going to get her for that one! Hawaii? For a business expense? How stupid is she…and then to actually say that in public!

  7. Still Breaking The Basic

    “I was told to take “personal responsibility” because “we can’t say my team this my team that.”

    Personal responsibility in MK is different than the real world. The red jacket tells the IBC to take personal responsibility. The director tells the red jacket to take personal responsibility. The NSD tells the director to take personal responsibility.

    It’s YOUR responsibility, not MINE that you’re failing in MK.

  8. BestDecision

    “The numbers don’t lie”, right? Seminar now has 7,000 going instead of the 15,000 we used to have. Now they’ve done away with the Pearl division, which means there’s only 4 groups of 7,000 going and not 5 of 15,000. I know someone living in Dallas who says you can visibly see the difference in the numbers of MK people around town in July, and that it’s far fewer than just a few years ago.

    One of the earliest wake-up calls I had was when they stopped using Hall A as an overflow area at Seminar. Where were all the people? Why were there now empty seats in the arena? My unit members were even noticing and asking me what was going on.

    MK people, you can try faking all that success and think you’re the “#1” seller of cosmetics, but the NUMBERS DON’T LIE. We all see fewer pink Cadillacs on the road, Texans see fewer people coming into town, and even 2-time Seminar attendees realize fewer people actually give a darn about the company.

    The party mode is over and outdated, and so is MK. Sephora kicks up dust in your face, and YouTubers teach us all we need to know about applying makeup. Goodbye!

  9. Kiki

    I’m just glad I was unsuccessful with recruiting. The more I read the more I realize that the reason why I struggled with recruiting is because I couldn’t lie. The most I came to fudging is using the excuse that I was still a young consultant. I instead used my director’s numbers as success. The only thing is, she drives the pink caddy but I haven’t seen her name in any of the Applause magazines. So what does that say of her success?

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