Mary Kay Puts a Wedge in Marriages

Written by Nutmeg

Yes, MK  put a wedge in my marriage. I was a stay-at-home mom with 2 children and was feeling a little neglected by my husband’s very busy work/travel schedule. I decided to give MK a try to get me out of the house and make a little money. My husband was a little worried that I got talked into over $3,500 (which I borrowed from our joint account) inventory, but was happy for me when I started making good sales and paying back the “loan” from our account.

I started Mary Kay on May 28 and my NSD was doing everything possible to talk me into going to seminar. She tried to get me to book seminar and a plane ticket while on the phone with her, but I didn’t know her that well and wouldn’t go for it. I talked it over with my husband and we decided it was stupid for me to spend more money when I hadn’t paid back the initial loan on my inventory yet.

A couple months after that, I wasn’t so lucky. She talked me into going to a team leader retreat and wouldn’t get off the phone with me until I booked a plane ticket – she told me I didn’t need to ask my husband’s permission, did I? After all, I had paid off my inventory, right? I made my own money, right?

Needless to say, he was not happy. She convinced me he wasn’t happy because he was jealous and afraid of my success. As soon as I got back from that trip, I went into DIQ, and you all know what happens then. I became crazy. MK 24/7. We couldn’t take our family vacation that we took every spring, my husband wasn’t happy about that. Whenever he would come up with a valid point/question about this DIQ process or express his concerns about how much time I was away, I’d get the husband bashing from my NSD and my adopted SD. I believed he was not supportive, jealous of my success and I stopped telling him things about my business.

My only saving grace during this time was even though I thought my husband was the enemy, I would not go into debt. I would work like CRAZY to sell loads of product to make enough money to buy more to meet goals. My husband stood by me but constantly was reminding me not to be stupid with my money and that MK’s business philosophy and rules just didn’t add up. (Telling an adult woman that she cannot have alcohol at any time during a business trip that she paid for out of her own pocket?????)

When his company started layoffs, I thought of what I would do if he lost his job. I thought long and hard and realized I hated what I did. I hated everything about MK. But I couldn’t talk to anyone about that, especially my husband. I couldn’t talk to MK people because that was negative and I couldn’t talk to anyone outside MK about that because I was so programmed that they were all negative and didn’t want me to succeed. Then I found Pink Truth and knew I wasn’t alone. The fog lifted and I did sit down with my husband and we discussed it. I told him I decided it was best for me to step down as director and look for a part-time job instead. He was thrilled. Things became so much better. We are all so much happier.

Thank God I saw the light and thank God for all of you wonderful women at PINK

8 COMMENTS

  1. Bullet = Dodged

    Congrats, Nutmeg, for successfully resisting the emotional manipulation from Mary Kay!

    And thank you for sharing your story. I believe you will discover that a normal job can me more fulfilling and compatible with your needs and those of your family. Hopefully you can find a way to keep us updated here!

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  2. Wow, there are a a lot of bad words I’d like to say about that NSD.

    But instead I’ll just say congratulations to Nutmeg for refusing to go into debt in spite of all the pressure to do that. And Congrats for being willing to take a long, hard look at your situation and listening to your feelings. I hope you and your husband enjoy future vacations and other events even more than before.

    BTW Data Junkie is totally right about a normal job being fulfilling. The biggest part is that you’ll be able to leave work at work and go home with a sense of satisfaction in a job well done. If you get any kind of benefits, paid time off, or an employee discount, those don’t hurt either 😀

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  3. “wouldn’t get off the phone with me until I booked a plane ticket” If someone does this … HANG UP. PUSH THAT RED BUTTON AND END THE CALL!

    This is a classic cult and abuser technique … cut off the outside support systems that might help the target escape. “I couldn’t talk to MK people because that was negative and I couldn’t talk to anyone outside MK about that because I was so programmed that they were all negative and didn’t want me to succeed.”

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    • 20/20 hindsight. At the time she was pretty well enmeshed in the pinkness, NSDs are master manipulators, women are socialized to be polite and accomodating and it’s really hard to be rude even to people who deserve it, plus the whole worship of NSDs as living saints by the bubble dwellers thing.

      Personality and fear play into it, too. I’d hang up the phone in a hot second now, but for too much of my life I stayed on the phone too long with horrible people for all kinds of bad reasons.

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      • Good points – between the socialization to “be nice” and being in the MLM reality distortion field it would be hard to do.

  4. Long history of failed marriages in the Mary Kay world! I didn’t know about Mary Kay’s many marriages until I read about them here on Pink Truth. Not surprising her company became so dysfunctional as a reflection of her own life. I’m so glad Nutmeg didn’t ultimately buy into the “husband unawareness program.” Craziness

  5. Oh yes- and I’m sure when you left the rumors were that your husband abused you or that you became a heavy drinker. Funny how all of the x directors are supposedly one or the other.

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