Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Dream

Written by Raisinberry

There is a very curious thing about being told by a Mary Kay NSD, not to let anyone “steal your dream”. When you dissect this directive, you begin to discover an elaborate straw man, used against you to misdirect objective thought.

The first time I heard it, I wondered how she knew what my so called dream was. The assumption was and is still today, that you want to be a Director. You want to make big money. You want prestige, recognition and to be somebody.

Soon we find ourselves buying into the assumption, and following along, even when we aren’t sure it is what we, ourselves want.

The second straw man being built is that someone is attempting to steal the dream from you. Even though no one is, the assumption is that a force is lurking, laying in wait, to crawl into your soul and snatch all emotional wherewithal to achieve your dream. This boogie man is stronger than you and your dream together. You must guard against anything that remotely smells like a dream stealer.That is how they keep women away from this website and questioning husbands.

It never dawns on them that a dream that any old boogie man can “steal” obviously means that it was not held tightly within our grasp. Secondly, if it can be stolen so easily, perhaps it was never “our” dream in the first place.

In my many years on the planet I have found that a real dream, born out of God given talents and abilities, survives the obstacles and negativity of others. How did they get us to believe that a chosen journey for life was so fragile a thing it couldn’t stand scrutiny or penetrating exposure?

Mary Kay knows that results are hard to come by, and facts are Mary Kay’s worst nightmare. Revealing the futility of a business that shifts and crumbles from a bad foundation means death to this pyramid… and millions of dollars in losses.

Your direct and truthful evaluation of your own results gets relabeled as a dream stealer activity, and the strawman argument is born. Did you set the goal to become a Director or was it thrust upon you? Did you set out to sit on the throne or was the entire event orchestrated to make you feel the want, in order to fill it? When you watched at Seminar as the Queen’s husband fawned over her and praised her, were your tears yanked from your heart in order to make you long to have the same validation from your own husband? This is the nature of manipulation. Heighten what is missing in your existence… where you fail, and what is your greatest need, and then answer it with the so called dream proposition.

With sites like Pink Truth, offering the “rest of the story”, NSDs are desperate to stop even the most casual reading of these stories. By characterizing us as dream stealers, they hope to support the notion that your dream is so fragile it can not stand an opposing view. The truth is, if the Mary Kay dream proposition fails you, it is not because a dream stealer took it, it is because it had no foundation, no place on which to build a permanent ladder to the goal. Because the bottom always falls out in mlm enterprises, your “dream” stays a “dream” and never becomes a reality. You are running a quest that eludes your grasp because little of what you have built, remains. If results reveal that you are spinning your wheels, and you verbalize that, the strawman argument will come out in full force, with your NSD reminding you that someone is trying to discourage you, and must be defeated.

But what if someone is trying to reach you?

Success all by itself will hold a dream steady. Like mice in Skinner’s box, if we reinforce the good results, we pursue the same stimulus and repeat the successful activity. As long as your dream is really what you want, and passion is placed behind that decision, no obstacle, real or straw can derail that pursuit. Certainly not some anonymous website.

Don’t let anyone steal your dream is code for not facing the reality of your business. 
You are losing money wholesale, you are losing friends and you are losing time, never evaluating if you wanted this in the first place, nor reevaluating if what you are doing is getting you where you want to go.

The persuasive trickster has replaced your dream with the one that gets her what she wants… and as long as you never see the strawman’s dangling limp body, you might never notice that he isn’t the only one on the hook.


  1. MLM Radar

    I saw a beautiful double rainbow last night. Took pictures too. It was firmly planted right past a neighbors house. Someone soggested I go grab the pot of gold. I laughed.

    There’s a huge difference between an achievable goal and abject fantasy. Both the rainbow”s pot of gold and MK/MLM “success” are abject fantasy. But only the rainbows’s pot of gold is funny.

    Besides, when did someone decide that all my dreams were now replaced by the “Dream” of being a small-time hustler of overpriced, low quality products?

  2. Formykids

    This so aptly sums up who I have become to my MKbot soon to be ex wife. I am the straw man, the stealer of dreams, the NSP, the one blocking gods plan for her. How did we get here……I mean I know how it happened, the victimization, the brainwashing, etc., but sometimes in moments of real sadness and frustration I can’t help but wonder how did we get here. It seems so absurd. All I ever wanted was to protect my family. It’s just a crying shame.

    1. Nope.Nope. Never.

      I am so sorry. It’s weird isn’t it? You and your wife had dreams and goals that you shared, and somehow… an MKBot decided whatever goals you BOTH had weren’t good enough for your wife. Weren’t good enough for your family. And here you see the ‘TRUE COST’ of Mary Kay. My heart breaks for you. I hope you and your kids find peace and joy when all the pink stink is out of your life. And one day, a sad day, your wife might wake up and ask the same questions you did, but it will be much too late for her. My heart breaks for her too.

      1. Formykids

        Thanks for your kind words and support. About to get really rough, I’m afraid. I have supported this dead end business fir many years and now in divorve she wants so much of what I’ve worked for all these years. Just pathetic and the law has not caught up. Very challenging.

        1. raisinberry


          This is why I stay on the site and keep posting. The MK wreckage in my life has long ago been repaired. Since I opened my mouth and asked the hard questions years ago, I have had many woman (from all Seminars, mind you so it isn’t “one bad apple”) come forward and tell me that their secret debt almost ruined their marriages…some shared that they “second mortgaged” to roll their MK debt into that to start again clean, (as if), but even that never repaired the mistrust built in their relationships. That doesn’t even begin to address the gut wrenching fear Directors then, and now, live with every day when they wake up with 3,4,5 maxed credit cards. Who reading this post right now, ended up with more money and better credit having joined Mary Kay? Oh no…I’m not talking about your combined husband-wife earnings. I am talking about YOUR contribution.

          You have to sell a $112.00 A DAY, every day, 360 days a year, to be on the Queen’s Court of Sales. From that, you will profit 16,000.00 dollars a year, if you go to ZERO meetings, No Seminar, NO CC, no retreats, no muffins and makeovers! You also sell every dime of product, have no shrinkage, and pay your card off so well you have no interest. No your Seminar dress is not deductible. Do you know anyone in MK for whom this description fits? SO, the majority of IBC’s are making less…selling less, adding debt to play.

          Can you even imagine, ruining your home and family and marriage and finances, in pursuit of a chance to become the woman, who has the SUIT, choreographing THE DEMISE of other women? Because that is what the SUIT means. You are the front line recruiter, and frontloader, and manipulator and persuader who keeps your NSD in her ivory tower.

          1. Rose

            It is such a travesty. I am beyond disgusted by these people who run MLM scams. I am not religious, but if there is a hell, the people who run MLM frauds are going there for sure. They are so much worse than even burglars. A burglar is at least honest about his motivations, and he just steals your stuff, not your close relationships. I am still shocked at just how effective the brainwashing is. How can people not see that the math is just not on their side?

            1. ran4fun

              I agree completely, and I never “bought into” it. I just see what it’s done to my loved one and her husband.

              I still can’t believe after all of her losses she can still defend any of this, but her close friend, an NSD, put the dream in her heart. Denying that dream would mean denying her (NSD) close friend. Right now that would be as impossible as denying God, and that’s not happening…

              Thanks again, Raisinberry, for your excellent writing and perspective.

  3. enorth

    “Don’t let anyone steal your dream”

    They say it often and emphatically. Soon, the IBC refuses to listen to sound advice from a husband, parent, or trusted friend. The brain-washing has been achieved. Go ahead, quit your teaching career, give up your nursing job, cash out your 401k, get more credit cards.

    Other oft-repeated mantras are, “Follow the leader, but make sure it’s right leader”, and, “You need to be a copy-cat, but make sure you’re copying the right cat.”

    Of course, the NSD wants you to believe that she is the right leader and the right cat.

  4. MLM Radar

    When I was a kid I had lots of dreams. They included being a pilot, astronaut, surgeon, mother, veterinarian, astronomer, archeologist, missionary, nurse, teacher, historian, explorer, scientific researcher, writer….

    NONE of those dreams included peddling low quality goods out of my car trunk in a parking lot.

    The only dream-stealing happening in MK/MLM Is that of making “peddler” steal away the dream of being a pilot, astronaut, surgeon, mother, veterinarian….

  5. Nope.Nope. Never.

    “Don’t let them steal your dream’… perhaps ‘it’ (Directorship etc) was NEVER your dream.

    Ah, but that’s the thing isn’t it? They know.
    We were raised to be nice so we smile and agree.
    We were raised to ‘have it all’ according to the magazines and talk shows.
    We were raised to believe we a woman should value herself before the world would notice….

    But they stole those dreams. They used guilt to the max.

    ‘What?! Of course you want to be director, national, whatever… you have to SHOW your husband your worth!’ But I never wanted to be director. But you swallow that, because you aren’t allowed to have that thought out loud – or else, you are ‘settling for less’. No one would settle for less right? So their argument wins.

    The guilt you into ‘supporting the sisterhood’ – really, a friend most likely roped you into this cult – and you might have ‘thought’ you were supporting her – and then they told you this was REAL income to help support YOUR family…. but there again a lie. And if you say ‘no’ well then, aren’t you lazy and a bad friend, spouse and mother? Who wouldn’t want to contribute. Certainly you can’t say no – and then the argument wins.

    And when you want to leave? Oh my….. guilt beyond measure – why would you HURT us like this? Again, we don’t want confrontation, and so THEY steal our real dreams as we stay just ‘a little bit longer’ to avoid unpleasantness… and our spouses wonder when we will hear THEM again…. soon we say… but maybe, just maybe, not soon enough.

    Don’t let MK Steal your dreams. They are bigger and better than anything MK could give you. I promise.

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