Are You Following the Mary Kay Motto? These National Sales Directors Say You Shouldn’t!

god-first-mary-kayWritten by The Scribbler

Why did you join Mary Kay? Are you one of the women who joined because you were looking for a chance to get away from a work week that rivaled that of a Hebrew slave and a prickly boss that made Pharaoh look like a kindly grandmother? Maybe you were looking forward to finally being able to enjoy a holiday where you didn’t have to keep your Career switch flipped to the “on” position, or perhaps you were eager to enjoy a relaxing 4th of July around a smoky grill with food, drink, and plenty of laughing with family and friends. Well, rejoice, dear consultant, because isn’t that how priorities get ranked in Mary Kay according to the company motto?  “God First, Family Second, Career Third!”   And it’s Independence Day, so that means it’s time to put Family Second and Career so far Third that you’re like, “Booking? Pfft; only thing I’m booking today is an overloaded cheeseburger and a cold beer.”

That being said, did you know that there are National Sales Directors in Mary Kay who do not want consultants and directors to put their Families Second and Careers Third? I know it’s hard to believe, but there are top leaders in the company who regularly promote negativity by attempting to guilt women like you into shunning holidays and family time in favor of working their businesses. I’ve listed a few of these leaders here, and as you read their words, ask yourself, “Is ignoring the Mary Kay motto (and going against what Mary Kay Ash wanted for her consultants) the right thing to do?   Is it smart to listen to people who tell me that work is more important than my family?”

NSD Linda Toupin

“We are 36 hours out from the end of our MK year…your NEW MK year starts NOW, not AFTER the 4th of JULY. It doesn’t take that long to grill a hamburger…that is the thinking that created your frustration that you are currently experiencing.”   (From Toupin’s Facebook status, 29 June 2014)

As a Mary Kay consultant, it’s helpful to remember that you do not answer to ANY director or NSD, period. NSDs and directors do not write your paychecks, give you annual performance reviews, tell you when you can take a holiday off, or function as your boss.   When NSD Toupin attempts to guilt consultants into putting career first by saying, “Oh, you’re experiencing frustration because you took a few days off (as is your right as an independent consultant) to spend with family,” it shows that NSD Toupin has clearly forgotten what it means to follow the Mary Kay motto.

NSD Karen Piro:

“You can bake cookies and send Christmas cards that no one will remember, or you can earn the use of a Cadillac, and everyone will remember.” (From Applause Magazine, June 2009)

Wouldn’t you agree that earning a car is not more important than baking cookies with your children/grandchildren?   When I bought a new car back in 2009, my daughter poked her head through the sunroof, said “Wow!” and never complimented the car again. She has, however, repeatedly recalled how we once made a fake fire out of paper towel tubes and red tissue paper and pretended to camp around it. Moral: Baking cookies and sending Christmas cards is family. Earning a car is career. Family Second, Career Third.

NSD Cyndee Gress:

“…let the things that you enjoy about the holidays…be a reward for the work that you’ve done….I get to bake the cookies because I did my work today.” (From a December 2012 Gress Director’s call)

I understand that many women go to their jobs for 8-12 hours and then come home and hang with their family. I get that. But Mary Kay claims to be different, remember? Your schedule, your rules, you’re the boss! So what’s a consultant to think when she hears a guest director on one of Gress’ conference calls go, “I went to the mall, and as I’m shopping for the holiday, I have samples in my bag…I go out only when it’s after 10:00 at night…”   If NSD Gress says that baking cookies (which counts as family time) should be a reward for doing Mary Kay, when do you get to claim that reward if you’re working your business at 10pm? Do you ever get to claim it, particularly in June and July when everyone’s feverishly trying to hit their ordering quotas?  Gress needs a gentle reminder that her company motto says “Family Second, Career Third,” not “Career First, Then Win Time With Your Loved Ones Later.”

NSD Pamela Shaw:

“The “God, Family, Career” flag has been pulled by many a former consultant and director who really just didn’t want to discipline herself…” (From NSD Shaw’s training document titled, “Are You Taking the Time?”)

Let’s pretend you’re a brand-new consultant. In one of NSD Shaw’s recruiting interview documents, she says, “Women come into Mary Kay for a variety of reasons. Which of the following would be important to you?” The very first choice is “Company Philosophy: God First, Family Second, Career Third…” With today being Independence Day and all (and because you’re a woman of integrity), let’s say you decide to abide by the company philosophy, put your Family Second/Career Third, and enjoy the whole day chilling by the pool, eating watermelon, and chatting with your neighbors about everything EXCEPT Mary Kay. You can’t toss around a beach ball at your job, right? Then why would it be okay to toss around a datebook at the family picnic? Work is work, play is play, and it’s a healthy practice to not allow one to bleed into the other; that’s called having balance. According to NSD Shaw, however, making the choice to create that balance in your life means that you don’t want to discipline yourself.  Except that you are disciplining yourself; if you’re spending quality time with family and friends without trying to book, recruit, or sell to them, it means you’re keeping Career Third squarely where it belongs.  You know what that means, right?  It means (as you’ve seen throughout this article) that you’re better at walking out the tenets of the company motto than some NSDs are.  You go, girl!

From all of us here at Pink Truth to you and your precious family, we encourage you to take today off and enjoy your Independence Day guiltless and Mary Kay-free! Now go soak up the sun and have a Happy 4th of July!

18 Comments

  1. BestDecision

    And fewer Million Dollar Directors this year than ever. Only 5 on the trip when there’s usually 3 times that amount. NSDs can lecture all day about how much success is happening and how it’s OUR fault we’re not moving anywhere, but the truth is evident right there. Pictures don’t lie, nor do all the examples on here of how betrayed and wronged people have been. Glad to be out!

  2. Timewiser

    My senior director chastised me many times for not being willing to get a full time nanny for my young children. She quoted Karen Piro many times saying “Your kids don’t need you when they are young. They need you when they are teenagers. Work now while they are young, they won’t miss you.” That never settled well with me and was the beginning of the end for me.
    Oh and not to mention that I was made to believe that I needed to divorce my husband when he got upset with me for leaving him at home sick with the 3 kids to go to Leadership because I would be raked across the coals if I didn’t. He just doesn’t support you and your business. You can’t do this business with an unsupportive husband.
    Ugh.

    1. Lazy Gardens

      She quoted Karen Piro many times saying “Your kids don’t need you when they are young. They need you when they are teenagers. Work now while they are young, they won’t miss you.”

      You know … if you get them off to a good start as toddlers and children, they won’t need you to bail them out of jail as teenagers. You won’t need to be going to those conferences to find out why the kid is failing sophomore English … because you were there early in life for instilling good habits.

    2. NoMaryKayForMe

      “Your kids don’t need you when they are young. They need you when they are teenagers. Work now while they are young, they won’t miss you.”

      In addition to being a completely false statement, it is so disgusting. I can better bet if you are ignoring your children when they are young, you will be busy when they are teenagers, but not in a positive busy way.

    3. GrumpyMillennial

      “Your kids don’t need you when they are young. They need you when they are teenagers. Work now while they are young, they won’t miss you.”

      Or in my case. Work when they’re young and when they’re a teenager they’ll take the first opportunity to escape and won’t look back. I was lucky, my opportunity to escape was a good one, a safe one.

  3. pinkpeace

    As a former director, the worst was having MK on the brain 24/7. A consultant generally has better work/life balance because she’s probably not relying on Mary Kay income to keep the family going. But directors are strongly urged to quit any outside jobs to concentrate on Mary Kay 100%.

    The result? Even when I DID take family time, it was a constant struggle to be in the moment with my kids. The 30th of the month always loomed large, and I was constantly on alert for new booking and recruiting opportunities.

    There is no such thing as a relaxing vacation with the family. If you’re not trolling for leads, you’re checking production or emailing your consultants. I love, love, love my non-Mary Kay life, because my time is MY time, and I can truly practice “faith, family, career.”

    1. BestDecision

      So true! Wonder how many Directlts will be neglecting their kids’ trick or treating on Halloween because it’ll be month-end?

      I love that we’re not giving up basements for Fall Retreats or guest events and that our weeknights and vacations are entirely OURS!

  4. cindylu

    I never regretted returning product. I did feel strange not thinking about MK 24/7. My SD once said that working her MK career was better than any family trip or event. I honestly feel sorry for the children of these phoney directors and NSD’s. How embarrassing that your mom warm stalks total strangers everywhere, how sad that teachers or other gifts are MK related. How creepy are those Halloween MK samples given to trick or treaters. Maybe wearing one of those original MK wigs could constitute as a costume. The home taken over by increasingly yellowed products. After I left MK it was like I was in withdrawal. I didn’t miss the meetings. I did miss some of my former IBC’s. The shunning certainly was special. Sad that all those empowering quotes and slogans are laughable cons. All MK gives is scary PTSD memories, financial abuse and nothing to put on a real resume.

  5. LoveMeSomeSephora

    I was cleaning out some leftover crap and its down to 2 boxes. A year ago I would not have considered the thought of quitting, now those 2 boxes are just trash.

    I was in the Goodwill today and the sight I saw….a showcase bag hanging for sale with many other donated purses, etc. Someone else quit too……

  6. BestDecision

    The November Applause is out, and it’s VERY revealing. There were only 10 units nationwide that added 20 or more new Consultants in July. 10! Almost HALF of the Top 100 units in retail production weren’t even Cadillac level. The lowest unit, which was about where 25% of them were, did between $12-13,000 wholesale. Pam Shaw is listed as the #4 NSD in the country with just a $40,000 July check. And get this–MK is now charging $8 for 12 hand cream samplers. Just a few years ago, they were about $3, maybe $4.

    Just like many NSDs teach, “the numbers don’t lie”. Very, very true. The ship is sinking!

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