Silence is Not Golden

Written by sadnpink

Having been trained in the field of communication, I know how crucial it is to keep lines of communication open when working a business. Even in relationships, this is a key ingredient to success. So why would any company allow its leaders to avoid discussing problems openly?

There is an old saying that goes “you are either part of the problem or part of the solution”. Many of the leaders in Mary Kay are more of a problem than a solution because they are unwilling to openly discuss issues that could lead to solutions or at least reality.

For the most part, we are taught to avoid any negative talk. Even a discussion of reality such as low commission checks (for directors) or the difficulty of booking classes (for consultants) is looked at as negative communication. Heaven forbid that we address these concerns! Talking about reality is akin to drinking poison in the minds of the 2% club. So they begin at an early stage to indoctrinate consultants to avoid saying things like: “My classes all cancelled this week.” Or “No one wants to have a class”. On the director level… talk such as “My commission check has been low over the last few months. I cannot keep living like this.” Or “I have had to make co-pays on the car the last six months and I cannot keep it up.” All of this is considered forbidden communication.

I remember several times during my directorship I was told to avoid certain other directors because they had a bad “attitude.” I was supposed to look upline to those who had achieved more if I needed advice, and I was never to tell any unit members if I faced any struggles. In fact, all of Mary Kay seemed to be shrouded in mystery. You only learned about certain things on a need to know basis.

Potential recruits are not told about inventory packages until “after” they sign up. DIQ is surrounded by silence too. It is not until you are in the frenzy to make it month by month that you know the truth of how hard it is to reach your goal of thirty recruits…all active at the same time and a production level of $16,000. It sounds so easy and everyone is so positive that you will have an easy time of it reaching director. If we had known how stressful, intense, and sometimes disappointing this can be, many of us would never have entered or attempted to complete this.

Once you become a director, you think you can relax… but it is more of the same as you are pushed on and on to the next higher goal. There is no rest, but no one bothered to tell you that. So, you keep on rushing ahead for the ever elusive pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The truth is there never is an end to the rainbow. The run is for the rest of your stay in Mary Kay.

Do you wonder why I found this website so comforting? It was because I had few if any other directors I could talk to. No one wanted to admit that we were like a dog chasing our tails in never ending circles only to find we could never rest. Whether you are a consultant or a director, most of us just want someone to be honest with us. However, it is rare to get an honest answer from anyone in the Pink Fog.

Faking it till you make does not work. Pretending we are a success when we are not is called “fantasy”. Most of us want to live in the real world with real solutions to our problems. There is nothing wrong with a positive mental attitude so long as it is grounded upon facts. Communication helps us to find solid answers…this is what most of us were lacking in our MK experience… the TRUTH!

Now at this website… we are finding that the truth is setting us free!

9 Comments

  1. Linda

    This is not just Mary Kay it is the same in almost all mlms according to YouTubes I have seen who has been comparing notes. One explanation could be that many of the mlms were created by the Sheffield group but I don’t think Mary Kay is one of those but they all seem to be based on the same model and then they just change it a little bit to make it fit their particular mlm. I also once worked for a company, a callcenter actually which used tactics on their employees which were so similar so I think even that company was created using the same model. Are you familiar with the B.I.T.E model ( behavior, information, though and emotional control) which is used to identity a cult? It is like mlms and the company I worked for all use milder versions of most of the cult tactics which is described in this model. I later worked for a woman who was also a Mary Kay consultant and tried to recruit me to Mary Kay but I researched and that is how I found this site. I appologize if my english is not that good, it is not my first language :).

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  2. Lazy Gardens

    A real business or profession does not shy away from discussing what is and isn’t working. After every project or regularly during ongoing business there should be discussions of how things are going, and how to make it better. YOu track activity and results and if it’s not geting results, you stop doing it.

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    1. Char

      I agree, and I think Mary Kay has been discussing issues all along. Examples: Changing products to drive new purchases and which new promotions they’ll run to increase orders. The strategy that Mary Kay uses has worked quite nicely for them. They are a billion dollar debt-free company, after all.

      Having said that, I’m sure there are new discussions by the company. People are becoming more and more aware of the corrupt method they use that tricks people into buying products. What will they do now?

      1. BestDecision

        MK is a privately held company, so they don’t have to disclose numbers. Who says they ever told us the truth? I’m doubtful, just like they claimed to not do animal testing until the days of the internet made us wiser.

  3. NayMKWay

    Pretty much all MLMs practice this form of thought control, which is often called “toxic positivity.” Its roots can be traced back to the 19th century, but really gained traction when Napoleon Hill published “Think And Grow Rich” in 1937. Norman Vincent Peale reinforced the concept 15 years later with “The Power of Positive Thinking,” and we all know about Rhonda Byrne’s “The Secret.”

    There is an excellent essay by “The Masked Commenter” right here at Pink Truth. I highly recommend it:

    http://www.pinktruth.com/2007/08/13/the-law-of-attraction-otherwise-known-as-the-secret/

    It’s really ironic how MLM victims are encouraged to sign up and “be your own boss” and “run your own business,” then promptly told how to think, speak, act, dress, etc., but that’s MLM-ing for you. We can’t have anyone actually thinking for themselves; they might wise up and get out.

    MLMs are called cults for good reasons. Once you’ve outlawed negativity, you’ve stigmatized rational, critical thought. The System forbids questioning The System.

    Yeah, no danger there.

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    1. Ronda Verot

      I was in MK in the early 90s. Everything PinkTruth is saying is true! I lived in the Country in Texas. 6 people in my area were also MK consultants. Very hard to sell anything, so I quit. I was called and mailed flyers constantly. I then tried Amway, same crap!! Amway has been in so many lawsuits that Amway has changed its name 4 times. All a pyramid scheme.
      My daughter is a licensed cosmetologist. We research all kinds of makeup. Do women understand that there is lead in their lipstick and they don’t have to list it? LEAD! We worry about cancer so much but no one talks about the HORRIBLE ingredients in Mary Kay. Research what is in them that they DO NOT HAVE TO LIST AND THEY DON’T! SCARY!!

  4. Cindylu

    It’s all make believe. As long as they can convince us that it can work, then they can pretend NSD is attainable. In MK promised results often do not follow and that’s the downfall of this pink scam.

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