Getting Your Wife Out of Mary Kay

mary-kay-profitWritten by Emanuel from Scandinavia

Mary Kay may not technically be a cult, but it has many characteristics of cults. My brother’s wife has been involved with Mary Kay, moving up into the ranks of a car driving sales director. They have four small children, and it is sad how little she sees of them, even as Mary Kay promotes itself as a way to be at home with the children. I provided the following advice to him.

If my wife was involved with Mary Kay, this is the strategy I would use:


I would tell her “Honey, your involvement with MK is putting financial stress on our family (see note at the end/bottom about MK ‘success’) and I would like you to stop using the family credit card for MK functions.  May I suggest that you find a part-time job (as a pharmacy assistant, coach, department store clerk, etc.) in order to pay for the expenses you incur as a result of MK ?”

[This is because there are so many different expenses that erode/eat-into the 50% mark-down/discount they get on the their product purchases; the high price of the products one one would have sell them for; and not to mention the ever increasing product inventory.]

If this plan does not help her to re-prioritize her life (how she allocates time and money), then follow…


I would tell her “Dear, I am very concerned about your finances around the MK consulting business.  I would like to ask you to hire a bookkeeper/accountant to help you keep track of your positive cash-flow and expenses for the following 3/6/9/12 months.  And then, at the end of the 3/6/9/12 I would like us two to sit down and look at the financial picture of your MK consulting business.”

[Here you decide on a definitive time span for this professional accounting/accountability, so you have a goal of when the reviewing of the books will happen.  You should also have her track ALL of her time spent on MK so that you will be able to figure how much she is making per hour. You may also want to agree that if she is not turning a profit at that time (or isn’t making at least $x per hour), she agrees in advance to leave Mary Kay. ]

If this hard facts analysis does not help her realize that she is working as a slave for MK (earning less then minimum hourly wages and netting annually less then the poverty line), then go for…


I would sit down with her and say “[Wife], I have been doing some reading about MK business practices and made a list here of some very dubious practices. I would like to ask you up-front if you OR your upline have ever used these tactics/techniques ?”

THIS plan requires some research and time reading online on your part, about all the complaints from current and former MK consultants about how impossible it is to continue in this business (climbing the ladder) without taking shortcuts and compromising oneself morally/ethically.

If the answer is YES, then I would say “This is highly unethical if not immoral, and it is very unbecoming of a Christian.  I would like you to repent of this, and stop your involvement in MK now!”

If the answer is NO, then proceed to….

PLAN D (last resort):

I would find a quiet place for the two of us to sit and tell her “Honey, I love you very much and want the best for our kids and family.  I have something very important and serious to tell you: Your involvement in MK is causing our kids, myself and our family great emotional/financial/time-management distress.  I would like you to make a decision today between your family (4 kids and I) and your MK family (business plans and associates).”

If her answer to this plan (Plan D) is “I choose MK family,”  I would recommend that you take the kids and leave the house ASAP and give her space and time to think things through.  You can easily afford a short-term rental (motel, hotel, apartments for commuters, etc.).  As a Christian, I also recommend that you NEVER consider divorce (or use that word), no matter how painful the emotional or financial loss of her involvement in MK business is to the family.

And in all things Pray for Wisdom from above, to know how to talk to her and approach her.

Financial success in MK IS possible (not probably, but still possible)… but the question is “At what price?”

How many hours dedicated away from family, and how many hours even when one is physically present at home is one’s mind on the MK business or MK affairs (emotionally absent from family)?  About the ‘success’ of the MK business here are some numbers found on Pink Truth which seem to be well documented in other places/sources also:

As for the “many many” women who are “incredibly successful” in Mary Kay…. In the United States there are about 300 to 500 women making “executive” income in Mary Kay.  There are a couple thousand making middle management income. There are another 5,000 to 8,000 making minimum wage.  Almost everyone else is losing money. This is out of 600,000 to  700,000 consultants in the United States. So the “many many” women being “incredibly successful” are about 400 out of 600,000 are 0.06% (that’s six one-hundredths of one percent). Wow. Impressive.


  1. pinkvictim

    So, you never actually had to deal with this yourself, eh? That’s the advice you gave your brother? How did it work out for him?

    If you understand that MKult is just that, and you really understand mind control, you would know that this approach has very little chance of actually working.

    From someone who has actually experienced and tried what you have written, this is a fantasy.

    Good luck in family court.

    1. Neverpink

      I have to agree. I can’t imagine this approach works because the MKult mind control removes the rational thinking process from the victim. This is like asking an alcoholic to have a rational discussion while 6 drinks in. You’re asking an irrational person to sit down with you and discuss things logically.

      I just can’t imagine this works.

  2. BartheDoor

    May I add something to this?

    When my friend who was deep into Mary Kay had this discussion with her husband and he showed her that she’d never made any money at it, in spite of 50 hour work weeks trying to find people after she burned through her warm market, she moved the goal post on him. It went from being about making extra cash (because she was actually losing far more than she made) to “enriching the lives of other women” instead.

    1. MLM Radar

      Some years back I had a close friend who got caught up in several MLMS, one after another.

      She was already predisposed to believe the “helping other women” angle because she was a True Believer in the Joyce Myers / Joel Olsteen / The Secret / Prayer of Janet health and wealth gospel.

      My friend could never make any money or recruit a viable team because she was focused on “helping” instead of preying on other women.

      I sat her down and made her look at the numbers, trying to convince her that she was being scammed, that she was drawing others into scams.

      It didn’t work. She really believed that God meant to bless her and others through these “name it and claim it” false preachers.

  3. raisinberry

    The thing this expert from Scandinavia does not realize is that Mary Kay DOES work!

    THAT is the problem! It is precisely why the woman can not give up and why they use the indoctrination that “the recruit you need is right around the corner”. You can be drowning but as long a you keep your “face ” on, that woman in the line at Target who smiled at you can be the very next prospect, sign up, and order 4,000 worth!

    Convinced that all you need to do is “more” of this kind of outreach (warm booking) what your Hubby says is irrelevant—because sometimes it works!
    Negativity does not make sense here in this SLOT MACHINE STYLE reinforcement.

    Try and talk any addict into coming to their senses! Sadly it usually takes a total crash and burn. The FASTER you can stop enabling and bring “the bottom” up to her, perhaps the faster she awakens.

    Imho, it isn’t HER business you need to expose! She can make millions of excuses. It’s her RECRUITS businesses. Have her look at all the women she brought in, their hopes and dreams, their activity and their subsequent debt. If you know your recruit ordered 1800.00 to start and sold a few 300.00 weeks and then died, you KNOW what kind of debt she is in and why she disappeared.

    Calculate the track records of all her recruits and ask her what their activity is…they stand every week in sales meeting for what they sell…we ALL knew what our recruits were selling for the most part. And we knew when they WEREN’T.

    You planned on “enriching” women’s lives?? How are you doing?? If you realize you have brought women in and were instrumental in making their situation worse, and you still shake the pom pom’s for Mary Kay…you are a fraud.

  4. Colleen

    Aside from the tone this stuck out and would have me digging in my heels. ,

    “And it is very unbecoming of a Christian. I would like you to repent of this, and stop your involvement in MK now!”

    Repent!!! But as a good Christian I shall not divorce you. Even if you are a sinner.

    Then again this would probably having me leave the church too.

  5. Pinkiu

    Be mindful that he is from Scandinavia, a different country with a different culture and different ways of being that North America. This method “may” work elsewhere. Who knows…

  6. Maru

    Hi I’m would like to know what is the opinion of this site with a recently new “kind of Lularoe” company called My amelia james.
    Asking because I thrust your work.

    1. MLM Radar

      If it’s a home-based business “opportunity” with a”great compensation plan” and/or unlimited potential earnings, it’s an MLM.

      And, therefore, it’s a fraud to be avoided.

    2. Lazy Gardens

      From their website … “In the coming months we will introduce our new Party Plan! This plan will allow you to earn additional income while connecting with others.”

      “get in at the ground level”

      Meaning they are planning to go MLM.


      1. MLM Radar

        “get in at the ground level”

        For consultants/distributors/directors, there is NO such thing as ground level in an MLM. Signing up during the pre-launch phase doesn’t change that.

        Ground level in an MLM means joining at the tippy-top 0.5% level. Those positions are always filled by the MLM organizers before they ever announce themselves. You’re not in that tippy-top bracket. You never will be.

        If you sign up during pre-launch you will still be subject to the same rules and pitfalls as everyone who joins after you. You may thing you have an edge because it’s a new product, but you don’t. After 60+ years, there is virtually no type of product that hasn’t already been sold through MLM.

        Telling you that you can get in on the ground floor is just another lie.

    3. Jamming Berry

      What about Cabi clothes? Has anyone heard of that company? I got invited to a “party” and was surprised it wasn’t LaLaRue style, but a “show” like a MK party. It was weird. I looked it up online and it had all the same drawbacks of other MLMs. I bought a pair of really pricey jeans, but don’t think I’ll make any more purchases.

      1. DivaDove

        Oh, yeah, CABI is just another MLM, but with insanely overpriced clothing that is mostly made in China. I went to my SIL’s house for one of these “shows” and tried on a couple of things I thought were okay, but when I saw the price tags, I burst out laughing. I figured I’d wait until the stuff started showing up at the Goodwill, and, sure enough, it has.

      2. DivaDove

        Oh, yeah, CABI is just another MLM, but with insanely overpriced clothing that is mostly made in China. I went to my SIL’s house for one of these “shows” and tried on a couple of things I thought were okay, but when I saw the price tags, I burst out laughing. I figured I’d wait until the stuff started showing up at the Goodwill, and, sure enough, it has.

      3. MLM Radar

        If it’s sold at a home “party” you can be almost 100% certain that it’s an MLM.

        In fact, I would go far enough to say that I’ll automatically prejudge it to be an MLM until proven otherwise.

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