Head of the Mary Kay Household?

pink-cadillac-coachWritten by The Scribbler

What is a husband’s place in the Mary Kay venture? Should he stand quietly by, allowing his wife to do whatever he wants with the family’s finances? Should he be actively involved in running the Mary Kay “business”? Or should he just be a cheerleader?

I pondered whether or not this article would offend our readers; after all, it liberally uses the “S” word (submission), questions Mary Kay teachings, and looks to the Bible for clarification on such. I decided to press onward; after all, if you’re an active MKer out there reading this, you’ve probably heard very offensive insinuations that you’re not a proper adult (i.e. a “Big Girl”) because you haven’t (insert task here). If you can tolerate that kind of abuse, then you’re a strong individual and will come away even stronger after having read this piece.

For starters, please take a look with me at Ephesians 5:22-23; let’s see what the Word says about the roles of husbands and wives:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…”

Heard that click-click-clacking noise? That’s the sound of thousands of lipstick tubes being hurled at computer screens in protest. The concept of submission isn’t a popular one, but let me reassure you that it’s not some big, scary proclamation charging women to wear heels, pearls, and an ankle chain connected to the stove. Submission is simply an establishment of order.

When God created woman, Adam didn’t rub his chin and mutter slyly, “Sweet, someone to brew me up some PBR!” He said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh…” He immediately acknowledged that his wife was an inseparable part of him. That act, my friends, speaks volumes.

Since the Bible presents the chain of command as God – Husband – Wife, do Mary Kay teachings reflect that? Let’s peek at our Training Document of the Day, the “Mary Kay Husband Job Description.” Of special interest is the document’s accompanying graphic: a picture of Superman with the words, “Mary Kay Cadillac Coach” skewed across his chest. Heads up, Wonder Woman – Lois Lane’s in DIQ and she’s headed this way!

Help out at home in any way you can to free up time for her to do only what she can do, to include groceries chauffeuring kids, coordinating logistics, household chores, preparing meals, and parenting (formerly known as babysitting).

Being a stay-at home parent, I can tell you that this list encompasses the bulk of my job description. The domestic tasks above are supposed to be the things only the wife can do. But now that the wife is in Mary Kay, the husband has shouldered the wife’s household responsibilities plus whatever job he is presently functioning in – he’s essentially working two jobs! In addition, the husband is also to do the following:

  • Attend meetings
  • Maintain office equipment
  • Pass out her business cards and catalogs; special invitations
  • Develop financial strategies
  • Help with inventory of product and placing orders
  • Promote her business to other husbands and friends
  • Be her hero – help carry any bags into and out of the house as often as humanly possible
  • Learn InTouch or hire someone; don’t burden her with having to learn it. (huh??)

Here’s what I don’t understand. If your recruiter followed her scripts, she gave you the impression that it’s all about you: the money, the recognition, the self-improvement, the friends you’ll make – Mary Kay will provide it all! If it wasn’t about you, the recruiter wouldn’t have dove headfirst into her purse for her “Overcoming Objections” flashcards the second you said, “I have to discuss this with my husband first.”

Once a woman signs the pink dotted line, however, suddenly the husband goes from the “Domineering Dolt Whose Approval You Can do Without,” to someone who’s suddenly welcome and needed. Don’t you find it painfully ironic that even though recruiting schpiels promise empowerment to women, the menfolk are still called upon to carry bags, learn computer programs, and change out printer cartridges? Big girls, indeed.

Reminds me of a former flight chief I served under while I was active duty. This gentleman made some poor life choices, and as a result, he could no longer lead the flight. Because of his rank, he couldn’t be given a duty generally reserved for lower-ranking airmen, such as guarding the base gate – so what happened? A position was made up for him to serve in. It had no real purpose and consisted mainly of busywork, but it had a fancy-sounding title like, “Non-Commissioned Officer of Logistics.” Just like “Mary Kay Cadillac Coach.” Same loss of authority, same fancy-sounding title, and the same busywork!

Husbands, have you felt as if you’ve been trod on by a company who wants to steal your birthright – your God-given authority as the leader in the home – and left you a hunk of bread and some lentil soup in its place? If Mary Kay has engulfed your relationship with your wife, your home, your finances, then it is time for you to rise up and reclaim what God has placed within your care.

Cut up the credit cards, speak with a pastor, go out for pizza one night with other MK husbands and start asking some hard questions – just start somewhere. If a rattlesnake got into your home and was taking pot shots at your wife’s legs, would you let it be? Or would you take steps to get the thing out of your house because you knew it had the potential to poison your wife?

Wives, I implore you not to let a so-called opportunity come between you and the man that you love, no matter what it promises. If you have, I hope you will see Mary Kay as the raunchy, glitzy, whirlwind fling that it is compared to the solid relationship God intended you to share with your husband. If you’re striving to keep God first in your life, do it by honoring the position that God has ordained for him from the start, not by allowing a recruiter to convince you that his position is rightfully yours.


  1. KayNotMary

    Mary Kay is BS for shoving the husband aside and the bible is BS for shoving the wife aside. The man being called the designated the “leader” of the family because of “birthright” is misogyny. Both of these systems are reprehensible and I won’t give either the time of day.

      1. Char

        ^^^^And both of that!

        Let us all not forget the Bible is a book, a very old book, written by men.

        “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church…” – WELL, OF COURSE. A MAN WROTE THAT!

        There is another bible that says men should have multiple wives. Also written by a man. LOL. Are we seeing a pattern?

        Frankly, all these “cults” have elements that suck, as I’m tired of them pitting human against human. Move with the times and embrace the knowledge that scientific advances have afforded us.

        We were given the innate quality, by OUR creator whoever that is, to know what harm is. Also, I will not be so arrogant to presume I know how or why we are here – like those old, men writers.

        I don’t want an ancient man, who thought the earth was flat, preaching to to my daughters by way of an old book. And btw, which book would that be? Pick one as there are a few. See what I mean about “beliefs”?

        And misogyny! I am reminded by a saying, “The man is the head of the family, and the woman is the neck. The neck tells the head which way to turn.” Lol

        The human head and neck work together. It doesn’t matter what color it is, or cult belief system it has that supposedly determines it’s destiny crap. It’s just human!

        The irony is not lost on me when consultomers proclaim Mary Kay is a Christian company – given the fact that Mary Kay is a scam.

      2. Jacirene

        When you talked about the sound of “lipsticks being thrown on a computer screen,” I didn’t realize it would be feminist lipsticks that are equal to or even superior to men. As a woman and a Christian, I feel a duty to report that:
        a) Mary Kay is a scam that uses women’s faith according to their vested interests;
        b) God, the Creator of heaven and earth, made the woman the helper of man. Those who do not like this complain directly to Him.

        1. KayNotMary

          No, the barbarians that wrote the book you cling to declared that women are nothing but property.

          I’m not anyone’s “helper,” and shame on you for perpetuating the sick idea that women are lesser.

          Even if your backwards god did exist I would not waste my time worshipping it.

            1. :)

              I disagree with the women in this comment section disliking this post because they view themselves as equal to their partners, suggesting that a marriage of submission is not valid.
              Accepting myself as a domme has lead me to realize there are so many men out there who desperately want to submit, but feel pressured to go against their nature. So many who wish to submit, to have a woman understand he is not her equal, just her’s… Ladies, those men are VALID! ?
              Submissive boys make some noise! ???

              Also that feminist lipstick comment was corny bro, write better

        2. Char

          “ I didn’t realize it would be feminist lipsticks that are equal to or even superior to men.” –

          Not superior! Equal and work together.

          “As a woman and a Christian” – Mary Kay is a Christian company.

          1. MLM Radar

            Char, Mary Kay is NOT a Christian company. What MK says they are, and what they really are, is as different as night and day.

            MK twists facts and lies about sales and marketing. You know this. They also lie about Christianity. To them, the Bible is only a tool to be taken out of context so they can get your money.

      1. Char

        Respectfully, the main article quoted religion. Not only that, all we hear is Mary Kay is a Christian company. And then there’s the motto: Faith, Family, Career. Mary Kay is very much about religion and it’s use of a belief system to perpetrate their fraud.

        Mary Kay only pretends to be about cosmetics to mask the MLM con game. Take the element of “opportunity” out of MK, and that Dallas pyramid building will crumble down to a shack.

      2. TRACY

        I disagree. MK is all about religion when they say the company is God first, and they use religious sayings to convince women to recruit and buy inventory. Religion is a big part of the scam, and is the inspiration for this article.

  2. Lazy Gardens

    I think you misunderstood this. When they say he should, “Help out at home in any way you can to free up time for her to do what only she can do”, they meant that he should take over as much of the daily stuff as possible to free her up for all that Mary Kay stuff that is going to consume her life: the meetings, the phone calls, the stalking recruits.

    And become unpaid office support staff for her Mary Kay home business, of course.

  3. cindylu

    Considering MK herself had a huge disregard for men, (while allowing her son to simply reap the benefits of the hard work of women) it is no wonder MK continues to discount the contributions of husbands. I guess the bitterness MK felt towards training men at Stanley Home Products spread into her company. Her advice to cook an onion to mislead a husband into thinking supper was enroute showed her contempt for men. Also advising women to delegate household and office tasks to a hired cleaner or clerk showed a woman out of touch with reality. In the 1960’s leaving barely old enough siblings to care for younger ones might have passed. Today society expects mom to care for her kids. MK started her company when some of her kids were grown. She also had 7 husbands to manipulate. Her husband died leaving her totally in charge of the business. She then hired driven women who built her company while she received the benefits of their hard work. Even if they were giving birth she expected them to continue to meet MK’s sales goals. A company from a woman who used women for her own gain. She then deceived them by pretending MK wasn’t an MLM. Most NSD’s have husbands with well paying jobs. Some of them stared in this pyramid decades ago when women were ok with the party style of product sales. Today women find this MK thing to be a huge joke. Husbands become exasperated with the constant lying. Lies about free training, no need for inventory, the 50% profit, that it can be done around the family and that many women make executive income. Soon husbands see the cult like behavior, the endless credit card debt, that seminar, conferences etc. are repetitive and a money pit. It is shameful how MK left her company to a son that cares little for families. It was not about Christian values or family. It was always about profit for the heirs, Corp and a handful of NSD’s. 🙁

  4. Mountaineer95

    Lurkers, here is what you NEED to know about starting your MK business (what you choose to share with your spouse/life partner is a personal choice that really depends on how your choice affects your overall family finances):

    You MUST have a business plan drafted before you make any commitment. Before even committing to the $100. NO business (no matter what “type”…such as whether an independent contractor a true brick-and-mortar, and so on) should ever be taken on WITHOUT a well-thought-out draft of the business plan. What’s in a business plan? Plans can vary in scope and detail (the larger the investment, the more detailed the plan usually), but invariably address the following:

    What is the realistic territory of my proposed product/service (my zip code, my state, etc)?

    What is the existing market for my product/service?

    What is the number of current people/businesses offering my product/service in my area?

    What, if any, is the potential buying power of my market after considering the above?

    After (and ONLY AFTER) you’ve thoroughly determined the above estimations, and have determined that there is still existing potential for sales in your market, should you create your specific business plan. This plan will develop the proper amount you should invest, the appropriate costs involved with setting up and maintaining your plan, the realistic total sales figures you should expect, the proper profit margins you should expect to gain, and the amount of time you should expect to wait before you are able to realize true profit.

    You MUST ask for the figures I’ve stated above. You MUST only accept actual figures with evidence to support them.

    You CANNOT accept any of the following: we don’t know; oh trust me they’re good; it’s great don’t worry; you’ll sell for sure; this area is hot; etc….none of these replies mention ANY actual figures, statistics, etc, and none of these replies can be measured or proven.

    YOU MUST HAVE ACTUAL NUMBERS if you’re going to make a good decision about investing in this opportunity. By actual numbers, I mean you MUST have, at bare minimum, the following:

    (Area Mary Kay market): What were the retail sales totals for my area for Mary Kay products last year?

    (Area Mary Kay market growth trend): What were the retail sales totals for my area for Mary Kay products the previous three years? (determine if growth is trending up or down)?

    (Area Mary Kay market sales potential): How many active Mary Kay sellers (including IBCs, directors, etc) are there in my area?

    (Profit margin potential): What is the average profit margin that Mary Kay sellers in my area are making? (This figure is determined by taking the total wholesale cost of products bought versus the total retail sale amount of products sold, and as a gross number does NOT take into account any expenses or business costs)?

    This might seem like a lot of info to someone who’s never owned their own business. However, this is the info that SUCCESSFUL entrepreneurs acquire and dissect and consider BEFORE they make any investment, even $100.

    AND—-this is big—-Any company with the size and duration of Mary Kay ABSOLUTELY has ALL of these figures. You should NOT accept any reply otherwise…such as, MK knows how many existing reps are in your area; MK knows how many dollars (at least, wholesale) are spent in your area, and so on. So WHEN you ask for these figures, you should expect, and must not settle for anything less than, Mary Kay official documents that verify them.

    Once you get the appropriate answers to your necessary questions, and you fully understand your market’s potential and your personal potential in relation to your competition (other MK sellers in your area), you are ready to put together your business plan draft. What are you willing to invest, how will you target your customers, what type of return can you expect, how soon can you expect it, and what costs will you incur?

    THIS is what you put together and present to your husband/fiancé/spouse/partner. If you have a well-thought and well-researched business plan to present to your better half, you can earn their trust, support, and buy-in. No need to hide anything.

    …and…if your eyes are crossed at everything I’ve written, and you think it’s too much work for a $100 opportunity and you’re just going to do it, that’s fine, just sign up. BUT don’t turn around a week later and proclaim that you’re an independent businesswoman or an entrepreneur. Businesswomen put in the research and planning. And know when to walk away.

    1. MLM Radar

      I’d condense all that down into one high level question: how many listings does eBay have for this “business opportunity”?

      I just checked for Mary Kay: 56,035 eBay listings. Nearly all are for half off with free shipping. Can anyone compete with that?

      That’s a lot of data in those questions listed above. If you want to open up a restaurant franchise, the company has all that data and will share it with you. They have a vested interest in helping you succeed.

      Mary Kay has all that data too. Well, except for consultant sales to retail customers Mary Kay doesn’t track such sales, but they can estimate that number pretty well. But Mary Kay will NEVER share that information with you. This is because the only interest Mary Kay has in you is how much product they can pressure you into buying.

      1. Mountaineer95

        It is a lot of data, and while I might have gone overboard, it can be condensed down to:

        How many active MK reps are in my area?
        How much did Mary Kay sell (in my area) in the last year/two years/ five years?

        Then it’s an easy equation of total sales divided by number of active accounts.

        1. Char

          Pointing out all those things leads to THE question: Why does MKC encourage and reward endless-chain recruiting of “self-created competition and saturation” in my area?

          And if I foolishly regard myself as a bonafide sales rep, am I dumb enough to do that?

          Conclusion: Being a consultomer can’t be compared to an actual sales rep.. It’s all an illusion so MKC can get my money by having me place large orders.

    2. Lazy Gardens

      You know they won’t tell you how many reps are in your town, county or zip code because it would scare you.

      Looking at the FaceBook discounting frenzy and the eBay listings … there’s no money to be made selling the product.

  5. Coffee Queen

    This verse is always misconstrued for men to be abusive (yes that was use against me so much in a previous relationship).

    Here is the rest that is always left out
    Eph 5:25-26 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

    God. I hate that passage so much.

    Relationships should be a partnership. My husband sat with me, crunched my numbers with me. showed me, in love how I wasn’t making money. I asked him to give me one more month (I did not invest any of our family money in this) and if it didn’t turn a profit, then I was out. Well, sh*t hit the fan with the director stealing my recruits and I didn’t turn a profit. I left. I also would tell him that our director would say things like “Don’t tell your husband about buying this” . And he did not like that secretiveness.

    Anyway, it should be a partnership in a relationship, when one starts to assert their dominance, then the relationship doesn’t work.

  6. Well written. It’s pretty appalling the way MLM women talk about their husbands like they are Neanderthals and don’t have solid input to give them. How sexist is that? Imagine if it was turned around? My husband wouldn’t talk about me like that to his coworkers—as being a dumb idiot even though I’ve had my share of hilarious blonde comments. (Although he probably would if I was a crazy MK wife and would have a field day with the other MLM husbands ?).

    As for the Bible verse talking about the “s” word—that one is widely used out of context and I am sad for the misinterpretation it gets more often than not. To me this passage illustrates a partnership between equal beings. God’s intent is very different than man’s, and man loves to bend the verses for his own use. (I especially hate when people use “ask and you shall receive” to justify their prosperity gospel).

    Thanks for the post, Scribbler!

  7. MLMcult

    I’m so grossed out by this post. Calling out one scam while preaching another one. Both take advantage of women. Both are detrimental to a woman’s self esteem and sense of self.

Comments are closed.