Demoting Your Husband From “Leader” To “Mary Kay Cadillac Coach”

pink-cadillac-coachWritten by The Scribbler

What is a husband’s place in the Mary Kay venture? Should he stand quietly by, allowing his wife to do whatever he wants with his family’s finances? Should he be actively involved in running the Mary Kay “business”? Or should he just be a cheerleader?

I pondered whether or not this article would offend our readers; after all, it liberally uses the “S” word (submission), questions Mary Kay teachings, and looks to the Bible for clarification on such.  I decided to press onward; after all, if you’re an active MKer out there reading this, you’ve probably heard very offensive insinuations that you’re not a proper adult (i.e. a “Big Girl”) because you haven’t (insert task here).  If you can tolerate that kind of abuse, then you’re a strong individual and will come away even stronger after having read this piece.

For starters, please take a look with me at Ephesians 5:22-23; let’s see what the Word says about the roles of husbands and wives:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…”

Heard that click-click-clacking noise?  That’s the sound of thousands of lipstick tubes being hurled at computer screens in protest.  The concept of submission isn’t a popular one, but let me reassure you that it’s not some big, scary proclamation charging women to wear heels, pearls, and an ankle chain connected to the stove.  Submission is simply an establishment of order.

When God created woman, Adam didn’t rub his chin and mutter slyly, “Sweet, someone to brew me up some PBR!”  He said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…”  He immediately acknowledged that his wife was an inseparable part of him.  That act, my friends, speaks volumes.

Since the Bible presents the chain of command as God – Husband – Wife, do Mary Kay teachings reflect that?  Let’s peek at our Training Document of the Day, the “Mary Kay Husband Job Description.”  Of special interest is the document’s accompanying graphic:  a picture of Superman with the words, “Mary Kay Cadillac Coach” skewed across his chest.  Heads up, Wonder Woman – Lois Lane’s in DIQ and she’s headed this way!

Help out at home in any way you can to free up time for her to do only what she can do, to include groceries chauffeuring kids, coordinating logistics, household chores, preparing meals, and parenting (formerly known as babysitting).

Being a full-time “Goth” (Guardian of the Home), I can tell you that this list encompasses the bulk of my job description.  The domestic tasks above are supposed to be the things only the wife can do.  But now that the wife is in Mary Kay, the husband has shouldered the wife’s household responsibilities plus whatever job he is presently functioning in – he’s essentially working two jobs!  In addition, the husband is also to do the following:

  • Attend meetings
  • Maintain office equipment
  • Pass out her business cards and catalogs; special invitations
  • Develop financial strategies
  • Help with inventory of product and placing orders
  • Promote her business to other husbands and friends
  • Be her hero – help carry any bags into and out of the house as often as humanely possible
  • Learn InTouch or hire someone; don’t burden her with having to learn it. (huh??)

Here’s what I don’t understand.  If your recruiter followed her scripts, she gave you the impression that it’s all about you:  the money, the recognition, the self-improvement, the friends you’ll make – Mary Kay will provide it all!  If it wasn’t about you, the recruiter wouldn’t have dove headfirst into her purse for her “Overcoming Objections” flashcards the second you said, “I have to discuss this with my husband first.”

Once a woman signs the pink dotted line, however, suddenly the husband goes from the “Domineering Dolt Whose Approval You Can do Without,” to someone who’s suddenly welcome and needed.  Don’t you find it painfully ironic that even though recruiting schpiels promise empowerment to women, the menfolk are still called upon to carry bags, learn computer programs, and change out printer cartridges?  Big girls, indeed.

Reminds me of a former flight chief I served under while I was active duty.  This gentleman made some poor life choices, and as a result, he could no longer lead the flight.  Because of his rank, he couldn’t be given a duty generally reserved for lower-ranking airmen, such as guarding the base gate – so what happened?   A position was made up for him to serve in.  It had no real purpose and consisted mainly of busywork, but it had a fancy-sounding title like, “Non-Commissioned Officer of Logistics.”  Just like “Mary Kay Cadillac Coach.”  Same loss of authority, same fancy-sounding title, and the same busywork!

Husbands, have you felt as if you’ve been trod on by a company who wants to steal your birthright – your God-given authority as the leader in the home – and left you a hunk of bread and some lentil soup in its place?  If Mary Kay has engulfed your relationship with your wife, your home, your finances, then it is time for you to rise up and reclaim what God has placed within your care.

Cut up the credit cards, speak with a pastor, go out for pizza one night with other MK husbands and start asking some hard questions – just start somewhere.  If a rattlesnake got into your home and was taking pot shots at your wife’s legs, would you let it be?  Or would you take steps to get the thing out of your house because you knew it had the potential to poison your wife?

Wives, I implore you not to let a so-called opportunity come between you and the man that you love, no matter what it promises.  If you have, I hope you will see Mary Kay as the raunchy, glitzy, whirlwind fling that it is compared to the solid relationship God intended you to share with your husband.  If you’re striving to keep God first in your life, do it by honoring the position that God has ordained for him from the start, not by allowing a recruiter to convince you that his position is rightfully yours.


  1. Lazy Gardens

    Can you imagine if a job opening in “Corporate America” expected the wife to do all this WITH NO PAY!

    Attend meetings
    Maintain office equipment
    Pass out business cards and catalogs
    Help with inventory of product and placing orders
    Promote the business to other husbands and friends
    Do the computer work

  2. RiaJaize

    While I’m not much for the leadership/submission form of marriage (tried that, got burned, got counseling, reformatted marriage), I do take exception to the idea of an “HQ” that tells a husband how to support his wife. This attitude assumes either that he won’t naturally do those things, or that for some reason he wants to OBJECT to MK instead of help it.

    MK wants to appeal to the husband’s idea that the wife is The Little Woman in need of his help, not a businesswoman who might threaten his status — a notion that probably flew well in 1963 but is increasingly outdated now.

  3. BestDecision

    If the business worked as they say it does, you’d not have to convince a husband to help. He’d willingly and swiftly jump in to keep those big checks coming!

  4. PinkBubblePopped

    I just want to point out that the next part of the chapter calls on men to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, even unto death. I am NOT taking up for MK! But the way my husband and I read this is that we all have our place and our roles. One doesn’t work without the other. My husband’s unselfish love for me is part of how I can have so much trust in him. I don’t submit to him in the sense of rolling over for him to wipe his feet on my back. But I also recognize and appreciate his contributions to our marriage, our home, and our life. This is from direct counsel I got from out priest. It’s what works for us. I understand how threatening this would be to an MK recruiter. It’s a bond which has held us together for nearly 10 years! I get how it’s their “job” to get between a married couple and essentially pit her against him and it’s heartbreaking. I send my love and support to anyone working to rebuild after MK inserted itself into a marriage.

  5. MKNeophyte

    The problem in this particular case isn’t Mary Kay. The problem is the patriarchal religious misogyny that denies women financial independence and agency over their own lives to begin with. No wonder any way out would be appealing, even if it is a scam.

    1. MLM Radar

      ‘Scuse me? You want to use religion to excuse short-sighted personal irresponsibility? Sorry, not buying it. That’s a cop-out.

      I know of some marriages where a control-freak husband figuratively beats his wife over the head with his self-serving interpretation of scripture. And I’m sure there are some isolated independent congregations which support that. Somewhere.

      But I certainly don’t know of any mainstream American religions that embrace patriarchal religious misogyny. If you think otherwise, you need to learn a bit more about what those religions really teach, and not just spew about what you think they teach.

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