Mary Kay Gives False Hope

Written by Diana

I wanted to write and share a little of my quitting experience. I am mourning my MK business. I thought it was my ticket to financial freedom. I thought I had found a business that was faith first, family second, and career third.

I was wrong.

I couldn’t even bring myself to attend meetings anymore. I couldn’t contact my leads anymore. I was frozen, the dream was gone. I was a team leader before I really saw the greed. I missed so much time with my family. I knew it was time to quit.

I only did MK for one year. I was a star every quarter, and from sales. I only borrowed $,1200 total for MK and I had over $9,000 in retail sales. No credit card, but that does not mean that they did not try to get me to get one. (The $,1200 was a small personal loan from a bank, not revolving credit.)

I could have made it as a director, but I saw the greed and the stress. I saw my director ask for orders at meetings, smiling and nodding, while saying, “you know you will sell it” and “you don’t want to miss it because it will sell out” etc….. I thought I wanted to be just like her. I mourned for the business I thought I had.

My last month I needed my team members to order so I could stay active. I ended up not caring. I knew my director would hound them to order more of what they didn’t need.

I sold a lot while I was in MK. I moved everything on my shelf. I was good at it. Morally I couldn’t do it anymore, though.. I couldn’t take advantage of the ladies I was supposed to help. I couldn’t ask them to order all the time, it felt wrong.

My director was one of the better ones. She actually trains people on how to sell and books a ten show week every month, she works hard. I was sad to end my friendship with her, because she stopped talking to me all together. She wouldn’t return my phone calls or respond to my texts. It is sad to lose a friend like that.

Mary Kay gives false hope and false morals. Some can ignore this and be directors and NSDs. We are looked down upon if we question and we judge on accident because we can’t continue with the business after we find out the truth. We judge by our action to quit.

The products are good and they got me hooked. It was fun. I liked teaching skin care. It was just so hard to get that good skin care class. So much rejection and work. I figured I was making about $5 an hour doing MK. I am worth way more that that.

Oh, and a few more things…..

Constant events that drain cash and take away from money making activities. To have so many and to make the consultant feel bad if they do not want to go. This is wrong too. The list of wrongs gets longer with the little white lies and the pressure to order.

Example: With one of my first big commission checks ($300) my director said to me, you can use that for some more inventory. I thought this was strange, because my plan was to use it for my son’s preschool. In fact I never reinvested 50%, I always used the money for my family and constantly got flack for it.

Need I go on…. I mourned for my business that turned out to be something different than what I was shown from the beginning. I think I was most angry about the faith first, family second, and career third moral standard, because it simply is not true. When I was working so hard to become a director, it was MK first all the way!!!!

9 Comments

  1. BestDecision

    If the business was so lucrative for most, there’d be no need for so many events. One Seminar a year would be enough to keep people inspired, focused, and trained to do their jobs. Sadly, it takes a meeting every 7 days to reignite most people’s fires.

  2. NayMKWay

    “I couldn’t even bring myself to attend meetings anymore. I couldn’t contact my leads anymore. I was frozen, the dream was gone.”

    “I was frozen…” This stress response is quite common. Your mind, overcome with the burdens placed upon it, shuts down. If you are lurking here and feeling the same way, wondering where your enthusiasm went, wondering why you can’t seem to get anything done anymore, it’s your mind and body telling you you need a change. Step one is to do what you’re already thinking about (why else are you here?) and quit Mary Kay. You may feel worse at first, but that should pass. If it doesn’t, seek professional help. Mary Kay is a cult, and getting it out of you can be harder than getting out of it.

    Case in point: the writer mourns the loss of a friend. What friend? That person used Diana for personal gain. A friendship based on “what have you done for me lately?” is no friendship at all. To mourn the loss of something you never had means there’s some fog still, blurring reality.

    The owner of the blog “Married To An Ambot” said her husbamd needed to see a professional deprogrammer once he realized Amway was a scam and he needed to get out. The cult of Amway had brainwashed him, and he needed help to regain perspective.

    The reason we call MLMs cults is because they are. It’s important to understand that those endless meetings aren’t just to keep you enthused and engaged; they’re trying to keep you from thinking for yourself.

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  3. Brooke

    It is a grieving process. At least for me it was, and I can relate to the OP that way. I thought my recruiter was a friend (we had been going to church together since I was born and knew/hung out a decent amount) but once I let my consultant status expire, she no longer cared. No return texts, calls, emails, nothing. It was heartbreaking for me. But, in the end, it was a loss grieved and healed for me. Hopefully the OP will find the healing they need.

  4. Char

    Congratulations Diana. I once mourned a significant other. Years later, and let me tell you, am I glad we aren’t together. Blech! And, what was I thinking? Lol

    “I thought I had found a business that was faith first, family second, and career third. I was wrong.” —

    You weren’t wrong!!! Mary Kay, and all MLM company tactics, are indeed “faith” first. MLMers are the brainwash masters and do not present you with facts – because they can’t. That’s what the definition of faith is.

    Mary Kay is a “faith” cult. This is proven by your statement, “We are looked down upon if we question and we judge on accident because we can’t continue with the business after we find out the truth. We judge by our action to quit.”

    And, “I was sad to end my friendship with her, because she stopped talking to me all together. She wouldn’t return my phone calls or respond to my texts.” —

    You were excommunicated from the cult; yet, you merely exposed the truth, and you are a good person for doing so. Not the other way around which you would be accused of. See how messed up that is?

    “I only did MK for one year. I was a star every quarter, and from sales. I only borrowed $,1200 total for MK and I had over $9,000 in retail sales.” —

    Sounds impressive. But when we dig deeper, you reveal the truth. Your resales aren’t the goal of Mary Kay Inc., but this is:

    “With one of my first big commission checks ($300) my director said to me, you can use that for some more inventory.”

    And this, “I sold a lot while I was in MK. I moved everything on my shelf. I was good at it. Morally I couldn’t do it anymore, though.. I couldn’t take advantage of the ladies I was supposed to help. I couldn’t ask them to order all the time, it felt wrong.” —

    Right on! Because you were making a buck off your friends and family and overcharging them. Who does that?!!!

    *Faith without doubt leads to moral arrogance*

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    1. Char

      I wanted to clarify that I was not poking fun at you mourning what you thought was your business and ticket to financial freedom. It’s just with time, sometimes we can look back, as I did, and now think “yuck”. I’m now very grateful for that “loss”, but didn’t see it that way at the time. I wish I could’ve seen it sooner, not mourned and considered it a gift, and saved myself some grief. Easier said than done, I know.

    2. Kristen

      Depends how you define faith. Most new consultants take the priorities for granted as:
      Faith=God (spirituality)
      Family= Family
      Career= Mary Kay Sales

      Mary Kay actually distorts it as:
      Faith=Mary Kay doctrine (brainwashing/no logic)
      Family=Mary Kay Family
      Career= recruiting

      OP meant she was wrong about the first version I think, but I guess that’s what your (Chars) point is. MK does put blind faith in the company as its top priority and thus, she was correct.

      Anyhoo, same. However, you CAN dispute MK faith with logic and dismantle it. Faith in God cannot be subjected to the same analysis, if you are a Christian. Faith is just faith. But God doesn’t scam you out of your savings. People do.

  5. Pinkiu

    Ummm…

    “Example: With one of my first big commission checks ($300) my director said to me, you can use that for some more inventory. I thought this was strange, because my plan was to use it for my son’s preschool. In fact I never reinvested 50%, I always used the money for my family and constantly got flack for it.”

    I do struggle with her statement that she never reinvested 50% but says she sold $9,000. The math doesn’t add up. If her initial inventory was $1200 ($2400 retail) and sold $9000 ($4500 wholesale), it had to come from somewhere. That’s a $6600 retail difference ($3300 wholesale). The number is probably even bigger since we know that she had to discount product and give it away. Maybe she waited until she had orders & money in hand before ordering, but I doubt that. Or maybe she reinvested in the beginning and then let things dwindle and forgot about that. I tend to give people the benefit of forgetful remembering.

    I do applaud her for getting rid of her inventory though and finding us. I know that when I quit MK and found PT, I did the same thing. But, I had a tough time separating the good feelings I had toward MK and the anger as I realized the truth about the $$. The full truth of my MK journey didn’t manifest until I read here for a year or so.

  6. Cindylu

    Diana thank you for sharing your very powerful story about hope lost. I feel your despair in your words. Unless we continue to adhere to their version of success, then we eventually ignored or critically judged. It is normal to fall further and further into doubt. We see the image of grandeur the Directors and NSD’s present. The reality though is MK is unfair and possibly labor exploitation. MK soon becomes oppressive and drudgery. I remember beginning to despise being away from my children. I also was fed up with the overpriced former MK Director glamor instructor who taught nothing. She was a bully. MK does indeed ruin friendships. In the end we feel let down and abandoned by MK. It was the Faith and family part that attracted us. It was also the undoing of their endless deceit. You will mourn but eventually you will come out of this a better person.

  7. Data Junkie

    Diana, you are a good person who was duped by an elaborate con. The very good news is your “good” side did not let you perpetuate the con once you discovered the truth. For this you should be very proud. There is no shame in making a mistake. The shame belongs to those who stay in after they discover the truth.

    I hope you are soon able to look back on this as a lesson learned, and that you will now be immune to exploitation by this type of scam for the rest of your life!

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