Another Day of My Mary Kay Awakening

Written by Raisinberry

About a year after I left Mary Kay, I found myself in a salon with a few other women. I’ll never forget the conversation. One lady got to talking about the “jewelry” party she was invited to, and I kept quiet, trying to get a “feel” for the temperature of yet another home party MLM.

The ladies began to chime in, and the comments made me want to sink into a hole.

Once again, I found myself coming face to face with something I had either denied or never thought of concerning our Mary Kay world. The woman speaking shared how she was “baited” into coming to this friend’s house by her friend who shared that “she must come and see so and so’s new home… it is just beautiful… she doesn’t have to buy anything, just come and see it….

The remarks that followed made my stomach turn. The woman sharing, (we’ll call her Sue) went on to say, “She never has even visited my home, and she wants me to come see another friend of hers home and do this overpriced jewelry thing…” Another woman said, “Oh she doesn’t want you to see her home, she probably promised her friend that she would get some guests there and she figures she’ll use something that will work on you… you probably like fancy houses?”

“Yes, I do check out models from time to time… So you mean she is just manipulating me to be there at the party, not being thoughtless?” She smiled as if she couldn’t figure out which was worse.

“Oh yea, that’s what they do. No one wants to go to those party things… the purse one is outrageous! So they have to guilt you into coming or bait you into coming, and you go and of course you have to buy so she can get her free stuff. I paid $75 for a purse that is just cheap… and I could kick myself”

Another woman spoke up. We’ll call her Marge.

“I have a friend who holds every kind of party all the time. She said to me, ‘Why don’t you come over… I never see you, have some fun and talk and just relax.’ And you know what I said to her? Why don’t you ever invite me over without the party thing, when nobody can talk much to each other anyway? If she misses seeing me, why does she only think of me to be at the party where I have to come and buy the cheapest thing I can find and she gets free stuff for doing it?”

“I just hate being asked to go, but if you go… then they ask you to hold one too, and I just tell them that I don’t want to put my friends in that position.”

“The stuff is always over priced, and for the most part cheaply made for the price they want, but that isn’t the worst part. Once you are on the mailing list, you will be bugged to join up and sell.” Said Marge.

A collective groan went up from the group. I said nothing, except, “All Multi-level product pyramids are the same, and you would be wise to stay away from them.”

I couldn’t say anymore. I couldn’t say “I speak from insider experience… I can tell you what is really going on and how much money is lost, and how manipulative they are and how cultish they behave.” I couldn’t speak because once again I was left in a deep sadness and awareness of how blind I had been, how much I fantasized that booking with me was what someone wanted to do-not something I manipulated out of them with any number of bogus challenges and contests.

I told myself they loved working with me, and I know many of them did once I was there, but that doesn’t change that most likely they secretly dreaded the fact that I put them in that position to be unable to deny me.

For this article’s sake, I have edited the fullness of these ladies’ remarks. The overall effect was to silence me in my shame. These were great ladies who felt safe enough in this environment to honestly share how hurt they were to be manipulated, used and financially abused so that Holly Hostess could get all she ever wanted in free stuff, off their purchases. Holly Hostess was trained in the “con”, just the consultants were. And just like Directors make their money off beauty consultant purchases, Hostesses as well, get their “compensation” off who they can manipulate into attending and buying.

I guess I had never considered that not only were we consultants trained and hurt by Mary Kay manipulation, but we also extended that reach out to the general public. They don’t talk about it either, I learned. Not to the consultant’s face. But when the subject comes up in a safe space, where there are no women with scripts, trained in overcoming objections, and where the women can say what they really feel, the truth comes out. They hate being asked or manipulated to hold the parties and they hate having to show up at other’s parties (having been manipulated by the hostess) to prove what a good friend they are.

It’s a terrible position to be placed in when the attendance is so small that whatever you buy or don’t buy will be well known… and whether Holly gets what she wants, depends on how willing you are to fork over your credit card. See why customers make the best consultants? They are pre-trained.

I should also add that these ladies aren’t “negative.” They’re honest.

Kinda like here at Pink Truth… but without the abuse of friendship.

6 COMMENTS

  1. Authenticity is in demand these days precisely because it is in such short supply. MLM companies deeply depend on and promote its opposite. Lets hope the great awakening away from the fake world of social media will extend to the equally fake world of MLM success.

    10
  2. One of the most overused lies/quotes I heard while in MK and definitely lived by: ““What will people say” is the sentence that has killed the most dreams.”

    At first it’s “only trade places with people you’d trades lives with”.. so don’t care what anyone says or thinks. Then it’s “you’re so close to a goal just do what you have to do”.. then you start really killing your reputation and worse, your witness. Then you’re even closer to a goal and even deeper in debt so it’s “they weren’t really friends to begin with, I don’t need them” and suddenly people don’t matter and you do whatever you have to do in desperation.

    I feel bad for them. No one signed up for this. It’s just what happens.

    I hated booking and holding parties. I held maybe 10 in my 9 years. I was just very personable and relatable which made me a great recruiter. Downside of that was I hated parties so my unit rarely had parties too since I led by example. No one ever fully lasted. At least people around town don’t hate us. *side note: 10 parties = 5 cars, diamonds, trips, Kate spade.. what a joke.

    • That is a joke! I loved holding parties! Usually, I did at least one every week, often I did 3. I rarely missed $300 in sales every week, and usually had at least one $1,000 week a month. I interviewed all my hostesses and recruited a lot of them.

      And you know what? In 14 years, I was a director for less than one, and NEVER made director production that I didn’t overorder myself.

      Who did it “The Mary Kay Way”? If book, coach, sell, recruit really worked, I would have had trips and jewelry. Yet more proof that it doesn’t.

      • Yeah I was decent at sales. People would buy from me enough. We just skipped the party part. Gave me soooo much anxiety. And when I did do parties it took forever and it wasn’t worth my time being away from home. I recruited people in the checkout line, moms at the library, people seeing me on fb.. had tons of big inventories which helped me. I sold the business better than the products (that’s the devastating hole the company is in). I heard Gloria mayfield banks say she told people she was a recruiter for MK and I ran with that. GMB’s way backfired.

  3. “And you know what I said to her? Why don’t you ever invite me over without the party thing,”

    After moving to another state having left MK long behind, I was looking forward to getting to know women in our new church. Except…the mlm parties. The only time I got invited to anyone’s house for the most part was mlm parties. And every time, I said, I don’t attend mlm parties. However, I’d love to come over any other time. They stopped asking and I never got invited to any other kind of gathering for the most part outside of church. Why do women think that it’s not worth having people over unless they get something in return? Isn’t friendship enough of a return?

    • It’s a busy world and people can’t slow down. Everyone is doing every sport and keeping up with everyone else. Even in church. Sabbath isn’t holy anymore. I’d love to rock on a front porch with you. Outside of my homeschool mom community, no one wants to slow down. It’s unfortunate for them. Can’t be healthy.

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