Written by Raisinberry
Well I think I may have figured out why many of us lingered too long at the Mary Kay dance before coming to our senses. For well over a year after I left Mary Kay, I couldn’t believe a woman like me, reasonably intelligent, fell for the hype for so many years and never faced or admitted it, even to myself. Then I saw many Pink Truth members saying the same thing.
It has been said that this is a “realization, remorse, repair and resume” sequence akin to cult detox and it just takes time. We were bamboozled. We gave our trust to people who were practicing an art that had its start in the very first garden. In the end, the thing that kept us languishing in the limbo of “will this work-this doesn’t work” was the showmanship of the NSDs and their little white lies. Mary Kay has some of the best actresses on 5 continents, who can deliver a line with a smile and nod, worthy of an Academy Award.
Mary Kay teaches that success is simply one good “beauty show” away and yes, my friends Mary Kay is “show” business. But not the kind you thought. In show business you recreate stories acting out and selling your part, but knowing the roll isn’t wholly true. You play a part for the benefit of the audience. Mary Kay’s trainers do the same.
One of the main tenets of the Mary Kay creed is to be a woman of integrity. We pat ourselves on the back as “women of excellence” and the MK Motto of “God first” is supposed to set the stage for our godly behavior.
Women of excellence would never lie to you. We were not supposed to tell a lie. But if the direct answer to your question meant that you would hear a negative word, we were instructed to “season” our answer with some PMA (positive mental attitude) so as not to discourage you…. you who might be having a moment of negative vulnerability. Lies of omission are not really lies are they?
Mary Kay makes us become masters at not exactly lying but not exactly telling the truth. Right from the beginning, we should have seen the small “little white lies” that would have tipped us off sooner. We were told to “borrow” another’s “I-story” if we needed to, until our own story got polished. We were told to tell customers we were “in our first year” if it was our second or third class because “nobody wants to do business with someone so new”. We were told that “Good News” was good news, and no place to mention obstacles
If our Director was featuring us up front, and said we had worked 2 hours at our last class, then by gum it, we worked 2 hours and 50% of $300 was $150 — divided by two! 75 bucks an hour! “Say Yea!”. Standing upfront while “little whites” are being told about you is some acting job. But there was your first instruction in the acting business, and that’s the kind of “show business” Mary Kay is really talking about.
The full story of the upfront consultant, left out that misunderstanding with hostess credit that cost her a ton of giveaway items, the hour drive, the product replacement one guest wanted, and a boatload of samples and supplies burned up. Oh yea, and the 4.5 hours she was there. Being recognized up front means you wouldn’t want to embarrass that Director with her obvious “little white lie” by correcting her, so now it becomes yours!
Our careers start to show the signs of whitening when we share our “recruiting notebook” with prospects that has all our Star Consultant Prizes for “selling” product. Even that one weekly summary sheet included in our datebook with $1,107 in sales doesn’t quite tell the whole picture. We smile and nod as the prospect asks us,” Is that what you made in one week?”
“Yes”, we say! “Can you believe it?” What good would it do to tell her we have additional expenses. It would just bog her down. Just another “little white” for her own good.
At year end awards at Seminar, we wear our beaded gowns and excitedly wait for our names to be called. “Top Ten in Year to Date Retail Sales”…why it’s YOU! You claim your certificate and your rosette and stand for the photo op, looking down at the number blazoned in gold calligraphy.
in “sales,” it says. Only you know what’s on the shelves, in the basement and in your own bathroom. Nowhere in all of Mary Kay is the number $24,619 in retail sales a reality for you. But it is a gala night! What’s one more little white?
When we brought a guest to any event we weren’t supposed to tip her off that the main deal was recruiting. So we told her it was a motivational speaker, or a “ladies morning out”. Our real motive for asking her had to be hidden, or she probably wouldn’t come so we weren’t really “lying”, but we weren’t really telling the truth, either. It was just another “little white”.
At home at the computer it’s the end of the month. Our husbands walk by and say, “Are you ordering again?” “Yes, I need stuff,” we say, getting whiter all the time.
It’s the last days of car qualification and you need two more. Your Director tells you to keep calling but say to your prospects that you only need one more. This, she tells you, will heighten her desire to help you. This is only a white lie and they probably won’t ever tell the story to each other. She was right, it worked! Aren’t those “little whites” so wonderful! You deserve an Emmy.
It’s all culminating tonight, your last recruit needs to activate. She wants to wait till next month to order when she gets her business credit card. That decision just won’t do. You inform her that you forgot to tell her that all new recruits who activate before the end of the month get a starter kit enhancement package of a micro-magic-super-duper-anti-aging-repair-renew kit (you know.. whatever is the latest and greatest set in MK)! Who knew that the benefits of a little whitening are increased quick thinking and salesmanship!
As your new recruits sit like little foggy-eyed hamster babies at the National’s guest event, their excitement is palpable. Can we all reach our dreams? Is Mary Kay too good to be true? To cement all the “show biz” we rip out our Applause magazine and show the commissions in the back. “Look at all these top salaries” we say!” Our new team members glaze over.
“These are paychecks of the heart. They reflect how many women these ladies have helped.”
Could anything be farther from the truth? But now the “whitening” has taken hold and “little whites” roll off the tongue without any discernment at all. That’s how we lost our way. The way back to truthfulness takes honest discernment of everything we say…every self-serving thing we say… everything we were taught to say. It takes 100% authenticity and checking every word, “Is that really true? Am I sharing this correctly?” to fight the intoxicating effects of “whitening.”
“NSD is where we are all going to end up if we never quit” they told us. “Believe and achieve! Show up to go up. Do what your Director says! Nobody gets anywhere in Mary Kay without helping others succeed!” and not once did anyone acknowledge the monthly churn thru of thousands of consultants that were told little white lies and lies of omission. “No? Next!” applies to you too! It’s a brand new crop, fresh from the guest event.
Just like professional actors, the NSD’s give their academy award performances and use their Director understudy’s to do “ i-story” validation. They line up stage right for their photo sessions with their newbie fans, who stare starry eyed waiting for her personal words of wisdom, having no idea how scripted and rehearsed the whole night has been.
“I believe in you!” says the National, having no earthly idea who the newbie is.
What’s another little white lie while you take your bow?