Culture & Manipulation

Big Girl Talk in Mary Kay

This demeaning email from a Mary Kay national sales directors to all the peons who need to work harder (so she can get a bigger paycheck) has been circulating for years. Pat Fortenberry got filthy rich from swindling women in Mary Kay, making nearly $900,000 per year prior to retirement, has this to say…

Big Girl Talk

(If you need a kick in the pants)

Hi Everyone!

This is a great message. How do you know if you are a Big Girl? Can you answer yes to all of these questions?

1. Do you truly want more from your Mary Kay business?

2. Are you super frustrated by something in your business? (Lack of customers…or scared to hold classes…or want more team members…or maybe you feel you lack confidence…or are unorganized?)

3. Do you realize that the success of your business depends on YOU?

4. Are you willing to hear the tough talk, (Big Girl Talk), that you may need to hear to make the necessary changes in your work habits?If you answered NO to any of those questions… You can DELETE THIS MESSAGE …and don’t read any more of it because it will just make you mad. You’ll be mad at me, you’ll think I have no right to talk to you this way, that I don’t understand the circumstances in your life, the obstacles you face, etc. Honestly, if you answered No to any of those questions that means you are happy where you are right now or you prefer to be in your current situation. You know what? That’s okay! You are happy as a “Personal Use” Consultant or “Hobby” Consultant and you don’t want a PUSH. No problem – We love you and are thrilled to have you in our units no matter what your goals are! If you don’t want to hear the tough stuff meant for Consultants who are frustrated…go ahead and hit DELETE now! (And if you are a new Consultant – feel free to delete too!!)

Okay…if you’re still reading…that means you’re a Big Girl and you’re ready for Big Girl talk….so let’s go! One quick reminder: No hurt feelings…no arguments that your Director is “pushing” you….remember…by reading this message you are giving us permission to give it to you straight!! This message isn’t being sent because any of you have said anything to prompt it – so don’t start wondering if you are the reason we chose to write this. I just feel that many of you are at a crossroads right now – you want more. You want to know what it really takes to succeed? Here you go.

Your Director could push you, nag you, baby-sit you, check up on you constantly and you know what would happen? You would probably reach your next goal…and then what? You probably wouldn’t be able to sustain that position or move further up the ladder unless your Director continued to push, nag, baby-sit, and check up on you. If you don’t learn how to motivate and discipline yourself…it will be impossible for you to be successful in MK at the Team Leader or higher level.

Sometimes consultants feel that they would be more successful if only, if only, if only…
– if only their Director would call them more often…
– if only their family would be more supportive…
– if only their Director would give them the “magic formula” or the perfect training
– if only they had more time, more money, more something…
– if only someone would remind them of their meetings, what they to do, etc.

Guess what? We have heard stories at Seminar from Consultants who have reached the top with EVERY OBSTACLE IMAGINABLE!! Consultants who have worked during chemotherapy, a totally BLIND Director, (think about that one for a minute), top Directors with six or more children, and more. What about the Ruby QUEEN OF SALES last seminar?? Full time job on the 3 – 11pm shift, 5 children and DOES NOT DRIVE!!! WOW! Talk about obstacles!!

Here is the key question: What is the difference between their success and your frustration?


That’s it – that’s all there is to it.

If you’re frustrated instead of successful – I believe it is because you are not working with discipline and determination. You are giving up when the going gets tough. You’re allowing your emotions, doubts, fears, and procrastination to stand in the way. How long do you want to be in the position you are now? Not enough money to pay your bills? Dead-end job? Lack of self-respect?

Your Director wants to give you guidance and support during your climb up the career ladder…but the ultimate responsibility to book, coach, sell, and recruit lies with you. Count on your Director to help you make a plan, answer questions, give advice, etc…but it is not her responsibility to call you and make sure you have bookings and names to work with and that you are doing the basics…or to remind you of the meeting, etc. If she does all that for you now…you may become a Director or a car driver…but do you really deserve the position? And how are you going to maintain that position without someone pushing you constantly?


Get over yourself. You are placing WAY too much importance on yourself. Sorry – but that’s the truth! You aren’t getting on the phone to book, or offering that sharp woman you see at the grocery store your card, or doing a skin care class because you are afraid you’re going to be embarrassed or you’re going to look stupid or she’s going to think “such and such” about you. Get over yourself. What is the worst thing that can happen if you’re embarrassed? You’ll realize that it isn’t so bad and you’ll get over it! Until you’re willing to risk being embarrassed or feeling uncomfortable you will never move up!! This is about her…how you can help her look better and feel better about herself. And how you might be able to offer an incredible business opportunity. It should be about her – not you. Stop focusing on yourself.

It amazes me how many Consultants sign their agreement, their Starter Kit arrives and then they complain about having no customers. What did they think? Somehow everyone in their town would know they are a Consultant magically! It takes effort! You have lots of ways to let people know:

1. Smart Start (Offered by the company!) 30 Beauty Books mailed to friends, family, coworkers, neighbors, etc…

2. Preferred Customer Program (enroll anytime!)

3. Schedule a Business Debut! (Your Recruiter or Director will be there!)

4. Schedule an Open House or Coffee!

5. Invite guests to your MK events – Success Night, Color Certification, Muffins & Makeovers, etc…

6. Sign up for your MK Web Site…promote by giving out business cards, Beauty Books!

7. Schedule a Perfect or Power Start (or Re-Start!)

Have you done some of these things? If not, why are you wondering why you are not more successful?

How can you be sincere about wanting more from your business when you don’t regularly attend your Success Nights, Brunches, Training sessions, Seminar, Career Conference, and participate in conference calls?

Now remember…this message is for people who signed up for Mary Kay because they want or need something MORE! When you complain to your Recruiter, your Director, other Consultants, etc…that your business is frustrating you and they know you aren’t attending these events…it’s hard for them to “feel your pain”.

Low sales or bookings at your classes – you need more training!

Uninspired to book appointments – you need inspiration from the events, the meetings!
Feeling alone and isolated – reach out to sister Consultants – make new friends!


Most people sign up for Mary Kay because they want a change in their life. Some people give up before they’ve even given it a year of sincere effort. If you give up before you have done these things…then you never really got started. And the reason everyone gives is…. “it’s just not for me”, “I’m just not the sales type”, “I just don’t want to put in the time”! But how many hours have you put into a job day after day, week after week to get what? You work long hours, you’re away from home more than anything, and you still get the same pay regardless of if you work 40 hours or 60 hours! Does that make sense?

Have you ??

1. Made a list of at least 50 people to ask to help you with your training by allowing you to practice with their face.

2. Booked at least 5 solid classes and held them, (you may have to book 15 to have at least 5 to hold).

3. Learn how to effectively book from those classes.

4. Attended at least 6 Success Meetings.

5. Held at least 4 practice interviews with your Recruiter or Director.

If you answered no to these, then you never even gave it a shot! And I bet you made tons of excuses to justify why you can’t! Please don’t say “Mary Kay just wasn’t for me” because you never even tried it to make that statement!!! And it’s so unfair to say that. Be truthful and say “I was just too lazy to work my business”! Imagine if you were that lazy on your regular job – you’d be fired!


The reason some people succeed and some people don’t? In so many cases, the difference is PERSISTENCE. That’s it. We all face postponements, disappointments, cancellations, and more. If you want those things to be the reason you quit…there’s nothing any of us can do for ya. It all comes down to how bad you want it. The rewards are worth it – but you’ve got to decide whether you’re willing to stick with it.

Stop accepting your own excuses. You are letting yourself off the hook everyday by kidding yourself, (you know what I mean…you tell yourself: “Oh, I don’t look great today, I won’t offer her my business card.” or “I’ll make calls tomorrow, because most people are probably busy tonight.” or “I’ll start booking clases next month, once I’ve had more time to get organized.”

You are standing in your own way. You’re making this way too complicated. Just make a list of prospects, call them and book appointments. Work those appointments full circle, (book more appointments, share the opportunity). THAT?S IT. Don’t make it so complicated!!

WORK FULL CIRCLE (book more – share career)

DO IT! Check marykayintouch under Full Circle Success…if you don’t know what working full circle means.

Serious about this business? Show me! COMPLETE A POWER START….email me back right now and tell me:


When you complete your Power Start – I will take you out to lunch and we will have a goal-setting session, (if you live more than 2 hours away – we will work something out!!) A Power Start is 30 faces in 30 days – you can do it! It will jumpstart your business!

I can’t wait to hear from the new members of the Big Girl Club! If you tell me you are a Big Girl and you accept the Power Start Challenge…you can count on “tell it to me straight talk” from me!!

There are those of you who have the talent and the potential to really make a go of this business – what are you waiting for???? Think back to the time when you signed your agreement, didn’t you have The MK Dream? Didn’t you just KNOW that MK was going to make a difference in your life? And your Director believed that you could be the next Super Star! So what happened? This & then that got you off track. So what?! It is such a waste, if you don’t just do the work and discipline yourself – push through the emotional challenges, the laziness, the procrastination, the distractions, the fear, all that junk.

God doesn’t put a dream in your heart without giving you the tools to make that dream come true. Hear that? Mary Kay was a GIFT to you from that first dream you had! So what are you doing with it? Quit wasting time thinking about it – get on with it. Remember one of my favorite sayings: “Get Up, Get Out, Get Over it!”

Thanks for being willing to listen – I only share this with you because I want the best for all of you and I know it’s important to know what it takes! We have an awesome unit – thanks to all of you and your hard work – Congratulations!!! I love all of you!!!

I can’t wait to hear who is accepting the Power Start Challenge!


Related Posts