Finding Your Identity After Mary Kay

Written by Raisinberry

Stepping out of Mary Kay for good, is freedom. And that is as it should be. It is a step toward becoming “real” again, where you have no duplicitous purpose in your relationships. You were never supposed to be in bondage to an idea, a group, a philosophy. By using your greatest needs against you, you were taken in and held captive by a desire for significance… something you already possess.

The cult devices of, love bombing, isolation, conformity, repetitious doctrine, exclusivity, manipulation, new relationships, mega activities and busy-ness so that critical thinking and reasoning are discouraged, become a pythons grip around you. The “positive mental attitude” code of conduct prevented you from ever finding out the level of fraud that exists in Mary Kay, and locked you deep in a game of denial and bondage.

But, what is true is, you have been set free by a power bigger than Mary Kay, bigger than declarations, bigger than man made governments. Your true identity is that of a child, a precious wonder! You are a joyful, open, giving, intelligent, trusting, loving gift to the planet, empowered by the God of your understanding, to walk a life’s journey learning and maturing and arriving precisely where you should be, exactly on time, perfectly equipped.

So while this tour of duty in Mary Kay was painful, abusive and dreadfully cultish, you did make some friends, you did learn to set goals, you did learn to get things done and get better organized. You got to do some traveling, you faced your demons. You won a few, and lost a few. You did grow as a person. If you are one of the lucky ones who didn’t ruin your finances, your recovery will be quicker than the rest. But you are smarter now. We are all smarter now.

Maybe now we will hold precious, this great gift of freedom… this clarity of thought to never again be blind sheep, following without scrutiny any charismatic presentation. Our personal identity shines because we each unique. We may have been easily tricked into preferring this “wealth and riches model” that gives us the illusion of control. We have been brought face to face with how easily we look the other way instead of stand for what is right.

We now see how self serving we can be by telling prospects and recruits and each other only what we want… only what benefits us at the moment and maintains the fraud of the pink bubble. Oh, we told ourselves we were honest. We were truly helping women. And we believed it. That was part of the con. We were conned, and as we were conned, we conned others. When we seek personal significance and control in our lives, using all manner of man made “wealth” producers, and compromise our identities, we are playing into a lie that opposes the truth of faith. We are trapped.

The Truth is, whether you know it or not, you have been bought with a price and that payment produced freedom. To walk away from a system that disguised itself as Godly, while manipulating us into bondage is a statement of recapturing your freedom and your real identity, while exposing the nature of evil. For those who love to find “backup” in ancient texts, this statement from Paul to Timothy is telling:

“Now devoutness with contentment is great capital; for nothing do we carry into the world and it is evident that neither can we carry anything out. Now having sustenance and shelter, with these we shall be sufficed. Now, those intending to be rich are falling into a trial and a trap and the many foolish and harmful desires which are swamping (wo)men in extermination and destruction. For a root of all of the evils is the fondness for money, which some, craving, were led astray from the faith and try themselves on all sides with much pain. Now you, O (wo)man of God, flee from these things: yet pursue righteousness, devoutness, faith, love, with endurance, suffering and meekness.”

What Mary Kay loves to call a “paycheck of the heart” coming in at $10,000 to $100,000 a month actually represents not thousands of dollars of goods sold, but thousands of dollars on the credit cards of consultants… either frontloaded or tempted into “free product bonuses”, or staying active, or getting a higher commission rate, or winning a prize having nothing to do with product restocking or representative of consultant profit. Can you even fathom a greater hypocrisy? Trapped into a voracious need to produce the same numbers, and maintain the same lifestyle, and denying all that we have revealed in our testimonies here on Pink Truth, the sales leadership of Mary Kay Cosmetics have lost all awareness of their true identities for the Fame and Fortune of being a Queen of Pyramids. In fact they have cast their identities away.

A “Godly” woman pursuing righteousness would never stand for it. She would never preside over a system that denies the tragic impact of plunging new hopeful believing women into financial and emotional bondage, just so she can go on living in the style to which she has become accustomed. And what is worse, massaging her own conscience, she will blame that very trusting soul for not working “hard enough” when the house of cards crumbles. So few consultants and Directors can actually sell this product consistently that for the vast majority, Mary Kay represents “pin money”… not at all “executive level income”. A tiny fraction sit high atop the Pyramid looking down upon the would be “slaves” baiting them to earn the right to be “in their space” as if they themselves held the key to freedom.

They do not. Quite the opposite. Your freedom is in your identity. Your REAL identity. You are a child of GOD, and that is a truth that NO ONE can take away from you, even if you think you let them. I urge us all to recapture what is ours and embrace the truth that our significance has been established by GOD’s decree and no amount of stalking, frontloading or career path climbing will call out any more “excellence” than we already possess. In fact, to walk away from this abusive scheme in courage and faith is a greater statement of excellence.

4 Comments

  1. onelessSD

    Amen and Amen! I could not have said it better myself. Raisin, you’ve nailed this one completely. Our identities are not in what title we bear or what suit we wear, but we are a child of the King of Kings! When I finally realized this very truth, I was able to let it all go. It wasn’t easy due to all the indoctrination of MK, but with the support of my husband, I started down a much different path towards freedom. I’m forever grateful for Pink Truth and all the contributors here that helped me de-fog and learn how to live again as God would have me live, in honesty and truth.

    Thank you for writing this… so timely in this season of Thanksgiving! 🙂

  2. Kiki

    I’m so glad to be out of Mary Kay! I have time to be with my family and do activities I enjoy. Mary Kay did help in one way, boosting my credit score once I was refunded for my inventory and paid off the Mary Kay credit card. Lol! Now when I see or hear Mary Kay promoted somewhere, I cringe. It was such a cult-ish environment that I’m so glad to be free of.

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