At Whose Expense?

Written by NoEscape

In Mary Kay we are told to take short term sacrifices for long term gains. But at whose expense? We are told to be women who find a way and make a way. But at whose expense? We are told to share this “opportunity” with everyone, never prejudge. But at whose expense?

We are crafted into believing that we really do want to be directors, that we LOVE that pink caddy, and our lifetime goal and dream is to become that all-glorified NSD. But at whose expense? We are told we are in business for ourselves but not by ourselves. Someone will be there for us every step of the way. But at whose expense? That we can’t sell from an empty wagon. That the product sells itself. We need to stock up on certain products. But at whose expense?

We hear all those beautiful and heartfelt stories of NSDs writing a single check to pay for their children’s college educations. But at whose expense? How the NSD gave her own mother the fairy tale vacation and dream home of her choice. That this is really the “golden” opportunity. But at whose expense?

So I ask again, “At whose expense?”

How about the expense of the marriages strained or torn apart because of the extra financial stress of paying off the ever increasing MK debt? The mothers who are missing so much of their children’s lives because they are making “short term sacrifices for long term gains.” The guilt associated with not making those phone calls or warm chattering that really sharp lady in the store. The guilt of not getting that recruit and letting your director or DIQ down. She was COUNTING on you!

Ever questioning yourself because it’s just not happening for you, but there’s success everywhere around you. You ask what’s wrong with you. Did you say the wrong thing? Are you not “sharp” enough? Slowly your self-esteem drops while you put on this facade of MK perfection. “It’s all in the numbers. It’s a numbers game,” you are told. But you wonder just how many numbers (ie. women) you will really have to go through and how much time you will really have to put into this to make it work.

As you slowly climb up the ladder of “success”, you feel more like a failure every step of the way. You are losing yourself, the real you, and rattle of script after script without really listening. You don’t think, you have memorized all the scripts. You leave a trail of heart-broken, messed up women in your wake who have thousands of dollars of products sitting there, without a penny going to help their families, just like you. Yet you fail to see the truth, yet.

Then the dawn comes. As your dusty discontinued products grow with an alarming speed, you look at your credit card statement with a sinking heart. You realize that you cannot keep up without putting even more of a financial strain on your family. You think back on all your team members and their situations. You are guilt ridden for getting them into the same mess you have gotten yourself into.

Suddenly, you discover answers to questions you were too afraid to ask, things make sense with MK that never seemed right, things that seemed too good to be true. The blinders are coming off. You realize what the MK opportunity has truly cost, and if you don’t get out now, you will lose everything you hold dear and take more women with you.

So I ask one more time, “But at whose expense?”


  1. Anynomous

    I started my business 11 months ago, became a director 3 months ago as well as earned my “free” car. Today I quit. My debut is next week with over 200 guest attending. I came back from from leadership a couple weeks ago and just thought, what the hell am I doing??? I’m in a cult, I’ve sacrificed everything this past year. My family time, my friends, my happiness. My everything. My world. I am so free right now: this company has put me 9k in debt and I’ve lost the past year with my small children. I got lost in chasing that carrot that is constantly dangled in front of you. Manipulated into thinking that being a good mom meant leaving them in tears so I could go change women’s life which in turn just put them all in debt. At leadership an NSD stood up on that stage and said only share positivity with your husband never the negative in your life?? WTF? What kind of marriage is that? He is my partner, I share The good and bad with my husband because he is my everything. They say that because our husbands are not brain washed and can actually talk some sense into us. Im guilty of getting caught up in the designer purses and jewelry which is someone I have never been. End of story I may have lost a lot of money, but I will rebound. But they will never steal another moment of my life. I’m taking my power back.

    1. ran4fun

      Anynomous, I’m so proud of you for coming out of the fog! Your story sound so similar to my loved one, except she still is fogged. (I hoped over 10K of debt would wake her up, but her pink blinders are still on.)

      You are smart, brave and strong! You still have 1 month to return your initial inventory for 90%. Returning all your unsold product will help with your debt.

      Congratulations! 🙂

    2. BestDecision

      I sat at Leadership Conference and saw egos, people boasting they were “making an executive income”, faking sisterhood and friendship, and abusing God left & right. It was sickening, and I no longer wanted to be a part of it. I had just debuted Offspring Directors, was driving a Cadillac, had already wrapped up another unit club. I was sick of the company ignoring the cheating that was going on, and I was sick of trying to push an opportunity that wasn’t fulfilling. I gave up countless weeknights and weekends to recruit new unit members, hold debuts, hold meetings, and teach them how to sell. Customers were becoming more demanding than ever, and the quality of customers and members of the sales force was dropping dramatically (house slippers at Seminar!).

      I was tired of trying to motivate people. I was exhausted of being told it was “up to me”, that I needed to read ANOTHER self-help book, that I needed to Gold Medal again and again. Why is it always our fault and not the company, the market, etc.?

      Then, they updated the NIQ requirements, which told me cheating and buying the way to NSD was an epidemic. Why would I go through all that work and heartache to have NO GUARANTEE I’d remain in that position? The hamster wheel was already exhausting as a Director. Now they want us to keep running as an NSD?!

      Congratulations for being wise and getting out now. I’ve not regretted it once.

    3. Cindylu

      Don’t be too hard on yourself. I look back on the time lost with my children and I regretted that too. MK literally made me ill which saved me from the pink nightmare. As to my husband he wanted me out. He was right and saw through the girl rah rah nonsense. No one in my unit was making a dime. Including our SD after many years. Only the ice queen NSD and the MK heirs were profiting off the front loading of products. Yes I realized it was a cult and got out. I returned product and initially felt embarrassed at being deceived. Now thanks to PT individuals like you can be helped out. Return the product and enjoy your family.

  2. enorth

    “caught up in the designer purses and jewelry”

    Did you notice how MUCH jewelry and how MANY purses abound in Mary Kay Land? It’s because they cost MK — or your upline — just a few dollars, but are presented to you and the rest as valuable rewards.

    One day you wake up and find your closet is overflowing with tote-bags, flimsy earrings, and cheap bangle-bracelets that say, “Eat dessert first.” But you have no money to pay your electric bill.

  3. Did Pink

    Glad you woke up. Now box up all that inventory and return it. Get some of that $$ back. IF you have the purses, sell on ebay. Get your $ and life back. Understand you have a year which your recruits can return as well.

    1. BestDecision

      The purses were horrific! Those nasty lipstick print ones from the vendors in Dallas. And the knockoff Michael Kors and Coach bags.

      Then there were the “Pink Ice” and J-Lo rings. (I’m ashamed to admit I promoted both as a Director.)

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