Get Ready for the Seminar Blues

Written by Frosty Rose

Late July finds droves of intrepid Mary Kay beauty consultants eagerly preparing for the be-all-end-all of experiences in Mary Kay—Seminar!

For the blissfully uninitiated, this is when consultants and directors come together to spend 3-5 days in the very last place anyone wants to be in July—Dallas—which will be “turned pink” for weeks as thousands of consultants cycle through this indoctrination. They will learn the secrets of getting ahead in Mary Kay (some will finally figure out that the secret is lie and cheat). And they will spend valuable girlfriend time at the feet of the company greats.

But beware. There are some things you need to know about coming to seminar—how to dress, how to act, how to fit in, and, importantly, how to avoid the “seminar blues.” I know, I know. The last thing you want to do when you’re preparing for an exciting getaway is focus on what your “re-entry” period will be like, but this is a must for any successful business woman!

What, you ask, are the seminar blues?

Like many things in the pink fog, it’s fairly innocuous on the surface. It’s the few days when you come back from Seminar, faced with the reality of your life and business. If you’re not careful, all that reality (read: negativity) will burst your pink bubble and fill you with dismay that maybe this isn’t the greatest opportunity out there for women.

Seminar blues are a kind of culture shock—you’ve spent days cocooned in pink positivity, hearing from nationals and top directors about how they made it to the top and how you can, too! You just have to have the right attitude, the right work ethic, a high enough deserve level. Get those few things fixed, and you’ll be unstoppable, just like she is. But then you come home, and everything’s just the same (or slightly messier if you have kids) as when you left. Your customer base is the same, your team is the same, everything is the same. And “the same” didn’t earn you diamonds or a top director trip last year, so what makes you think it’ll work this year? Well, that, my dear, is just negative thinking! Everything is not at all the same! Because you have a new attitude, and you MUST protect this new you at all costs.

So, how do you do that? Well, we have some very good tactical advice from a top Mary Kay director that’s just for you!

1. Before you leave for seminar, have 20 appointments booked and confirmed for the 2-3 weeks after you get back. You’ll be so busy with appointments that you won’t have time to focus on the negativity around you! Wait, you’ve never had 20 appointments in a two-week period in your whole life? Well, that’s just laziness. Get over yourself!

The insider trick to this tip is this: If you do manage to get those 20 bookings, you’ll be so busy, you can’t focus on the negativity (read: reality) of your situation. You won’t remember the sinking feeling of yet another motivational speech from a narcissistic wanna-be influencer that just regurgitates the same meaningless tripe. If you don’t manage to get those 20 bookings (spoiler, you won’t), you’ll be so convinced that it’s your own fault that you’ll frantically try to get your activity up, creating a frantic busy-ness, which creates the inability to focus on the let-down that Seminar really was.

2. Pre-coach well. Prepare your hostesses so all those 20 bookings hold. They didn’t hold? (They never do!) Well, it’s all your fault. Get to work, you lazy loser! More guilt, more shame, more victim blaming.

3. Follow through on strategic communication with key people. Take phone numbers and addresses of the key  customers and recruits that you need to talk to in Dallas. Send them a postcard while you’re there. Call them from the airport on your way back. Your enthusiasm will be contagious! Between the training classes, celebrations, outings with your director, awards with your national and every other thing you can think of, you won’t have time to breathe while you’re in Dallas, and we all know how conducive airports are to phone calls, so this is an automatic set-up for failure. But, again, if you can’t make this happen, it’s all your fault. And you have no one to blame for your failure except yourself.

4. Prepare to handle “re-entry.” Promise yourself that you won’t be distracted when you get home. (Can you hear my eyes rolling yet?) Hire a babysitter and a housekeeper to maintain your life while you chase your goals. Use the profits from your sales to pay for these things. Wait, you aren’t earning that much, or anything, from your sales and you’re hesitant to drop even more money after you just spent $1,000+ in Dallas? Negative nelly. Just work harder—this opportunity works if you do!

5. Bring your husband with you to the next meeting. Let him be appropriately indoctrinated. Spend more money on a babysitter, drag him kicking and screaming, and let him see what you see. Uh oh, all he saw was a bunch of over made-up fakers? He’s just being negative, don’t share anything with him anymore if he can’t support you!

Seriously, folks. All of this adds up to a trap to keep you constantly moving, never reflecting, never evaluating. And if you do start to think, you know, when you lay down at night and everything’s quiet and you can’t escape your own doubts… Well, in those moments, you’re convinced that every failure is your own fault because you didn’t measure up to some imaginary, impossible standard.

Everyone who’s been to seminar in Dallas can share at least three horror stories. For three days (or four or five, depending on extra events hosted by your national director, and paid for by you), you will be too cold, exhausted, under nourished by terrible convention food. Your feet will be sore. You’ll be crammed into a tiny hotel room at one of the most expensive hotels in the city with three other women. You’ll be stressed by finances.

Recognition events will be hosted to celebrate everyone’s victories from the year—but it reads like the script of Mean Girls. You’ll be snubbed by directors because you’re only a consultant. You’ll be snubbed by Cadillac directors because you’re not even in your director car yet. You’ll be snubbed by the nationals just because. And when you come home, don’t think too hard about the experience. Just get to work so next year you can do the snubbing and be in with the “in” crowd. Don’t focus on the fact that there will always be a more “in” crowd that you won’t have access to.

Or you could jump off the hamster wheel and feel the freedom that comes with letting it all go. Let go of the self-doubt. Listen to that still quiet voice that speaks to you when you lay down at night. Why are you putting yourself through all this? Avoid the seminar blues permanently by simply stepping away.

5 COMMENTS

  1. Oh giiiirlll. Shewww.

    Can I add tip #6? Set boundaries around the people who are negative about Mary Kay. Mom, sister, bff, even husband. No one in your inner circle should be negative about Mary Kay so get them out. Pretty soon, your only friends are in Mary Kay which is better anyway because they all understand your life and can encourage you like none else can.

    It’s such a strange feeling going to seminar feeling like a hot shot then coming home and realizing no one around you cares.

    This quote right here is why I finally left. I remember my first seminar when I hit unit club. I felt like the most successful one there. Such a big deal. Then I was in the bathroom and someone had 400,000. Someone was always higher. When I finally let myself come down a couple of cars and joyfully be in my Malibu, I realized not even car is worth celebrating. Caddy or leave. The company only wants caddy and they passive aggressively teach caddy drivers to passive aggressively shame everyone until they get there.

    **“Just get to work so next year you can do the snubbing and be in with the “in” crowd. Don’t focus on the fact that there will always be a more “in” crowd that you won’t have access to.”**

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  2. And remember to learn how to misuse common business terms. You will be encouraged to conflate “revenue” with “profit.” Sure, you spent $1000 to make $250. But that comission check is what you “made”, right?

    Wrong. True business profit is what is left after expenses, including product purchases (like those qualifying minimum puchases to stay “active”). It’s no accident that so many Mary Kay ladies claim they are “making” money when in reality nearly every one of their little businesses is operating at a loss.

    Add up ALL that you spend on MK. For all but a very tiny sliver of folks at the top, this number is much larger than the sum off all the commission checks, sales margins and bonus checks combined.

    Not to mention the time invested, which would yield FAR MORE per hour even working a part-time job.

    The sales force pays out of their own pockets for everthing in Mary Kay…including Seminar. Mary Kay Corp has no other revenue source!

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    • “misuse common business terms.”

      They love the word “investment.” Everything is an investment…inventory purchases, meeting attendance, Seminar attendance, etc.

      They don’t want you to consider the costs, or the sacrifices, or the time away from home, or the rejection…remember, it’s an “investment in your business.” “The best is yet to come!” “Have faith!”

      Enjoy your sash and gaudy ring. But don’t expect them to fund your retirement.

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  3. They know it’s a dangerous time. The whole month of June was one giant cortisol spike from midnight on the first until the last Hail Mary orders at seconds before midnight on the thirtieth. Contests! Begging! Meetings! Bedlam! You dutifully ignored your family even though your kids got out of school and want to do fun things and your husband really just wants to spend an evening without you doing something MK-ian on your phone.

    Come July, everyone’s broke and hung over from the June insanity, but your upline still has to meet their recruitment and production quotas so they’re not going to let you rest. Besides, if they give you a moment to think, you might think that the whole tedious, stressful mess isn’t worth it, so no thinking! Contests! Begging! Meetings! Bedlam! Plus Getting Ready for Seminar! More contests, begging, meetings, and bedlam, plus “exclusive” events and privileges designed to make you jealous of those who get them and hate yourself for not being good enough. Meanwhile, your kids have learned how to swim underwater without holding their noses shut and ride bikes without traning wheels, and your husband has fantasies of taking a flamethrower to your stash.

    Then, hot damn and hallelujah, the gates of Heaven… well, the doors of the convention center, open, and the time of the Rapture has arrived! This is where all the promises of new energy, strategies, and purpose fed to you by your upline for the past year come to fruition! And then reality bites and it’s just ugly gowns, cringeworthy stage shows, bad food. To distract you, yes: Contests! Begging! Meetings! Bedlam! Pajama parties with strangers! Cheap awards! NSDs strutting about like they’re Queen Shitzila! Stupid photo ops! Total sensory overload, because, once again, if you’re not constantly distracted, you might start… Thinking.

    Finally, it’s over. You can pack up your sweaty heels and wilted gowns and go the hell home… to look forward to more Contests! Begging! Meetings! Bedlam! Frosty Rose’s post details what all the post-Seminar distraction is all about. Once again, they’ve got to keep you fully occupied.

    Stop the madness, just for a day. After a normal vacation, you need a few days to readjust, do laundry, go shopping, recover from the travel. Get used to being home, settling back into the old routines.

    MKorp and your upline treats you as cogs in a machine: your money goes in, rewards for your upline come out. Even in the busiest factory, machines are shut down periodically for cleaning and maintenance. Why shouldn’t you have the same privelege as a mere machine?

    Do something for yourself. Think. Was it really worth it? Did you learn anything? Are you eager to keep going, or are you kind of sick of it? Are you inspired, or just kind of exhausted?

    They make a big freaking deal out of failure, but failure isn’t always bad. You learn from mistakes, you learn what’s suited to your lifestyle and temperment, you learn when a situation is dangerous or uncomfortable so you can avoid it in the future. And if you choose to “fail” and quit MK, I know for sure everyone here would cheer you on.

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