Written by The Scribbler
“Believe in your ability to create what you want and know that you deserve to have it…abundance is God’s plan for us.” EESSD Melinda Balling
“Sooner or later, I always get everything I really want.” NSD Luella Gunter
“I deserve the best life has to offer and I claim my share now.” – Common affirmation
The Mary Kay upline teaching of “You deserve it!” is more widespread than someone on the Hollywood Butter-and-Bacon Milkshake diet. It’s a justifier, as in “I frontloaded 10 women with Emerald star orders this month, therefore I deserve to go buy myself a new soul from Target. On second thought, scratch Target; my credit score is -24. What time does Dollar Tree close?”
We know that Mary Kay claims to be about enriching women’s lives, but let’s face it; obtaining wealth makes up about 98% of that enrichment. If an IBC has a down day in MK, she’s not advised to go take a walk with her children or soak up the sun on the back porch; she’s advised to “Think about the suit, the big paychecks, the Cadillac, and the diamonds.” It’s all about the stuff. Why is that? Why put such a heavy emphasis on what one supposedly deserves to have?
“Sociologists tell us that people often spend their money…to buy things that enhance their sense of self-esteem and to project the “right” image so that they’ll be accepted and loved,” says Larry Burkett in his book Creating Your First Financial Plan. Is it possible that a major way of gaining self-esteem in Mary Kay means looking (and spending) like an NSD, otherwise known as “Faking it until you make it?”
Here’s a wild thought: Do you think large inventory purchases might fall into that category? Do IBCs ever make inventory purchases so they’ll be “accepted and loved?” Mind you, if you need to order because you sold enough foundation this week to supply a Kabuki troupe through 2012, good for you! But if you’re ordering product because your director says that you’re “only” $600 away from earning yourself a quick jaunt across a stage, it’d do you a world o’ good to rethink your motivations. As Pastor Craig Groeschel put it in his book Confessions of a Pastor: “We go into debt buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t even like!”
There’s nothing wrong with having dreams of a larger home or a car that doesn’t have a hole in the floor; but when the “I deserve it!” mentality muscles itself onto the throne of your life and props its feet up on the backs of your husband and children, it’s time to do some “negative” (i.e. ponder a view that does not glorify MK) thinking.
NSD advice like “Surround yourself with your goals – be obsessed with it!” isn’t so much for you as it is for them. If you’re obsessed with getting into a red jacket, driving a pink car, and living in a house that beats the square footage of the Death Star by eight bathrooms, that pretty much guarantees fat commission checks for the folks camping atop Pyramid Peak.
If you’re not obsessed with MK goals, however (i.e. staying content as Personal Use or only ordering what you need when you need it) your NSD’s going to have to axe the catered dinners courtesy of Le Noseinzeaire and enjoy frozen White Castles instead, the poor dear. Do “lowly” IBCs really hold that much power? You better bee-lieve it, buster.
A phrase commonly heard in MK is that “Women love choices!” You’re no exception. You have the choice to call out your upline’s materialistic motivations, turn your back on them, and encourage your peers to do likewise. You have the choice to refuse to tie your self-worth to a suit, a car, or a low-grade gemstone. And you have the choice to make business decisions that are for you alone.
For some, that could mean returning unsold product and boldly choosing a fresh path that doesn’t involve Mary Kay. For others, it could mean striving to focus on honest sales and good customer service. And for some women, it could mean something as simple as allowing oneself to question an aspect of MK and subsequently ask a fellow IBC if she ever felt likewise.
Make a wise choice today, girlfriend. You deserve it.