The daughter of a former Mary Kay sales director, who got caught up in her own vision of  the Mary Kay image presented by her mother.

Mary Kay was both a sweet and sour for me.

I love being dressed up so my mother’s Mary Kay unit meetings always provided an opportunity for that. Makeup was fun to wear and use and experiment with. Fancy things, shiny rings, swanky scarves: they are enough to attract any twelve year old to the fun side of it. A chance to be twelve and look eighteen, it all seemed so exciting then.

Now that I am 18, its really not as cool as I had dreamt. It was also a chance for me and my mom to just be together. No dad, no brothers. Just me and her. Well, us and about twenty others; but that was ok too, since the majority of them were my family members so innocently suckered into the pink smog like my mother had been. To me, we were playing dress up.

Liking the spotlight, I was allowed to pass out refreshments, model jewelry, hand out prizes. That sensation gave me so much power. It was like looking at a sea of orphans and letting them wait to see who was the “chosen one”. How pathetic. To know I ever took that gratification out of the yearing hearts in that room, makes me sick. Sick of my own human greed, and sick for the Mary Kay Corporation to breed that desire.

My mother is convinced that she has caused harm to me, my life, my heart. I really do not see that to be true. She never hurt me. She would always take me with her. Not on anything overnight, but I really did understand that she needed that time to herself. Besides that, I was reaping just as many rewards as she was. I got a go-cart, purple even. Always a car enthusiast, the shiny red Grand Am was just as much of a perk to me as it was for her. We got to “go and do” a lot. My greedy little self got what I wanted when I wanted it.

My boyfriend has this need to give me the world. Damn it, I don’t want the world. I want to be loved for who I am, not what I have. I want his unconditional love, the love of my parents, my brothers, grandparents, and true friends. I dont want to be given rings and things and cars to appear happy to the world.

I want to actually be happy. I want people to know I am loved by how I act, not how I appear. Mary Kay does nothing for that need. It breeds liars and cheaters, or in the company’s words “go-getters”. Oh bite me!

No one, NO ONE, should ever go behind the others back to make more money, steal more consultants, hold more facials, book more classes. If they want to get together, do it. Focus on cleaning out your closet and holding a clothes swap. Who cares if one of you is a size 2 and the other is a 12? I’d still be willing to bet that something from the other closet would benefit the other in some way.

They twist and turn words to make the MK world glitter. Well, like they say, not all that glitters is gold. And if it is, you’ll drown in the sea of lies they feed you with that “gold” weighing on your heart.

As for the “God First, Family Second, Mary Kay Third” lie, I am sure that is what dear Mary Kay Ash had intended so many years ago. But when you become a nationally, if not internationally, known company you can almost be sure that thought is thrown at 50 mph out a 90 story building.

The “status” and “rewards” consume even the people who just sign up for personal use. They claw their way up the ladder of success and are blinded by the shiny pink cadillac on top. They don’t even realize they are stepping, crawling, spitting, sweating, hurting their closest friends and family members that jumped into this adventure with them.

I can remember being at a retreat and all of the other directors asking me if I was going to sign up when I turned 18, and become a director like my mom. I just smiled and lied through my teeth. I didn’t want to break their cute little pink bubbles.

What a disservice that was. I should have. Its pretty sad when a company can brainwash educated, adult women into thinking this is the one and only sure fire no catch way to money and happiness. I should have spilled my guts to them like I always did to my aunt after they’d ask. “Do I look stupid?” I’d ask my auntie. “They can try and sell the lie and bullshit to someone else, I see both sides of this deal. No way will I ever sign my free time, happiness, and good credit away on a pink dotted line.” Maybe I could have helped many of the other girls, had I just said what I knew in my heart. I thank God that I didn’t fall in to the shiny pit and that my mom realized the truth every time I think about it.

I guess in reality, I should thank the company and my mother. Yet again she stepped in front of me “in line” and tried something to make sure I couldn’t get hurt. She took the brunt for something I would have tried. She showed me that to be happy, you don’t have to have the biggest house, the best brand of clothes, or the coolest car. Thats another thing, she blames herself for. I drive my grandma’s old car. Not very far or anything. And no, I dont like it. The door doesn’t like to shut, the paint is chipping, and it smokes like a train. But my friends love it, the seats are like couch cushions, the sounds are entertaining, and it draws attention. lol…..but I dont care. I dont like it, but i dont care. She says because of “her” debt, they cant buy me a new car, but an almost new one by the time of graduation. Well see.

But anyway, I am still not blaming her. This nightmare seems to happen to many. And I just hope she knows that its not just her and she’s not a bad person. I have always said that I will never regret anything that once made me smile. She hates that saying and I dont know why. But either way, the decisions we make always give us something good, even if it is only a lesson. I hope she knows that.

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