Cheating to Get to Directorship
Written by Stephanie
I am a former Mary Kay sales director. If I knew then what I know now I would have never became a sales director… especially not doing it the way I was taught to do it.
Being in MK you learn the lingo, the language and the look. “Those who show up, go up”, “Do what you have to do to get over the hump”. Well it is not all that it is cracked up to be.
If I can share anything about my experience and ordeal, it would be to warn other women not to do what I did and not get “sucked” into the MK dream of doing things unethically thinking it will get you ahead. What you must understand though, is that EVERYONE in Mary Kay is doing it. Every sales director has signed up family and friends and paid the money for them to finish DIQ. Every sales director has topped off production to meet minimums or appear to “finish a goal.” Every sales director has ordered in someone else’s name to make them active.
The sales directors all do this to achieve or maintain a status. How did the NSDs get to where they are? By putting in their own money for the units that don’t have enough production, pulling recruits out of thin air to prop up numbers, and generally scamming the system to meet the goal. If you think your director is one of the “good ones” who hasn’t done any of this, it is only because you do not know the truth about her.
Let me tell you my story from from the completion of my DIQ and go from there…
Month 4 of DIQ: By the time I was in my 4th month of DIQ, I had learned how to coach women into spending money on large orders and putting orders through in other consultants’ names just to stay active on my roster. In the last month, when it all counts, I literally placed over $3,000 in MK sales orders in all of my inactive consultants’ names just so I could finish DIQ with 30 people as this was the requirement then.
Under the full direction and guidance of my former sales director, she showed me how to place the orders in their names as long as they were “okay with it.” She knew that my husband had a very nice limit on his credit card and told me to ask him to put some money on it to get over the threshold of becoming a sales director. My husband knew how hard I worked the previous 3 months so he agreed. Obviously he did not know what he had agreed to and I did not clearly tell him just how much I was going to spend to get over the hump.
Other Sales Directors had done it and I was called by some of my former SD’s director friends to put the money through so that I could make it. I was told I would make it up in MK commissions and it would not matter in a few months anyway. So I did it. Only seeing what I wanted to see and not using the discernment God gave me, I placed all the orders. I activated 16 people on my roster to look like they all placed minimum orders and had all the product shipped to my home. You do the math. Over the next few weeks after making it, people celebrated my success. My former sales director was happy. She was now a Senior Director and not to mention received a nice commission from it.
Month 1 as a new Director: In my first month as a director, my unit was struggling to make the minimum sales each month to remain an active unit. On top of that, I never actually told my husband what was actually charged on his credit card. He happened to check the balance and called me immediately at work and let me have it. He was furious. He did not speak to me for weeks! In addition to this, I was being laid off of my job and my now Senior Sales Director encouraged me to work MK full time and not look for a new job. She explained to me how she did it and advised that I could do it too.
What I reluctantly ignored was that she lived at home with her mother and had very minimal bills to pay so it was easy for her to work the business full time with no worries. My husband and I have a mortgage, car notes, household bills, food and groceries to maintain. My husband encouraged me to look for another job but my director had my ear so she again advised me to just “look” for a job so he cannot say that you did not look for one and that way you will be doing what he asked you to do. I did just that and it did not get any better.
Month 2 of directorship: We did not hit production in the first month so I knew we were in trouble when my commission check was less than $100.00. It became extremely stressful in my home but I kept working as my director told me to do. She also worked and began to back away from me allowing me to “lead my unit” on my own.
Our unit did not grow the way it was supposed to but at the same time I kept being optimistic about the entire situation. After all I heard the stories of women who spent money to get to the top and now their spouses are happy so I felt there was no reason why we could not have the same thing.
My Senior Director went on and on about doing what you got to do to stay on top. Over time I watched her place orders in other consultant’s names, put her family members like her brother and boyfriend in the system as qualified consultants so she can earn her bumble bee. The thought of how much I trusted her sickened me. What was worse is that things did not get any better at home. My husband wanted to file for divorce. He went to seek a divorce lawyer and told me he would not fight for anything. He just wanted to go our separate ways. He advised to me that if he could not trust me, there was nothing. I begged for his forgiveness and told him how sorry I was for what has happened.
Over the next six months we only hit production once. After making it one month, missing it the next, and so on, I finally missed two months in a row and I lost directorship. What was even more heartbreaking is that when I tried to talk to my director about it, she immediately put all of the blame back on me. “You put the money on the credit card! You made the decision to do it!” My heart sank! I knew that I did it but I also knew who gave me the idea to do it and yet she sat back and watched me nearly lose everything I had. She was not married nor did she have any children so she did not know what it means to have someone else to rely on.
I had nothing. I was left with nothing. All I could do was pray and ask God to help me get out of this situation and redeem my marriage and the things I had done. I did find another job and put my multiple degrees to work for me. My husband got a second job and resented me for it for quite some time. We got counseling and worked together to get ourselves back on track.
After it was all said and done and I received a call from the company to notify me I was no longer a director, I never heard from my director again. Her Senior Director reached out to me and encouraged me and told me to focus on my marriage but my director did not. Over time, I grew to hate her and vowed she would never get another dime from me again! I also have shared my story with up and coming consultants so they would not make the same mistakes I made. I told them not get “caught up” in the glam, the prizes and wanting to be on top that you would be willing to do whatever you had to to get there and stay there. It is not worth it in the end.
Now that some years have passed I am still hearing of my former sales director doing the same things to stay on top. Unethical practices will get you nowhere and it is only a matter of time before the company finds out what she has been doing. I pray that God has mercy on her for all the people she has burned along the way. I also pray that my story will serve as a vehicle to others to not make the same mistakes I made.
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So sorry to hear you went through that! Having directors who told half truths, straight up lies, and were willing to do anything to win is common in most of our stories. I tried MK twice and didn’t want to believe the truth about how most people got where they were in directorship. I never became a director but did attempt DIQ and quickly walked away when I found out people were cheating the system left and right. How they can sleep at night continuing with their deception amazes me.
Wow. Ouch. Holy smokes. I’m so glad you got out and that you and your husband managed to patch up your marriage. I can’t imagine that kind of betrayal of trust from someone you must have respected until she showed her true colors.
I hope future and current DIQs read this, especially those selected for The Grind read it and are able to put the brakes on before they suffer those kinds of losses.
To the inevitable critics who will say it’s just one director and no one forced Stephanie to place all those fake orders blah blah blah, she was acting on the advice of someone she trusted and liked at the time. How is it her fault that her superior turned out to be greedy and amoral? Isn’t it bad enough that one jerk got to line her own pockets by exploiting Stephanie and who knows how many others?
And don’t bother saying that corporate America is just as bad. Hurricanes are terrible disasters. So are earthquakes. More than one thing can be true at a time.
Yes! And to add on about corporate, there are certain protections around those sorts of activities at work. Whistleblower protections and the ability to go after them in court and hold the organization responsible. MKC is intentional about putting all the emphasis on IBCs running their own businesses to avoid being held accountable for the culture and practices. They pretty much encourage it to go on by incentivizing those who make things happen by any means possible. Individuals can go after each other in court but I doubt it has ever happened due to cost of court fees, fear of damaging close relationships, etc.
I knew something was not good as I watched so many NSDs and Top Directors who were getting divorced and has really rough things going on with their kiddos. 😢
Yup, that certain NSD that punished her toddler for being a toddler because the poor kid dared to want a little attention when she was on camera blabbing to her MK minions. Then she bragged about punishing that tiny kid. Shame on her forever.
So much for family ahead of business.
When my pets, that are family to me, want attention when I’m in a meeting, I pick them up and cuddle them. I actually love my family.
The incentive structure encourages all of this abuse. Ordering and recruiting are rewarded. Selling is not. Whatever you reward, you get more of.
If you limit commissions to the person who actually made the sale, and for actual outside sales only, not orders, the abuse stops immediately. This is how it works in the real world.
But this will never happen in any MLM, as most of the product is purchased by the sales force and little is ever sold to end customers. This is why these companies choose the MLM model to begin with. These products sell at much higher prices and at much higher volumes when the sales force is the real customer.
Without the “opportunity”, few will pay these ridiculous prices for these mediocre MLM products.
“Culture is as much about what we encourage as what we actually permit.” That quote may have been directed to a hockey team in the book Beartown (one of my all-time favorites!) but it certainly seems to apply here as well.
Meanwhile, our beloved PTCs will find any means to negate and demean Stephanie’s story by negging and cliché storms. They won’t challenge any aspect of the SD demands or requests, just bleat the same old, same old non-discussion points ad nauseum.
I’m just waiting for this My Shop thing to finally make the rank and file understand the scam having inventory is.
Wow. Sub my last 5 for your last 16, and add in a slightly more understanding husband, and you just told my story. I’m sure you just told the story of many former directors here.
The thing is, Corporate KNOWS what she’s doing. They simply do not care. More churn means more money in their coffers and the amount of unethical shenanigans that happen in the process doesn’t concern them.
Frosty.. .me too. My last 6. Unfortunately, I stayed a director much longer – by gaming the system (make production every other month) for far too long, and working my tail off to attain court of sales for 5 yrs in a row. My unit production was for the most part – me.
I detest MK.
My wife attended Leadership this past week in Nashville, and I drove her because I don’t like her traveling alone. She brought her DIQ with us. I sat in that car and listened as my wife coached this girl using the exact same tactics her senior director once used on her — a senior director I see as the devil in disguise, smiling, praising, and poisoning people in the name of “opportunity.” These are the same tactics my wife herself followed to become a director just a year ago. Watching that cycle repeat in real time made one thing painfully clear: this system doesn’t develop leaders, it manufactures replicas.
What made it even harder to stomach was hearing my wife speak — because she no longer sounded like herself. She sounded like an echo. An echo of the very monster who corrupted her. The tone, the phrases, the calculated encouragement — all lifted straight from the same playbook. Listening to the person I love mirror the voice and behavior of someone I find morally repulsive was sickening. It felt like watching someone slowly lose themselves while being told it’s growth.
They hide behind phrases like “family and friends fill the gaps” and “do what you’ve got to do,” but let’s call it what it is — calculated emotional manipulation. Pressure disguised as encouragement. Exploitation repackaged as empowerment. There is nothing organic or honest about it.
This will be the last trip I ever take that has anything to do with MK. The lies, the coercion, and the complete abandonment of basic ethics make me sick. Not metaphorically — physically. It has poisoned my respect for the organization and is actively damaging my marriage.
I’ve watched them target women who are already drowning — women who can’t afford groceries, who are behind on bills, who are desperate — and feed them a rehearsed fantasy about how this will “change their life.” When one voice isn’t enough to break them down, they escalate to shared calls, layering pressure until resistance collapses. And when all else fails, they weaponize God — bowing their heads, offering to “pray over it,” dragging faith into the room as the final manipulation tactic. Using God to close a sale is not faith. It’s spiritual abuse.
I love my wife, but I will not pretend this is harmless, and I will not stay silent to keep the peace. This isn’t a business. It’s a predatory system that survives by exploiting trust, desperation, and belief — and it destroys relationships while pretending to build them.
So here it is, without sugarcoating: I want nothing to do with MK, its culture, its leaders, or its lies. I refuse to participate, support, or stay quiet about something that operates without integrity. If that burns bridges, so be it. Some bridges deserve to be burned.
That’s not bitterness. That’s clarity.
That’s the real pink truth.