The “Sometimes” Success Scam – A Letter From Your De-Fogged Director

Written by Raisinberry

How do I explain all this? I know I do not have a leg to stand on. I was your Director. You trusted me. Just like I trusted those above me. And even though I didn’t buy into all the hype, “hook, line and sinker”… I did say the things I was taught to say.

Truth is, I did know that what you ordered was not what you sold. I knew because I saw you sitting every week during scoreboard, or only standing up intermittently for sales, so yes, I knew your orders never ever matched your retail sales results. I didn’t stop you. I knew I had to get orders. I looked the other way. I thought, maybe it will all work out. Maybe we all really could make it to the top! Some women really do make it! Sometimes it really does work!

I believed that, because I was taught that… and also because I saw success happen! I did! I really did! I knew that sometimes, while warm booking, a sharp recruit gets signed who changes everything. I knew that sometimes, lots of boutique booth activity pays off or a great referral comes through and sometimes you get a great customer turned hostess that causes many shows to happen. Since I never knew when the moment would be that you would get that super hostess, or super recruit, I had to stay positive and keep encouraging you! I have seen this business turn on a dime! {readmore}

I know, that not quitting sometimes produces a yes on the phone… and a yes leads to more calls and more yeses… sometimes.

And because I know this, I could never say that MK didn’t work… because sometimes IT DOES WORK. What I didn’t realize is that “SOMETIMES” is never enough times to make a viable business… but it is enough times to make uplines sell you on the fact that it could.

The unbee-lievable strategy of Mary Kay is knowing that SOMETIMES it will work, and that you will always wander back in your mind to the “day” when you had the $600 class… the $1100 week, the signed recruit… and you will overlook your lack of daily, weekly or monthly results… for the prize to be attained…”someday”. After all- you did it once before, you can do it again!

My job was, to keep hope alive for you. My NSD’s job was to keep hope alive for me. Positive attitudes and enthusiasm was what we sell, because enthusiasm will always get a better result than a “neutral” or “dead” frame of mind. You and I had a chance if we just stayed positive!

The sad truth is that being “positive” really does not cause the universe to align in your direction… no matter what pop culture tells you. It only makes you “feel” better. When all the believing does not cause “achieving”, if you believe Mary Kay mentors, you are scarred, left with no self esteem, thinking you never measured up, didn’t have faith, or worse, didn’t deserve success. Becoming a de-fogged Director means you suddenly realize how “anti-women” this company really is! It is astounding! And painful! And utterly contrary to what you were programmed to believe.

A company and system and sales management force that KNOWS you are ordering product over and over, by a system of manipulated and contrived benchmarks that they themselves have created, that have nothing to do with retail sales success, is ABUSING YOU. And worse yet, because it is not an “accident”, it is a planned scheme, that operates under the idea that since you are a woman hungry for praise and recognition, you will do just about anything to jump through those hoops. They are counting on it.

We were counting on it and pathetically, never realized we too were being “handled.”

All we had to do was wait for that “sometime,” when you had a great outcome and you would sell yourself, and then hype and events, and other people’s “sometimes” would testify to the fact that if you just never quit, you would make it. But 340 days of struggle and discouragement, no activity or negative activity never seem to surpass 25 days of “sometimes.”

We lived on, promoted, and celebrated those 10, 15, or 25 times in a year that something decent happened in your business, like a lipstick gloss add-on, an internet order, a good week, a new recruit. We pushed you up the career path, until you hit the wall, or your cards maxed, and watched you regroup… and waited for another event where you could get around other people’s “sometimes” and Bee-lieve again. And the pink fog truth is that is exactly what we did as well.

How sick it is that we believed in the selling of hope, that sounds so positive and wonderful and noble, only to suppress the truth that we personally had exhausted ourselves looking for the magic solution to a sustainable Mary Kay Business. It never ends. You will forever lose what you have built. There is no firm foundation under a Mary Kay opportunity unless you are callous to the plight of the masses of recruited women.

This Multi-level marketing pyramid “opportunity” DEPENDS on large frontloaded orders of product, and the MK SYSTEM will keep further re-ordering in place, capitalizing on women’s need for recognition. MLM requires masses of recruited failures that churn in and out because it is IMPOSSIBLE to have that much consultant competition. You are supposed to quit, leaving all those orders in tact, so you don’t close the door permanently by returning it.

With 30 to 40,000 recruits a month, and 40,000 quitting a month , and over 45 years doing this… just how many women could be sustained at the NSD level? The consultant IS the customer, and as long as no one knew the truth, Mary Kay could continue to persuade the blind, naïve and hopeful of heart.

I never realized what was under all this and like you, I believed. An occasional “win” should not make us blind to the reality of culminating severe and sometimes irreversible losses. “Sometimes” is exploited in Mary Kay, and so often every Director and DIQ continues on in the hopes that “sometime” in the future they will make enough money to pay down their debt, be able to be with their children, retire their husband, do something good with their resources, all the while drowning in the reality of the opposite! Because SOMETIME, it will all be okay!

How tragic that in Mary Kay, the selling of hope is a destructive ruse that locks women into a perpetual fog, whispering platitudes and sayings and never evaluating the MAJORITY of the days where losses, lies, manipulations, expenditures, denial and doubt rear their ugly heads. It is the extremely rare woman who can build a consistently successful cosmetics business without becoming an annoyance and nuisance to her “circle.” And the ones who prize well balanced honest approaches and good service will not have consistency or volume. Their business will be hit and miss, all their days. The business model and method is anti-retail. And Mary Kay’s own documents prove it.

Defogged Directors are asking for your forgiveness because we are no longer selling “sometime.” We refuse to let those who speak the facts be labeled “negative” or worse, allow the facts to be kept from you. We want to look at the entire picture and evaluate whether we can promote the selling of “morsels” of success, wrapped in hope at the expense of your self esteem, finances, marriages, family life, and integrity. Or at the expense of our own.

We can not. We refuse to abuse women with “hope,” denying the reality of hundreds and thousands of consultants who have signed on with us over many years. A woman who loves other women and shares their REAL HOPE for themselves and their families would never take advantage of them. Especially when the results we pointed out to you… the “sometimes” that worked for other Units and Other Directors , were 9 times out of ten, based on fraud, anyway!

“Sometimes,” your only hope, is solely based on truth.


  1. saw the pink light

    Bravo !! Well stated.
    One of the best articles I’ve read on this site. Thank you!
    I was in MK for about 2 years, never made it past the “beauty consultant” stage. Continually took money out of my 401K for inventory. (dumb, huh?). Thinking of the “sometime” it would all pay off ! This site is a sanity saver. Thanks again.

  2. BestDecision

    For 11 women, it did work this last year. Only 11 out of thousands made at least $325,000 in commissions (Inner Circle NSDs). 11! So, sure, it works SOMETIMES. But, you have a much better chance in Vegas at the tables or machines than you ever will in MK.

    And let’s not forget that was their gross income. After taxes, they would’ve had only $243,000 to then subtract their expenses from. And, as Inner Circle NSDs, you can bet they had staff they paid.

    This is the only thing people with a true business mindset ever need to read. Others…well, they’re not willing to open their eyes and think like a businesswoman.

    So, just MAYBE they made that elusive “executive income” claim we were all taught to say.

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