I Am Going to Miss Awards Night!

Written by Raisinberry

I was digging in my closet and found a beaded gown wrapped in plastic. Just south of the hanger was a pair of sparkly shoes with a 3 inch heel. Memories flooded my mind of that magical night in Dallas, when the Arena was dark and we raced to our seats… running up the ramp into Section 21, passing the food stand and being greeted at the door with our official program of all of tonight’s winners.

At one Awards night, we got a slender penlight with fiber optic fringe shooting out of it, reminiscent of the flaming bic “give us another song” lighter days. Once we got a mini hand clapper that saved our bruised and reddened palms from non-stop clapping. But tonight we were going to have to rely on our own sweaty palms and get ready for the “greatest night of our lives.”

We squirm in our seats waiting for the music to cue, and the lights to go up. On the screen there is a lone female runner… running to an inspirational can-do music theme. Over obstacles, sweating and strong, she runs holding a torch blazing in the setting sun. BAM! The back of the arena doors open and THERE SHE IS!!! THERE SHE IS!!! She comes off the screen to appear on the floor of the SEMINAR ARENA… running up to the stage under a lone spotlight and singing, holding her torch high!!! She brings the house down!

The music crescendos – all hearts are full! We feel her triumph! We know her dreams! She has made it! She has made it into our hearts and into our minds! She is a champion!! She is US! She is who we want to be!! Applause roars and the pyrotechnics go off and the dancers come out and she finishes her song as streamers and confetti and music herald her achievement!

She can do it because she never gives up! We can too! We collapse into our chairs, teary eyed and exhausted…WOW! We collectively say. WOW! Mary Kay Cosmetics, who has the greatest conventioneer staff known to man, has crawled into our hearts and pulled our strings. And backstage, a production supervisor chortles his delight. Hook, line and sinker. In a 4 minute number, the entire audience has been hooked like a school of flounder, and they didn’t even notice the bait.

We watch our Nationals come down the stairs as the gloved and tuxedoed staff personnel lend them a graceful hand. From now till midnight it will be one long fade in and fade out of hand clapping with an occasional trip to the bathroom or snack bar. We know the drill, but there is always that musical number from the “Friends of Tyme” that will disrupt our boredom, along with the occasional stair tripping episode that gives us an adrenaline jolt.

We oooh and ahhh the seminar dresses and go slowly mad with the switch off of male and female announcers who chant, ‘Lets hear it for Suzi Quzy…and from Madison, Wisconsin, Joany Baloney! Keep those hands clapping for Floozy Doozy, and from Nashville Tennessee, let’s welcome Gertha Grits! We count up the entire number of court winners in an attempt to stay focused and determine how many are left. Can we make it? And now the top ten!

When the tippy top of Court of Sales get their night in the spotlight, they line the stage and Number 3,2, and 1 stand alone waiting for the Queen to be announced. Drum roll please! Our Queen is Christy Creditmaximus from Stockyard, Kentucky! Applause, applause as we grunt to stand in such close quarters, barely able to, because our feet are swollen, bloody stumps of their former selves.

Christy’s family gets to come out now as she gets her tiara and flowers, and as her National commends her performance, we get to hear a word from Christy, who will tell us all how she did it and we can’t wait! She thanks her Director, her National, her customers, her husband and family, and she proudly tells us WE CAN TOO! YEA!!! Her husband gets the microphone to tell us how proud he is of Christy! YEA! We love him! More applause!! The kiddos are here too! And how cute they are, and we miss our own babies at home! With a mix of tears and applause we watch them leave the stage and get ready for the next long list of names to be announced as the night of spectating dresses and waiting for stairtrips continues.

The Big Girls are up. After the first Unit Clubs parade through, the Trip ($650,000) Directors and extended trip Directors ($800,000 and up) get their on stage applause… and once again, the TOP TEN. The Million Dollar Units stand alone and Number 3 is called… then Number 2 and now we know! NUMBER ONE in ALL OF THE YADA YADA SEMINAR IS… Melody Frontloader!!! Melody hugs her National as they head to the throne!

She knew she was 1 or 2 because Corporate called her to make sure her family would be there. Can’t do the full production number without making sure hubby is there to tear at the audience’s heart strings! Her heart is beating so hard! It’s all too much! She collects herself and thanks GOD for blessing her business and her awesome Unit! She asks them to stand and the house lights go up! Tomorrow we will applaud them again as they come out on stage, but tonight we get a mini version of her speech, where she tells us exactly how she did it! And we can’t wait! They hand her the microphone and she says, “It was just an amazing year! We set the goal last July to do the Million and that’s what we did! I owe it all to my fabulous Unit who stayed focused and kept going even when it didn’t seem like we could make it!

We needed $45,000 on the last day even with double credit, and by 11:58 it was all there!! I can only thank GOD for giving me a vision and a purpose to enrich women’s lives! YEA!! Applause, applause! Her hubby gets the microphone to tell us all how proud he is of Melody! We love him! More applause! Her kiddos say “I love you mommy” into the microphone and we burst into tears! We miss our kids… We want that adoration from our husbands! With a mix of tears and applause we watch them leave the stage, and get ready for the long line of women waiting to get on the buses to go back to their hotels.

Ah, what a night! I got so much out of it. I saw dresses and got swollen feet, and sang to some oldies. I got to pee in a men’s bathroom with my beaded dress hiked up off the filthy floor. My hands got sore and red from all that clapping and since I had to suck down a Starbucks to stay awake, I wont be sleeping well tonight! But no matter—I can’t sleep anyway!

I ruined a great pair of pantyhose ‘cause I had to walk back barefoot dragging my beads on the ground. By the time the bus got us back to the hotel, the elevator lines had a 10 minute wait, and I overheard a woman talking about the NUMBER ONE UNIT in all of Mary Kay. She was so excited to walk on stage tomorrow but wondered how she was going to pay the bill for the hotel, since she and her team “helped” the unit by maxing 5 or 6 of their credit cards.

I love to reminisce. Yes. I surely will miss Awards Night this year… only THIS year… it’s on purpose!


  1. Was the runner wearing a knee-length skirt, pantyhose, and high-heeled sneakers?

    Were the ladies’ rooms just as icky because of “hovering” women who didn’t clean up after themselves?

    What dire threats did Melody Frontloader visit upon her family to ensure they’d keep up the facade?

    Was your Starbucks a grande in a venti cup? 😛

    So many questions!

    • Not high-heeled sneakers but…

      Bad Sneakers,
      Not a whole lot of money to spend.

      (With apologies to Steely Dan)

    • Yay, I got a downvote! There must be a bathroom hoverer lurking around here. Or Chelsea Claytor 😉

  2. You forgot about the ultra-glamorous ride in a stretch limousine with 17 other women and no air conditioning. Ah, Seminar…

  3. About a year or so ago, I found several of my beaded gowns from previous Seminars and other events. I remember looking at them in a state of disbelief and sadness. Why did I still have them and why did I think these gowns were beyond beautiful (although the one with the art deco designs on it still is to me)? I sold them (cheap) to a couple of drag queen friends who now use them in their shows.

    • That reminds me of that episode of Night Court where Mac’s wife gets suckered into buying a boatload of ripoff Mary Kay makeup to sell, and he unloads it by selling it to a troupe of drag queens whose own makeup got confiscated as evidence.

  4. Ah, Raisinberry–those clever names. I am snort laughing over “Christy Creditmaximus from Stockyard, Kentucky!” You have outdone yourself with this post.

  5. I loved how everyone in the audience was hanging on every word from the successful nationals, hoping to hear the secrets to their success, and received… silly, useless platitudes.

    That’s what happens when the “secrets” of exploitation, coercion and manipulation are too shameful to say out loud.

  6. Wow, Raisinberry, just wow. Great job capturing the essence of the emotional manipulation employed at Seminar.

    If attendees could actually see the cumulative losses represented in that room, the right kind of tears might actually get shed. Especially if they rolled out the consultants with the “top 10” greatest life-time MK losses, showing the amount of the loss on the big screen as they walked across the stage.

    Oh wait…don’t they already do this (minus the big screen)? How much do you want to bet these would be the very same ladies they are celebrating for Court of Sales? Showing the life-time losses for each consultant as they cross the stage just might bring the right kind of tears for those ladies.

  7. I posted this question last week, but I figured people probably already stopped looking at that post by now, so forgive me if you already read this on Friday’s post.

    Just wondering, at the Mary Kay annual Seminar, do they have anything like those stupid “Night Owl” meetings they had at Amway conventions? Basically another event after dinnertime, after a whole day of events and you’re already tired, they have some other type of meeting that goes well into the night, like two or three AM. It’s supposed to be about more secrets on selling and building your business but it is likely nothing more than a well documented sleep-deprivation technique so you won’t think for yourself and you’ll be that much more loyal to the Amway cult and think MLM is so great. It all comes down to mind control and not much different from what Jim Jones of Peoples’ Temple or David Koresh of the Branch Davidians (and of course Amway) did. Does Mary Kay do anything like that at Seminar, or any other regional meetings?

    • As far as I know, Charles, corporate doesn’t do anything like that. Some nationals may pull their areas into late-night things, but I never saw corporate do it. There was plenty of sleep deprivation going on without it, though.

      • Seminar is 3 days of sleep deprivation with sensory overload, it is exhausting! Yes MK is into sleep deprivation and then they shove in you a cattle call for food. It is planned to wear you down to make decisions. HEY let’s buy 5000. of inventory, am so pumped up and tired! And the vendor crap looks better when you are tired.

    • Yes we did have “after parties” after Awards night. At the time I didn’t realize the tactic of deprivation was actually a thing. They really had to cement your loyalty by thwarting any doubt…it is still hard to believe that those women “above” us were intentionally abusing us for cash.

  8. So what happens if you don’t have a husband or kids to trot out into the stage? I happen to be childfree and while my husband is amazing and supports me but he would never consent to being on stage like that and I wouldn’t make him do it.

  9. Leadership Conference 2023 is in Nashville. Many years have passed since the last fiasco there. Hope MK Inc has learned!

  10. “Christy Creditmaximus” XD XD

    I attended a couple of seminars in Madrid, Spain, where I live and even after leaving MK I always say that the MK seminar is something that everybody should experience at least once in their lives XD, and I’m sure that “our” seminars are not so “luxurious” as the one in Dallas…

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