There is So Much Good After Mary Kay

Written by SuzyQ

Back in the early days of Pink Truth (2007), our members got to “watch” me implode as a Mary Kay sales director. It was such a process and I can’t imagine how I would have lived through it without everyone on Pink Truth. It also took a sense of humor.

It amazes me to meet new participants… former lurkers, who are astonished at the similarities of our stories as they come out piece by piece. It is so rewarding to read the comments and know that we are providing hope to others.. the great relief to learn we aren’t crazy, and that it wasn’t because we didn’t work hard enough or believe enough.

There have been times on here that I have defended directors and other times I have blasted them. Being a director is one of the strangest experiences I have had in my life. There is a whole ‘nother level of deceit and disinformation once we reach directorship and leaving it is incredibly difficult initially. There is a death of a dream, of hope for the future, of doing just a little bit more to make it work, trying something different to inspire the unit (“Boot Camps”, complete with Pink Camo were once popular around these parts… the fact that we have wars in the real world and people die in them has apparently escaped the attention of the people who dream this stuff up… too negative. The war thing.) And finally, the realization that it can’t work, and won’t work and it’s time to leave.

I finally got to that point, but it took a while to get to the hard won peace that I know now. My Mary Kay car was ceremoniously towed away and my unit was gone shortly after that. It was fun “meeting” other directors whose clocks were running out soon, too… 3 or 4 at the time I was leaving, plus me, and these were only the women I talked to on a regular basis. Who knows how many lurkers and those few who haven’t found us are “stepping down” or “losing” their units this month? And next month… and the month after…

The writing I did for Pink Truth was for my own therapy and I probably should not have subjected all the Pink Truth readers to it, but (there’s always a “but” isn’t there)… I discovered I was not unique and my experiences resonated with others. So, a note to directors who are committed to turning their units around, and are so excited after that awesome [insert major Mary Kay event]… it’s not going to happen. Really. You are chasing something that enriches only your upline. Yes, Virginia, we have uplines in Mary Kay. It’s a multi leveling marketing scheme. Period. Those at the top prosper at the expense (literally and emotionally) of those at the bottom. And if you are a bottom feeder (or a “struggling” director like me) it’s not going to get better. Trust me on this.

You will have a good month, or a new hot dog… maybe even in another state who is ON FIRE and will change your whole unit! And then she will burn out and you will be back where you are now. If you bring in people with large inventories, they will end up returning it. There is too much easily accessible information for them to access than there ever was before. This does not work to your advantage. Women are smart… they know deception and if anything, MK Is deceptive.

Those nagging questions you have always had?

  • Like, how does MK know we are #1 year after year… but if you google lists, we are not on them… how does that work? It works because of you Sweetie… you and your unit order, that’s how that works.
  • The Star Prizes? Have you priced them in retail stores? If you haven’t, it works out that $1,800 = around $25 and it goes up by maybe $20 as you progress up the ladder…
  • Have you thought about the ethics of not telling your units about product changes? Have you let them order things you know are being discontinued?
  • Do you ask them to stand up if they are going to be a Star this quarter? Do you put their orders in your newsletter? And their sales? Have you noticed that their sales aren’t even close to their orders?
  • Do you have banquets? Events? Do you announce your highest check? Do you also say that it was a one time thing several years ago, or do you allow them to believe it is a typical check for you?
  • Do you tell them that it is okay to incur debt because it is a business deduction?
  • If they tell you they don’t have $100 for the starter kit, do you tell them that’s why they need MK?
  • Do you talk about executive incomes made when working only 10 hours a week?
  • Do they know that your checks bounce better than rubber balls?

Have you been encouraged to leave your JOB because Mary Kay doesn’t like her directors to hold other employment? How big is YOUR credit card debt? How does it feel to buy a suit for over $400 that you wouldn’t be caught dead in otherwise? And spend the money for events and “I stories” you could recite in your sleep? Are you embarrassed because you are not in a Cadillac during director line ups at events? Do you secretly look at the other directors and wonder why they are having so much success and you are not?

Ladies, it’s all of this and more. There is such incredibly powerful manipulation afoot… read any training materials from other MLMs and you will see MK everywhere – the phrases, the suggested reading lists, the same slogans. We are all the same and we are not going to “make it” unless we hurt a lot of people along the way. MK is a numbers game, and there are families behind those numbers, we cause great damage in our pursuit of our “dream.”

Start asking questions and see the reaction from your forever friends. Mention Pink Truth and see the horror in people’s faces. Tell somebody you are not making enough money and have them tell you to just quit thinking and work harder. Watch your phone calls and emails decrease dramatically. Get ready for some “Hear my heart” conversations.

I do offer hope though. It is so much better to be on the way out rather than on the way in. We miss so much when we are in the fog. We can be honest, we regain our souls and our spirits, our senses of humor and irony. We sleep well. We explore other job opportunities and other cosmetic lines. We meet new friends who have seen us at our worst and still are there for us. We worship the God of our choosing instead of the one chosen for us. There is so much good waiting for you! Your family and your life are waiting… can you hear it?

7 Comments

  1. BestDecision

    And faking enthusiasm for a new suit, product, or promotion. Acting like all is well when you’re running hard and not making forward progress. Since I left, my Senior is in the exact same position. My offspring have taken steps forward and then back.

    My Senior doesn’t like anyone to veer away from what she does and liked us all following along behind her like good little ducks, and it sabotaged my net profits. People who left were talked about and made fun of. There was anger and even rage when people sent product back. She keeps saying she’s close to NSD, but she’s never even hit 8 offspring.

    I can’t erase the decisions I made or actions I took, but I certainly can help others reading this. Know that you’re not alone. You aren’t lazy. You aren’t a quitter or a loser. Directors finish cars and production by ordering it themselves. Retails sales aren’t praised as much as wholesale ordering. We all know your unit retail totals for the year are only on what’s ordered—not what’s actually sold. There are far better products on the market. Mk’s foundations are awful. Mk’s skin care is a joke and not at all good. Your car payment now through December is painful, and you have a right to feel robbed. (It isn’t prorated fairly, is it?)

    Tests on animals.
    Overpriced face masks.
    Weighted to benefit MKI and not the sales force.
    Cheated out of quality prizes for Star production.

    Never more happy and never more glad I got out, sent my Cadillac back, and got my refund. And never more ALIVE,

  2. Cindylu

    Well Written SuzyQ. “There is a death of a dream, of hope for the future, of doing just a little bit more to make it work”. I remember soon after I quit being lost and seeming to be without purpose. There is so much time spent on useless busy activities that for a while I had no idea what to do next. Didn’t have to warm stalk, do cold calls, plan an open house, go to some fake training or conference on the weekend. All those MK friends sadly were gone. (Except for one who is still a friend and also out of MK decades later). It was traumatic and certain places triggered sadness or guilt. Thank goodness I didn’t ruin too many lives with recruiting. Those silly MK photos brought back embarrassing moments. I had to repair relationships with my husband etc. My kids to this day hate MK. All those silly ribbons, prizes and extra training aids or products had to find a new home. Years later I still occasionally find a business card, mirror or product. The seminar sequined suits and dresses were donated. I often wondered about my SD’s highest check and knew it was from many years back. I was quite disgruntled when I ordered product (Got very little for such a large amount) and then the company immediately changed it a few weeks later. My first of many red flags. It is subtle and devious how MK has layers of disinformation. Yes thank goodness for PT and former directors confirming what we slowly discern that although MK speaks of ethics, faith and empowerment. The reality is that MK fails to deliver the promise of success. Instead MK is all make believe. Pretend or faking it while the NSD’s, CEO’s and heirs keep the facade going one more year at your expense.

    1. Imewise

      This brought back so many memories for me. As a former director, I remember crying and mourning the loss of my dreams, not knowing what I should do with myself, dealing with consultants and directors (my “empowering girlfriends”) who each wanted to give me a piece of their mind before blocking me on social media (literally days after they took notes from my classes at quarterly events).

      Every once in a while I realize it is month end and thank the universe that I am not pushing for Unit goals.

  3. Ruby Slippers

    Reasons why I’m glad I’m out of the pink fog:
    1) Eating out, grocery shopping, banking, etc without having to ‘warm stalk’ in hopes of finding the next recruit.
    2) not having to drive to an appointment only to have a no show
    3) not feeling utterly exhausted (mentally and physically) after month end regardless of whether it was good or bad….constant adrenaline overdrive.
    4) not having to take calls from recruits who were annoying and couldn’t process an order without my assistance
    5) not having to go to events and Monday night meetings pretending excitement for unit for consultants for showing up even though they were not working or selling.

    1. BestDecision

      Ditto on all these! I don’t miss watching women and determining if I should give her my card. Or losing nights and weekends to so many wastes of time. Life is so much better, less pressured, and not worrisome without MK in it anymore!

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