Yes, the Mary Kay “Warm Chat” Does Hurt People

This story was sent in by one of our readers. She was “warm chatted” by a Mary Kay consultant, and was very hurt when she figured out it was all a recruiting tactic…

I am a mom of a 10-month-old boy, he’s the light of my life. Since I had him I have joined in a few activities for new moms in my neighborhood but haven’t found a lot of other moms I “clicked” with. Most of my existing friends don’t have kids yet, and I would really like to meet some moms to hang out with and have playgroups with as my kiddo grows up.

I love my friends that don’t have kids and hang out with them when I can, but those with kids know that your life changes completely, priorities change and when you no longer have all day to get pedicures, lunch and go shopping it’s hard sometimes to keep up with what’s going on with your friends who do have that kind of time. I would really like to make friends with moms who have the same values I do about what to teach kids, and so far it’s been difficult to find that in my area, although I keep looking.

The other day I was at the doctor’s office, tapping on my phone when a very nice-looking woman, about my age, asked me a question about it. We got to talking and she seemed so nice. She said she had two kids, a 3-year-old and a little boy just about my son’s age! We talked about toys, schools, etc. and it seemed like her priorities were really in line with mine. I started to get excited about the possibility of meeting a new “mom friend” I could really relate to. We talked developmental milestones, challenges etc. for about 15 minutes and I was getting ready to give her my card and suggest getting together for a playdate.

(I’m sure some of you know where this is going…)

Then, out of the blue, she says “Wow, you have really nice skin. I would love to do a facial for you sometime. Have you heard of Mary Kay? Do you have a Mary Kay consultant?”

I was totally let down. I stammered out something about trying the products a few years ago and feeling like they didn’t work for my skin (which is the truth).

She keeps at it. “Oh, the product line is different now and I am sure we could find something you would just love! And I would love to talk to you about becoming a Mary Kay consultant, it allows me to have so much more time with my kids,” (always a hot button with me as I work out of the house four days a week and have a fair amount of guilt about it, but my job provides our health insurance) blah blah blah.

This is probably silly, but I was really disappointed. I had thought I was making a new friend and it turns out I was being “warm chatted.” All I was to her was a mark, not another mom who she might have something in common with. I then tried to cut off the conversation but she kept going until I got called back to see the doctor.

I let her give me a card and I almost considered calling her, figuring that well, maybe if I did do a facial we could talk more and get to be friends. Then a friend of mine who is an ex-Mary Kay consultant told me absolutely not to call her, pointed me towards this site so I could find out why, and I am glad she did. I read about how MK salespeople find new “prospects” and realized that all the woman in the doctor’s office was doing was trying to suck me into this whole racket. My ex-consultant friend said the woman I was talking to may not even have a kid my son’s age, but made that up to get farther into the conversation before trying to hook me.

The more I read about MK the more disgusted I get. I wanted to share this side of the story – MK doesn’t just hurt feelings when you’re a consultant, it hurts the feelings of the people consultants “warm chatter” who feel duped and dumped when we find out the compliment, friendly conversation, etc. was all part of the sales pitch. I would have had so much more respect for the woman if she had come out and said “I sell Mary Kay, are you interested?” Because then I could have just said no. As it was I got my hopes up and wasted time talking to someone who had no interest in me unless I was going to buy her products or sign up as a consultant.

Thanks to all of you on this board who are out there speaking the truth, I hope more people will listen to it.


  1. PurpleH

    The fully-brainwashed don’t even know they are being fake. Every conversation IS a pathway to the 3 asks: facial? hostess? career info? She was working to find the common ground to find the reasons you need Mary Kay. Pink Bubble dwellers can only think this way, and haven’t had a real friendship for so long, they don’t know how. Very sad.

  2. Jamming Berry

    Oh the warm chatting. I could never do it, which is I’m sure why I couldn’t make it in Mary Kay. I just couldn’t bring myself to being dishonest to people about why I was pretending to “befriend” them at the store, kid soccer, the Dr office etc..

    My recruiter often talks of going to Starbucks or Target to have her “drawings” and contests (ie: fill out this little slip of paper and win a prize…) I could never do it and quite frankly, if someone approached me like this, I’d turn them in to the store management for soliciting. I’ve told her this — that she’s breaking the law with her soliciting, but I guess she doesn’t care.

    1. BestDecision

      My friend was pursued by a MK lady after signing up for a giveaway on a restaurant. She called and texted her incessantly. Desperation will drive all kinds of behavior!

  3. BestDecision

    12 Days of Christmas sets, finishing Star, registering for Leadership, securing a hotel room for Leadership…

    So, so many things I don’t have to put up with now that I’m out! And then the pressure of getting my datebook full for January when NO ONE wants to book.

    Merry Christmas to me for my big inventory refund that came at Christmas and for not being in MK anymore!

  4. Pink Jihad

    There have been times over the years I’ve been invited to a party (via email or Facebook) and start to get interested and excited and then realize as I keep reading that someone is just selling something (Mary Kay, essential oils, candles, some stupid health supplements)…then I am disappointed and let down. This has also happened during times in my life when I felt lonely and would have gladly gone to a “real” get-together with the person inviting me. I’ve turned down all these invites for the fake parties.

  5. Shay

    I understand they have to recruit others in to the pyramid because if MK products obviously doesn’t “sells themselves” , with that said, there are ways to recruit with out lying.

  6. Unnecessary sales behavior! Real prospecting for customers always begins with a normal introduction followed by the name of the business. If there’s a clear objection it’s always better to ask if they might know of someone who would be interested and either way, part with thanks and a business card for taking the time!
    The short time I did MK I wore the gold toned MK pin that came in the demo kit on my blouse collar with clipboard of photocopied sheets, burgundy MK appointment book and simply asked if any had heard of MK, explained the brand and asked if they would be interested in trying the skincare and cosmetics mentioning that if they invited up to 5 friends and any buy a full skincare set they could get theirs or any cosmetics at a 25% discount plus free product and if 2 or more buy they could get 3 items free as shown on the flier.
    Even though my little trial of MK didn’t earn me much and the inventory was sent back I would not feel right pulling the shenanigans described by this mother!

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