Facts, opinions, and the real story behind Mary Kay Cosmetics.

Why Is Your Former Director So Distant?

Written by PinkPeace

One of our members was upset about the loss of a friendship. She was a good friend first, and a member of the sales director’s unit second. Upon leaving MK, she hasn’t heard from the sales director, even though she’s going through a hard time with an ill husband.

Giving your ex-SD the benefit of the doubt and assuming the best about her, I could see the following scenario:

She finds out her close friend is leaving Mary Kay. She is sad, because she has been friends with her for a long time, and she takes it a little personally that she won’t be working with her anymore. In addition, she’s worried about how her loss will affect her unit’s production. The unit’s not doing too well as it is, and now she’s really going to have to scramble to replace one of her top people (Anna).

Then the chargeback comes from your product return. OMG, it’s $1000 taken out of her check in one month! How is she going to pay her expenses this month? Can she really afford to put another $1000 on a credit card again? Her husband will KILL her if he finds out. But, she has to go to Seminar, right? I mean, she is a sales director and the speed of the leader is the speed of the gang. She prays that God will somehow bless her business, send the next superstar into her path and guide her into the success that’s hers, if only she will believe. And as Christian as she is trying to be, it’s really hard to be pleasant to someone who has just taken $1000 from you. She’ll give Anna a call in a couple of weeks when she’s feeling a little more Christ-like.

Meanwhile, Anna seems so happy and at peace. It’s like the weight of the world is off her shoulders. She’s starting to have fun with her family and friends, and has time for new interests that have nothing to do with Mary Kay. Must be nice. Wait, Anna’s gotten a job that she likes? Dang. With benefits, too.

Well, she’ll show HER. Doesn’t Anna know that Mary Kay is the best opportunity for women in the world? She may be happy working for someone else now, but one day she’ll regret leaving the SD, her unit and Mary Kay. Meanwhile, the SD can’t let on that anything’s wrong in the land of the pink. She’s going to focus, focus, focus to turn her unit around. She can’t spend time on people who aren’t going to help her get to her goal. Short-term sacrifice for long-term gain. Put those blinders on. Eyes on the prize.

She hasn’t seen Anna around for awhile. Well, her fault for throwing away a God-given opportunity. She hopes her former friend sees how much activity she’s doing so that, even if she can’t come back to Mary Kay, she’ll see all the success she’s missing. She can’t let on the truth about her mediocre unit, her constant lack of money, her fights with her husband. Nope – that is NOT painting the picture. You know, maybe it’s better that she doesn’t even call Anna. She can’t afford to be around negativity (truth).

Oh no, Anna’s husband is sick. Really sick. She should send a card or make a call or something. But she hasn’t talked to Anna in so long – it would really be awkward. Maybe stop by for a visit at the hospital? Well, they probably don’t want visitors. Besides, tonight’s her success meeting, tomorrow night’s the red jacket conference call, then there’s pizza & possibilities, then the NSD is coming to town for a big recruiting night . . . maybe next week.

Man, Mary Kay is getting to be such a drag. No one in her unit appreciates her and what a sales director has to go through to be successful. It’s a constant grind, not enough money and she seems to be losing friends. Wasn’t Mary Kay supposed to be executive pay for part-time work? Wasn’t every stranger just a friend you haven’t met yet? Why is she always stressed and depressed?

Time to pull out notes from last Seminar. What did she underline at that NSD-to-bee class? Oh, right.

Winners never quit and quitters never win.

God gives you valleys so that you can enjoy the mountaintops.

Never associate with someone you wouldn’t trade places with.

God has put you in Mary Kay for a foreordained reason. It’s not yours to question, it’s yours to obey.

Put on your big-girl panties and deal with it.

She sighs, sends up a prayer for abundance, and picks up the phone . .


  1. BestDecision

    Not one of my unit members or Director “sisters” have had contact which me since I left. All of them removed us from their Christmas card list. At first, it was hurtful because I thought our relationships were real and not just because I was in MK, but it became clear they really are so deep in it that they want nothing to do with a quitter. And I know, without a doubt, some of them have lied to their units and my own about why I left.

    That’s okay. Within 2 weeks of leaving, my first paycheck was greater than I made as a Director, and it was ALL mine. Not more expenses. No more begging people to go to Seminar. No more silly prizes to hunt for and buy. Can’t believe I ever associated with them.

  2. Char

    “She sighs, sends up a prayer for abundance, and picks up the phone . .”

    …and calls Anna. But what is the SD secretly thinking? Perhaps this thought bubble:

    ‘If Anna husband dies, she’s really going to need something to fall back on. Maybe I should stay in contact often. Later, I can remind her that owning her own business, Mary Kay, will be just what she needs. She could devote all her time and work even harder without distractions now……….. and she could help get me to the next level. She might even collect life insurance and have extra money to spend on stocking her store.’

    Horrible as that sounds, I wonder how many, not realizing that they are so deep in the fog, have had this very thought enter their minds? Or some version of it? I know I’ve seen Facebook posts preying on hardship. Barf.

  3. DonewithMK666

    My senior director made no secret about it she sent a letter to all of my sister directors forbidding them them to speak to me and the only reason I found out is because one of them felt guilty and sent me a copy of the letter! If that doesn’t scream cult I don’t know what does!!!

    1. JanRD

      Imagine a job with an employer who controls your social life when you are not being paid to be at work. I hope that sister director’s guilt eventually led her to get out of the PInk Cult.

  4. Pink wink

    “Never associate with someone you wouldn’t trade places with“

    Do women in Mary Kay really say this? This is about the most arrogant, un-Christian thing you could do or say. Unbelievable.

    1. Autumn

      No, they don’t. They say never take advice about a subject from someone that you wouldn’t take advice from on that subject. Whether it be MK, marriage, relationships or whatever. Seek wise counsel. If someone is succeeding in an area then it’s wise to ask the successor.

      1. TRACY

        So never seek marriage advice from someone who is divorced? Because obviously they were not successful in marriage, so they have no valid advice to give. That’s nonsense, actually.

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