Put on Your Big Girl Panties

Written by Raisinberry

We have talked about the cult mentality and technique that Mary Kay sales leadership employs to draw in and convince women that the world of Mary Kay is the most wholesome and strengthening environment for women. Slogans designed to shut down objective thinking are repeated over and over until one repeats them to themselves.

Hiding behind the control of “positive attitude,” the faults and flaws of Mary Kay can’t be discussed and those who attempt it are shunned. What we do not notice is a reduction of our “standing” as an independent contractor. Inundated with slogans, we have a diminished capacity to evaluate what is really being said to us and believed about us. A woman who tells you to “put on your big girl panties” is mindlessly repeating a slogan that was said to her without ever evaluating what she is really saying.

Your objections, hardships, concerns and criticisms are reduced to one single thought. You are acting like a child, and you need to grow up and get a pair of whatever the women wear, who don’t complain and criticize or have concerns. Putting on your big girl panties is a vulgar and demeaning way to reduce you to nothing more than a whining baby in a diaper.

Let me ask you a question. In a professional environment, would your boss, male or female, EVER tell you that the answer to your concern that you have no leads or bookings is, “well put on your big girl panties and get to work”?

I mention this, because one of the reasons why Mary Kay is out of control in its abuse of women, is that very few women have actual success in this company. They believe (due to the positive mental attitude control tactic) that everyone ELSE does. So they adopt the sayings of all the noteworthy, stage hogs and repeat them without ever evaluating what they are really saying.

It is a combination of the lack of personal success, the “fake it till you make it” attitude, combined with mimicking those who are believed to be successful, that brings us this vast sea of mindless slogans that offer us no real help in the building of our so-called businesses.

From, “believe and achieve”, to “show up to go up”, “stars drive cars” to “if it is to be it’s up to me”, all this crafted sloganeering hides the grim reality that most of the “professional” sales force have no real leadership training, no real personal success selling this product, and no evaluation of their skills from a “National” or Corporate Sales Trainer that could have course corrected this nonsense long ago.

Masquerading as a cosmetics giant, Mary Kay, by its own behavior, admits that it is simply a large Cosmetics Day Care for hobby consultants who squeal and prance over the illusion of success and cheap prizes. And “managing” that production are the directors who believed the sloganeering and kept their mouths shut as to their lack of success, because they were certain that success was just a recruit away. They, after all, had earned their big girl panties when they finished DIQ.

I find it ironic that women who wouldn’t tolerate this kind of talk in a regular corporate environment do so from OTHER WOMEN! Mary Kay as a direct seller, escapes responsibility for attending to the leadership skills or lack thereof of the NSDs and sales directors. In essence, even directors are only taught, “book sell book recruit.”

That leaves the entire consultant sales force victim to the bad behavior, deceitfulness, manipulation and ignorance of those who are supposed to be teaching them. One look through the stories on this site will validate the fact that many NSDs are guilty of abuses of finances, spirituality, emotions, and leadership, through the way they communicate and the little concern they show for skills development in their downline.

After all, what skill does it take to write down the numbers of a credit card, hold a meeting, or dangle a prize to get guests to come hear a new batch of sloganeering?

And Mary Kay, Inc. is protected from responsibility, it seems, because we are all “independent”. How convenient.

It might be time to think of nothing else than for conviction to fall on every NSD and all of Mary Kay’s corporate staff. A real awakening of all the abuses on so many levels that this company has tolerated and looked the other way on, to the detriment of beauty consultants, probably world ide.

I mention this because I was told, that “what you think about you bring about.” I’d sure like to see if this is true.


  1. Cindylu

    I always hated this insulting slogan. Considering my SD was abusive to her husband and children, the many MK mindless phrases were particularly insulting. My SD’s husband bought her a huge house which he paid for. I’m sure her family rarely saw this narcissistic SD. Nearly thirty years later she is still just a SD. The MK catchphrases don’t pay the bills. Some of the hundreds of Directors who’ve walked across those stages left right after seminar when the empty praises and prizes were exposed to be given for no real sales.

    1. OnelessSD

      Cindylu… I too have always hated this expression. I am an adult woman, I deal with tough, complicated situations daily- no one needs to tell me this when a problem arises- ever. It’s demeaning.

      1. MLM Radar

        Before Mary Kay the only time I ever heard the phrase “big girl panties” was when potty training a toddler.

        Any grown woman who has the nerve to use the phrase “put on your big girl panties” to someone over age 3 needs to be dumped down the sewer herself.

  2. Crystalline

    I’ll never forget going to my National’s house for a Director holiday party. Only a few spouses attended. While in line for food, another director turned to my husband and said, “well it looks like you put your big boy panties on to attend this!” I was so embarrassed! That was the beginning of the end for my MK career. (AKA my expensive hobby that I’m still trying to pay the debt off) Thank goodness!!

  3. JanRD

    In a professional environment, would your boss, male or female, EVER tell you that the answer to your concern that you have no leads or bookings is, “well put on your big girl panties and get to work”?

    If that has ever been said to anyone in a workplace, I’m sure that HR was likely notified.

    Great article, Raisinberry!

  4. Still Breaking The Basic

    “And Mary Kay, Inc. is protected from responsibility, it seems, because we are all ‘independent’. How convenient.”

    Until you have a consultant who wants to creatively market her business to actually sell product. Then Corporate steps in and threatens to terminate her because she’s violating the consultant agreement. And all of the NSD-approved robot scripts.

    1. Char


      – The direct “seller” recruits her own customers who buy from corporate and not the seller, thus creating her own competition and saturation in the same market, which is encouraged and needed in order for her to advance.

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