The “I’m Not Trying to Recruit You” Lie

Written by The Scribbler

Recently, I was educated on the Mary Kay concept of the “Gold Medal.” Simply put, winning a Gold Medal means that one has recruited five women within a given month. There are lesser metals assigned for lesser numbers: a silver medal for recruiting four women, a bronze for three.

Just so we’re clear as to the intent of this training document/script, its title is “How to Win a Gold Medal!” If a consultant follows this document to the letter, she will recruit five women this month and perhaps receive something shiny worth a couple of bucks. Keep that in mind as you read and let’s begin!

Here’s a wonderful way to build your team and share with other women you meet! It’s the best way I’ve seen…. it works… it gets results! I tell her, “I am in a challenge to share company information with 10 women this week. Just for listening, you would be helping me reach my goal. Now I know that Mary Kay is something that you probably would never consider and that’s OK. I’m not trying to recruit you. (smile) I will just share information and let you make that informed decision after you’ve heard the facts. Will you help me?” (smile and HUSH!) They always say yes, because this is exactly how I finished my DIQ!”

Nothing like a lie right out of the gate: “I’m not trying to recruit you (smile); I will just share information.” There is nothing cute or funny about this behavior in the least; this is the scripted equivalent of a python wrapping its coils around a rabbit and hissing, “I’m not going to s-s-smother you, I’m just going to give you a little s-s-snuggle!”

Also of interest is the wording meant to reassure the target that the information she will receive is as solid as a brick outhouse: the decision she will make is “informed” after she’s heard the “facts.” What isn’t told is that the target will only receive facts which present the company in a pleasing light. The target certainly will not be hearing anything about co-payments on “free” cars, large inventory “investments,” or constant pressure that will be applied to recruit and purchase more products.

At the interview, the FIRST thing I do is ask questions about her and her life/family. I don’t immediately use “x-x-x” about the company. I let her know that SHE is my interest today and would never want her to feel that I am there to “recruit” her.

Stop right there. The recruiter isn’t asking her target questions about life and family for nothing. She is doing it to gather information and to nail down a possible “hot button,” which will enable her to tailor her script to the target’s dreams/needs. Quite simply, she’s going to tell that target exactly what she needs to hear.

But, “I would never want her to feel I am there to recruit her!” Friends, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck! Regardless of how badly this recruiter doesn’t want her target to feel like a target, that is precisely why they are seated in a Panera booth, sipping coffee, leafing through glossy MK brochures, and guiltily nibbling away at something fried. It’s about the gold!

I also ask what they are making at their current JOB. I explain that it is a personal question, I know – but I would like to show them how Mary Kay could make her money faster and with a lot less stress. They always provide me with bring home pay info and I compare hour-to-hour.

Ladies, if you’ve ever wanted justification for asking to see a director’s Schedule C, your day has come. If a recruiter asks you what you’re making, it is only fair for her to divulge what she’s bringing in after expenses. Personally, I’d be curious to see how the recruiter would spin the “a lot less stress” part, especially around the end of the month when directors are dialing for dollars.

I explain that realistically, they would not work Mary Kay 8 hours straight every day because they DON”T HAVE TO!!!!! YEAH! I just compare money-to-money/hour-to-hour/stress level-to-stress level and “at-home” time with their family. The difference is usually HUGE and so they see why Mary Kay could be great for them. After all-they just came to listen-right?????? HA!

The mocking “HA!” at paragraph’s end adds just the right touch of go-giveness, wouldn’t you agree??????

Let’s finish up by reviewing how Mary Kay would prefer to have its recruiters forget that a Personal Use option even exists:

If there is talk about inventory, NEVER mention a $225 order at all. Sometimes we talk about “personal use” and then “getting active with a $225 order,” DO NOT DO IT!!!!! Inventory is just a personal decision as to what she plans to do with her personal business. I tell her that is not pressure; I am just informing her about ALL that she can get for FREE her on her initial order. I used to be terrified of opening my mouth about inventory, for fear of being pushy or having them think that I was after their money, then I grew up and became a businesswoman and realized that through Mary Kay I am offering a lifestyle change and the decision is up to them. NOT ME!

Doesn’t this section sound as if the recruiter is trying to overcome any objections she herself might be having? “It’s not pressure; I am only informing her…” “I was afraid that they’d think I was after their money, but then I grew up…” and “The decision is up to them, NOT ME!”

Is it? Even if the target’s decision meant being personal use? By withholding that choice from her, the recruiter is affecting the target’s decision, thereby making it the recruiter’s. Personal use consultants are seen as a bother, as something that doesn’t get a unit to the next level. They don’t want to dedicate themselves, they just want a good deal. That’s not what is wanted by sales directors and NSDs.

There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting success in Mary Kay.  The danger comes when one is willing to compromise one’s ethics in order to acquire a shot at that success. Are the diamonds, the cars, and the commission checks worth the steady stream of half-truths, gentle embellishments, and lies of omission one needs to tell in order to keep the “yes” answers coming?

Don’t make that compromise, friend; it is too high a price and trust me, you’re worth much more than that.


  1. Mickey2942

    Criminal thinking, con games. MLM snake oil, bait and switch games galore. Always dangling that shiny object, free, easy money, just sit back and it will roll in.

    “What? The money isn’t rolling in? Well, you need to have more facial parties, just order this stock item, and this one, this entire line of facial skin care, once they try it, the money will be rolling in…”.

    There is one born every minute. P.T. Barnum.

  2. Lazy Gardens

    “would never want her to feel that I am there to “recruit” her”

    Because if she gets that “feeling”, she’s going to bolt out the Starbucks foot and you’ll never catch her.

  3. PeachyNotPink

    I got suckered in by a friend with the “I need to talk to x number of women about this to meet my goal, can you help me.” At the meeting, I caught on to all the questions about my job, etc. so she didn’t get any ammo there. I love my job and am paid well.

    Because she was a friend, I asked about being a PUC to help her out. While she was honest when she told me MK doesn’t really have a PUC category, she tried to lure me in with the “you only have to make an order of $225 wholesale to get the discount”. Of course she omitted that it is $225 every quarter, and didn’t bother to explain that it is not a rolling quarter.

    For those who don’t know, if you make your $225 order on January 25th your 50% discount runs out on March 31st – Not April 25th. So if you buy into the PUC thing, ALWAYS place your order on the first of the month so you get a full three months of discount. BUT, your SD won’t let you do this because they’ll be begging you to place your order at the end of the month so they can make their quotas.

    Anyway, I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into, signed the agreement. Out of curiosity I went to a few of her trainings in the first couple weeks. Two of the newer consultants were complaining that everyone they talked to either had a MK consultant or were consultants themselves. Another complained how all her facial appointments had fallen through the past two weeks. I also read everything on InTouch and realized how impossible making any money was with MK. (I was actually impressed how MK has all the matrices available to show exactly what is needed to hit each level) Then I found Pink Truth and had all my observations and reservations validated.

    There were other little things throughout my short experience that, thanks to Pink Truth, I know are typical scripts of MK. On the whole, it was really disheartening that a “friend” felt they had to try to manipulate me like that.

  4. enorth

    “I need to talk to x number of women about this to meet my goal”

    I listened to a training video from a NSD. She suggested telling people you’re in a scavenger hunt. Or you’re in an “alphabet contest” you still need someone whose name begins with a certain letter.

    So juvenile and degrading.

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