I Will Match My Time With Your Effort

Written by SuzyQ

This is a favorite line from directors to new consultants. I love this line. It’s used so frequently, and it has sort of moved from myth status to urban legend. Gee, it even appears on some top director’s web sites and Facebook pages, so it must be true!.

And it only makes sense, doesn’t it? Of course the director will want to work with those who are really working. It sounds so logical, yet we know that in the Mary Kay world, nothing is quite the way it seems.

What the phrase really means is this… IF, you as a new consultant agree to:

  1. Attend all weekly meetings, with recruitable guests
  2. Attend all area events and retreats
  3. Attend all company sponsored events (unless, of course, you are dilating or dead)
  4. AND order a decent amount of initial inventory (meaning at least a STAR order, $1,800+)

THEN, as your director, I will match my time with your effort. Sort of.

If you order more than $1,800, I may actually attend, and perhaps, “do” your business debut for you. At this gala event, I will attempt to recruit every guest you have invited. Please understand that I absolutely know that I am trashing your warm market and easy sales, but this is in your best interest.

As you will learn, your sales (even to your warm market) are like an ATM in your basement. BUT, recruits are your retirement and YOUR national area! And recruits are so much better. I understand about the 4% commission on recruiting ordering thing vs. the 50% profit thing, but really, trust me. As you go up the career ladder, you will understand this concept better.

My matching time will probably consist of emails or text messages that I send out to you on a weekly basis. It is so very wonderful, really! Sometimes I have my assistant send them out, but they sound like I sent them myself! Anyway, I have everything set up so they are sent out on a timely basis. You will get special attention during your 7th week, because MK has told us about this being kind of a rough week for you, so watch for those special messages, okay?

My matching time also includes special attention at my meetings. Some people call this “Love Bombing,” I call it special attention. Much hugging, clapping, winking, smiling. Wow. You are secretly thinking you are the next best thing, and you WILL be, until the next next best thing comes to the meeting.

My matching time also includes phone calls and messages left for you. This is so strange, because it will seem like I never directly talk to you, but I will leave great messages on your voicemail. It’s just that I call when I am pretty sure you are not going to answer, and I don’t really have to talk directly to you to let you know that I am matching my time with yours.

My matching time sometimes includes phone calls that you actually will be able to answer. When you call and leave me a message that you had a class cancel, or someone ordered something you don’t have, or your new recruit won’t take your calls, this special time on the phone together will bring laughter (I have been there, too, but my disappointment was greater than yours) and some tears (You know, if MK was easy, everybody would do it, and I believe in YOU) and some concrete plans (When this happened to me, I talked to my director and she told me to get on the phone and book 3 classes and it changed my business, and by golly, it will change yours, too) And guess what? I will send you another email or text message! Watch for it!

There is a limit though, after you do your initial star order, and I do your debut or not, and send that message and return one of your calls, my focus will have to be directed towards someone else. It’s the nature of the business, it’s not personal. We work the numbers. You were a number, and took some of my limited time, and as you may or may not know, I have a personal business to run, in addition to being your director, and I have to attend to that, too. And that’s the excuse I will use, you will think I am really pretty wonderful, and hopefully will have at least a little tinge of guilt for bothering me in the first place.

My matching time may, however, include a lunch with me (wow) if you decide to go into DIQ. This is music to my ears. I am torn though— it you actually make it, I get an offspring and a step closer to becoming a National. On the other hand, if you don’t, I get more people in MY unit. And am I pumped about you being on target for a car? You betcha! That’s $4,500 I can count on for my unit production each month. Whoo-hoo.

But remember, I only meet my goals when I “help” a lot of other women meet their goals. And I will match my time with yours (at least on the phone) as I explain how to be “A make a way, find a way kind of woman.”

So, I will match my time with your effort so long as it is helping my bottom line, increasing my unit production, getting more attention from our NSD and I have some time to kill. Pink Hugs and HUGE BEElief in YOU!


  1. Susan Hubbard

    Yup. I realized my effort wasn’t being matched real quick.

    Compared to other units, my director was actually all right, but I knew when I was dropped for the next new person. I tried hard like most of us with no results and was quickly pushed aside.

  2. pinkblacksheep

    Yep, I got all kids of attention and winks as I ran from consultant to Grand Achiever Director in 9 months. Then I stopped asking “how high” when she said “jump.” I became the troublemaker and the reason she didn’t hit NSD before her 65th birthday. Nevermind that a huge part of why I stopped running and stopped listening to her was entirely her fault. One day in March 2018 (this is how much this hurt me, that I remember the month and year), one month after my Director debut, she told me I was “too much” and “making the other consultants feel bad” when I shared that I met goals. Funny how that was “inspiring” while I was in DIQ. It took 2 years of therapy for me to get back to where I saw my personality as an asset again, and where I stopped thinking there was something wrong with me. By the end, I got no contact from her at all, even when I requested a buyback form. Mary Kay is incredibly toxic in so many ways.

      1. pinkblacksheep

        I completely agree. Our personalities were polar opposites. I legit think she felt threatened by me. Which is sad. I often thought about how her behavior would have been seen if she were my manager in one of my past corporate jobs. I would have reported her to HR. But in Mary Kay, the gaslighting tells us we’re the problem. So we keep that smile on (pretend you’re clenching a pencil between your teeth, she said) and pretend we’re loving the bubble.

  3. Cindylu

    My SD convinced me to do a bride and her party on the wedding day. I was terrified. I had only been with MK for a few weeks and knew virtually nothing about glamor. I insisted that my mk SD show up to help. My plan was to quit MK if my SD didn’t show. I was part way through when my SD appeared. She did an awkward and rudimentary make over session that was barely passable. The make over was embarrassing. I wish she hadn’t shown up so I would have quit earlier. The sad part is just how fake my SD actually was. She really didn’t care about anyone but herself. I believed in the founder of MK. I believed the slogans. I believed that this company was about helping others. I had never encountered a blatant system of recruiting disguised as a business opportunity. It truly is frightening that this narcissistic bullying mlm has survived for so long. My SD has not been successful in over thirty years. Her habitual tactic was to have a weird smirk and simply look down on everyone. She went through DIQ’s as though they were some kind of object. With my SD there were no boundaries. There was manipulation, cruelty, condescension and exaggeration. Things were important to my SD including: Pink Cars, trips, jewelry, accolades, bragging about meeting MK herself and her home. (Which her husband paid for). In the end I got sick and MK’s true nature appeared. No one cared. Not my SD and not MK itself. MK recruits are just pawns to be flattered, blamed, abused and manipulated (Even using our Religious or spiritual beliefs to control us). This mlm is scary very scary. Once I left it took a while to get over the trauma of being in such an embarrassing organization. It was sad that my supposed MK friends were now avoiding me.

    1. Heather

      ^^ ALL OF THIS. The weird smirks, crazy affirmations, the condescending attitudes, the manipulation…. merde, it was enough to make you NUTS. During my last few months of being an SD, all of this nonsense hit me like a ton of bricks. One of my unit members, who lived close to her, attended her meeting with a guest. (No biggie – keep it in the family tree, right?) My team member and her friend called me on their way home, beyond livid at my senior’s behavior. She was the most condescending, narcissistic person the guest had ever met. I was appalled and embarrassed because I had played up my senior as being someone amazing.

      Yeah, an amazing train wreck. She is an attorney and has a Ph.D. in psychology, so she KNEW exactly what she was doing. She KNEW how manipulative MK was and continued to perpetuate it.

  4. Char

    To be a leader in MLM is to be a top scammer. You do not succeed unless you are a skillful liar, as MLM is an inherently flawed method. Repeating a lie is still…a lie.

    Why do you want that type of person’s attention at all? Why would you want them, directors, to teach and help you? Why would you subject your friends and family to the likes of her? Why do you worship her? Do you really want to be a top scammer?

    If you perceive Mary Kay to be something it is not, you will operate accordingly and delude yourself. Stick to the facts from third-parties. Obviously, she who benefits from you spending money isn’t going to have your best interest in mind. She has ‘her’ best interest in mind – even if she is convincing herself otherwise. If it was your best interest, she would not have you spending your money for her to make a commission. She is not your friend; you are her income.

    She will lie to you, or repeat a lie. Is she selling you to be a Mary Kay sales rep? That’s Lie #1. Because why then is she selling you the “opportunity”? Shouldn’t she be walking the talk and selling you product?

    Again, why would you want to be her?

    The difference between blatant thievery and a scam/con? A scam convinces you that the endeavor is legitimate. “Con” is derived from “confidence trick“. How confident are you that being a Mary Kay “sales” consultant is legitimate? Have you investigated third-party information, or are you just listening to those upline directors who have a vested interest in you?

    Why not test her? Ask her to help you resell your already bought inventory. Tell her you don’t want to recruit and just want to make your own 50% profit. See how well that goes over. See how much help you get.

    Reread today’s article! We are saying the same thing, but I and others are more blunt. That doesn’t change the facts – even if it makes you uncomfortable. It’s tough love my friends. I don’t want you to be a scammed willing-victim, and I don’t want you to become a scammer yourself!

    Why the passion? Go to the FTC’s website:

    “The fundamental flaws discussed in this and prior chapters are confirmed with this analysis. At the very least, it is safe to conclude that MLMs are not legitimate income opportunities. Recruitment-driven MLMs are truly scams. As a business model, MLM is likely the most successful con game of all time. The very people who are out recruiting are themselves victims until they run out of money and quit. And because victims seldom file complaints, law enforcement rarely acts. It is a vicious cycle, No complaints, no law enforcement action; no law enforcement action, no complaints. So the game goes on.”


    There is a caveat in that quote. If you are a truly “successful” MLMer, you are no longer a victim. You are in cahoots with the scamming company.

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