The Ten Twisted MLM Commandments (a satire)

Written by Personal Use Recruiter

The ten commandments of multi-level marketing, presented as a satire.

1. I am the Company Founder, your leader, who brought you INTO the land of MLM, the House of Bondage. You shall have no other founders besides ME.

2. Thou shalt not make a graven image of ME unless it is fully airbrushed

3. Thou shalt not swear falsely in the name of the Founder, for the Legal Department may or may not clear one who swears falsely by MY name

4. Observe the Unit Meeting Day and keep it holy, as the Founder has commanded you. Six days shall you labor in the field to do all of your warm chatting and recruiting work, and on the seventh you shall gather with your team. Remember you were once a slave to your J.O.B. and your Founder freed you from there with the mighty outstretched arm of your Recruiter: therefore the Founder has commanded you to observe the Unit Meeting Day.

5. Honor your Recruiter and your Director, as the Founder has commanded you, that you may long endure, and that you may fare well in the Area that your Founder is assigning to you.

6. Thou shall not murder your unit’s negative nelly

7. Thou shall not commit adultery by joining another MLM

8. Thou shall not steal clients or recruits

9. Thou shall not bear false witness against another Sales Director

10. Thou shall not covet your neighbor’s other MLM, their commission structure, their car prize, their uniform, their products, or anything that is your neighbor’s MLM