Breathing Again After Mary Kay

Written by SuzyQ

I used to look forward to Labor Day as a “real” excuse NOT to call potential models, and NOT have to do my Monday meeting. In my Mary Kay days, I would  be exhausted from the end of the month. At the end of each month, I would be praying for the month to turn around, recruiting like crazy, warm chatting, doing phone interviews, promoting end of the year contests, making new flyers and newsletters, emailing like crazy, and oh yes, praying for the month to turn around.

Although we were still early in the seminar year, I was worried that I was not going to meet the goal AGAIN this year. One more year in nosebleed at Seminar, one more year of not living up to my potential, one more time across the nsd awards banquet stage as a non-top director, one more year with a unit of non-worker bees.

But, that was okay so long as I could look at myself in the mirror and know for certain at least I had done my part. There was constant fear, always there, sometimes palpable, and sometimes just a sensation I tried to ignore. Fear that I was not doing all I could, I was not working my business full circle, I was not an effective leader, I was letting everyone down, and I was giving God nothing to bless in my business, fear that I could not pay my bills.

As directors, our ability to pay our bills depends a lot on you, dear consultants. And when you don’t order, we don’t have commission checks. We have our own sales of course, but many times, we are so busy trying to recruit (easier money) that we tend to neglect our personal businesses, and $100 here and there doesn’t cut it. And we are busy. Busy busy busy. Always on the go, always looking for those sharp women we asked God to put in our path. The stress is incredible. Checking production, figuring out our checks, seeing if it comes close to matching our bills, continuing to pray. Looking at our sister BFF directors and wonder how they do it, and why can’t we?

The end of the month was “exciting.” Kind of. Staying by the phone or the computer, or meeting a new consultant on the last day for the inventory talk and hoping she had a credit card with some room. By the last day, or even the last week, we knew exactly how many newbies it would take, and what their inventory total would need to be to get a “decent” check. But not really exciting, because most of the time we’d never make that goal.

I wonder if there are any directors out there who face the end of the month and honestly ask themselves if the inventory decision is in their best interest or in the newbie’s best interest. Probably not, because it’s hard to sell from an empty wagon, and we certainly don’t want to set someone up for failure. Or that’s what we tell ourselves, anyway.

As I look back, I wonder, too, about the directors in my area who have been in Mary Kay for 25, 30, 35 years. They are not nsd’s and some are too old to even try anymore. They seem to get stuck at FESD or ESD. They have been in and out of cars and unit clubs. They have had units of 50 and 250, and they carry on. Their blouse colors change frequently as the directors in their downline come and go during the year. Year after year after year.

The process of churning goes on and on, over and over and over. When I mentioned this futility to a friend, she suggested that these women must just really like being in Mary Kay. That is probably true, and I also think they must have other resources available to “help” with the not so good months, not so large units, and inevitable downturns.

So, Labor Day is very different for me after Mary Kay. Soon after I quit, it felt like I had surgery without anesthesia. Now I think of Mary Kay without much emotion. And then there are little things, like not thinking about what kind of Mary Kay month I will have. A holiday is enjoyed as a break from everything, and there isn’t the drama, stress, and worry about how this time I will make my MK goals for the month. September will be just another month. One in which I can enjoy the days and the evenings, garden, read, bbq, anything I want or feel like doing. Like breathe.


  1. Jamming Berry

    Here’s what would have made Mary Kay so much easier for me: An “underground” trading post where I could swap my beige 2 mineral powder foundation ($20) for your night emmolient cream and oil-absorbing tissues ($20 total) so I could get the product I needed when I was A3 and couldn’t afford to pay full price + tax + $9.35 shipping. I realized there’s ebay, but it would be nice to be able to unload some product I know I would never sell to someone who maybe can sell it.

    So glad to get out.

  2. pinkvictim

    When I mentioned this futility to a friend, she suggested that these women must just really like being in Mary Kay.

    It’s not a matter of liking or not liking being in MKult when they have been victimized by undue extreme social influence.

  3. Formykids

    My soon to be ex wife is so mentally intoxicated with MK (10 yrs of brainwashing), she has said to me there is so much value for her personally that she doesn’t care if she makes money, yet all of her dream posters still have pictures of trips, cars, jewelry, and other costly items on them. If the sisterhood and ministry were the most meaningful part and the money doesn’t matter, why not reflect that on your dream poster………we all know why……one giant brainwashed fallacy…..pretty tragic really.

        1. MLM Radar

          Kaybot (def): Mary Kay Consultant, Director, or (sometimes) husband who mindlessly repeats Mary Kay slogans and platitudes without pausing to consider if they are realistic, true, or reasonable. Known to frequently spam Facebook pages proclaiming “I’m so excited!” Sometimes found posting short-sighted hate-mail on a website named Pink Truth, ending with “I’ll pray for you.” See synonyms Parrot and Digital Recorder.

      1. Formykids

        She says the usual MKbot responses about not making mmoney…….she hasn’t learned enough, her deserve level is not high enough, it’s her fault not MKs, i am blocking gods blessings for her, etc….

  4. raisinberry

    Nice, SuzyQ! Back in the day, August was HORRENDOUS. We drained every dime out of everyone back in June, and the OH SO FABULOUS Holiday Line, wasn’t!
    Anybody remember “pre-paks”?? LOL.

    Yeah month end was exciting! Just like pulling on a slot machine. Every call was another quarter, and every, “ok, I can Stretch” was a row of matching fruit.
    If you never evaluate what hooked you into this you will never be armed against a similar predator in the future. Woman! Know thyself!

  5. M

    SuzyQ, I’m glad you get to enjoy your holidays again. I thought I was stressed about $ as an IBC; I can’t imagine how much more stressful the SD side of things were at end-of-month!

  6. onelessSD

    I do not miss those days at all! I remember going to the Mall on Labor Day and warm chatting… ugh. It was when Timewise first came out. How pathetic was that?! I remember stressing out about month end, not knowing fully where the rest that was needed was coming from.. and my cc’s were already too high. Being calculated and figuring out which month I could miss.. and which ones I needed to maximize, etc. The worry & stress did it’s number on me… it was awful. Now… I enjoy my Labor Day weekends camping with friends, enjoying God’s creation and good fellowship with people who love me for who I am, not for what I bring to the table. Life is sooo good!

  7. BestDecision

    Any other Directors out there relieved to not wake up today to see who finished their Star? Or the hope hat you didn’t miss the 5 we had to have to start the year as a Star Director?

    So glad I don’t look at a calendar the same way anymore!

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