Does Faith Really Come First in Mary Kay?
Written by a Former Consultant
If Mary Kay Cosmetics says “faith” is supposed to come first, why are so many other things put first?
I cried, “Grace,” to the mountain.
I cried, “Grace,” to what stood in front of me.
I cried, “Grace,” to the mountain.
So, Lord, how come this mountain is still in front of me? Maybe you once heard a “Sunday Morning Message” by either Linda Toupin or Pam Shaw telling you how to apply the Word of God to be successful in your Mary Kay business. When I was deep in the pink thick of things, I could not wait—and that is an understatement if I have ever typed one—to get to the phone each Sunday morning to hear what God had to say through these ladies to me about my Mary Kay business.
Looking back now, it’s easy to see where I went astray from the biblical teachings I hold dear and advanced step-by-step into the pink fog which eventually consumed, and nearly destroyed, everything I held dear. Suffice it to say that I was so convinced that God had given me the “all clear” to build a Mary Kay empire which would be a testament to His goodness at work in my life, causing everyone to want what I had, that I nearly squeezed Him completely out of the picture.
Slowly and somehow unnoticed by me, the still quiet voice of His Spirit within me was replaced by the voices of Pam Shaw, Linda Toupin, Gloria Mayfield Banks, and the likes. Instead of hearing a gentle, “Try again,” I would hear Sabrina Goodwin Monday say, “OWN your power.” (Well, really, what the heck does that mean?! Of course, though, it made sense to me while breathing the pink mist. And, as a personal aside, if you think that recorded messages from Mary Kay royalty and/or a daily Mental B.A.T.H. are good things, I hope you will reconsider by the time you get to the end of this post.)
Since I was so sure that Mary Kay was God’s perfect will for my life, somehow nothing seemed wrong as this transition from God first to Mary Kay first slowly took place. The God of the Bible said to delight in Him and He would give me the desires of my heart, that He wanted me to prosper and be in health even as my soul prospered, and that He had given my hands the power to gain wealth.
Without even realizing it, because I daily listened to recorded messages and Mary Kay videos like the dutiful kaybot that I was, somewhere I crossed a line and started believing that if I delighted in my NSD and did everything SHE said, I would get what I wanted. Somehow I came to believe that it was ok to squander the wealth and health that I did have in order to achieve success in Mary Kay. (“You have to spend money to make money.” “No effort goes forth unrewarded.” “Short-term pain for long-term gain.”) Somehow I came to believe that God had put a credit card in my hands in order to help me achieve my dreams. (I know that most of you understand what I am talking about here. For those of you lurkers in Mary Kay who think I’m just stupid, I can only hope that you never have the same set of experiences/situations that I confronted.)
God said that if there were ever any obstacles, He said all I had to do was to say unto the mountain to be removed, and Mary Kay people said that, too! Way cool, I thought! And, because I had prayed until I was blue in the face, and I had been prayed for, about whether Mary Kay was the path I was to pursue and had received what I believed to be confirmation of such on several occasions, I was determined that I would be one who would not quit until I had claimed the prize. I would “put it all on the line” as Pam Shaw probably still loves to say.
What I somehow forgot about, somewhere along the way, was the need for both balance and meeting other conditions to be blessed, and that is what I believe God has put on my heart to write about today. This, my friend, is what I would call the Pink Truth version of the now-infamous-to-me, Mary Kay-style, Sunday Morning Message. I pray that you will take it to heart, regardless of your beliefs.
An all-time favorite scripture of Mary Kay folks is Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things in Christ Who strengthens me.” I eventually came to detest hearing this in conjunction to a Mary Kay distributorship. In my studies, this verse meant that in Christ, God would strengthen me to forge ahead in doing His will despite the circumstances, until that day when He would ultimately reward my efforts by bringing everything together (Phil. 4:19). The road to get there might not be fun or fast, but the end result would be worth all the work and pain it took. In Mary Kay, though, I came to understand that it was the “doing all things” part that was most important and, somehow, Christ was only critical to my success to the degree that I could use Him to advance my career. What was most critical was my being willing to do “whatever it takes” and not to let that line hold me back. It became clear that the Mary Kay version of Philippians, although unspoken, was “I can make myself do all things, ethical or not, God help me.”
What tripped me up, along with this, was the Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” and even the Mary Kay version, “Do unto others as they want to be done unto.” I could never reconcile how it was God’s will for me to lie to other women about their odds of being successful, the amount of inventory they needed, how “sharp” they were, or how much I liked them. I also could never figure out how the biblical principle of meditating on scriptures and speaking them out loud became twisted into positive affirmations that could somehow cause my perfectly good Ford Taurus to turn into a Pink Cadillac. It doesn’t compute!!! It continued not to compute for many years because eventually, I no longer really talked to God; I talked to myself.
I’ve been taught and continue to believe that 3 John 2 says that we will prosper and be in good health to the degree that our soul (mind, will, and emotions) prospers. When these 3 areas are at peace with each other and with our spirits, we still must do our part. We must grow ourselves spiritually and emotionally by spending time with God in prayer, and we must grow ourselves mentally by reading and studying both His Word and also secular books and materials to gain knowledge. And, like it or not, if we want physical health, we need to act on information which is readily available to us: eat right, exercise, etc.
As long as we lean on Him first for our understanding of all these things and we also meet the condition of loving Him with every area of our life (including our money), then He will bless us. It doesn’t mean that He is opening the windows of heaven to throw out a money bag for us to catch, or that He is going to give us favor so that everyone we meet is persuaded by our words and gives us their money or signs up to be a consultant.
It does mean that He will give us all kinds of ideas and insights which, if we develop and actively pursue with His guidance, have the possibility of enriching our and others’ lives in many ways, financially being just one of them. Sure, some people will become millionaires, but for most who choose to live this way, it will mean that we can rest assured that even though there may be times of scarcity, we generally will have enough excess over what we need in our lives to be able to help others.
My Mary Kay experience was that there was never peace between my soul and my spirit. My mind knew that I was lying and manipulating, and my spirit wouldn’t stand for it. My emotions beat me up, but I squashed them all down for as long as I could stand to until I became distressed mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physically, and financially. The balance on my internal scale is so sensitive that the very least pressure on the wrong side caused much internal turmoil, and I know many of you are the same.
So, my friends, remember that you need to balance what you hear in Mary Kay with both the Bible AND a good dose of common sense. If you don’t believe in God, then listen to your conscience—I don’t think anybody can deny that those exist, even if some Mary Kay folks’ are buried deep.
We need to remember that Moses spent 40 years in Egypt and another 40 years in the desert, so we probably aren’t going to become an overnight success by the world’s standards. We need to remember that not being successful in Mary Kay is not the end of the world, and that it isn’t entirely our fault–we know why that is thanks to Pink Truth and all those who come forward to share their stories. We need to remember that just pressing forward each day to do what WE know is RIGHT and TRUE means we are a success. Sometimes, when we can’t do anything, we need to remember that God views us as a success, even though we may not and just rest in that until we are rejuvenated to move forward.
We also need to remember that God tells us that “the children of darkness are wiser than the children of light,” so that when someone tells you something that sounds too good to be true, you DO need to make extensive efforts to research these claims for yourself so that you don’t fall into a snare. It is possible to do Mary Kay “the right way,” even though that way sits high on a hill surrounded by the slippery slopes of greed, envy, malice, lasciviousness, etc. It may be better not to do Mary Kay at all, though. But, you better make sure you’re hearing the right voice (and not “voices”) wherever you determine you’re being led.
My prayer for you, as you ponder these things in your heart, is that you will listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to you and not your upline. Balance is key, and you will not find that in your Mary Kay or other MLM upline. The most important thing is the truth, because that and ONLY that has the power to set you free. Spread the word!
“Since I was so sure that Mary Kay was God’s perfect will for my life, somehow nothing seemed wrong as this transition from God first to Mary Kay first slowly took place.”
That is EXACTLY what happens. You nailed it.
My experience with religious manipulation came from a different direction, but I’m picking up what Former Consultant is putting down.
Some things that helped me see past the manipulation:
God’s plan for you is what he decides it is, not what anyone else tells you it is.
If you’re going to hear him, it will be in the quiet moments when you’ve really given yourself over to prayer and spiritual communion, not mouthing the words along with the congregation or listening to someone drone on, whether it’s a sermon or a greedy NSD.
God blesses people, not ideas or endeavours. And again, that’s up to him. Pam Shaw can’t say that god will bless your business because she ain’t the boss of him.
Most of all, listen to that little voice of doubt in your mind. My grandmother used to say that was Jesus tapping your shoulder so that he could tell you a secret. Whether you call it the holy spirit, Jesus, your guardian angel, or women’s intuition, LISTEN.
The OP didn’t mention this but it’s an aspect of the MK god-bothering that gets right up my nose: so often, when things are going well or when a hun announces an impossible goal that they’re definitely going to meet this time, it’s all I statements in active voice: “If it’s to be, it’s up to me.” “I’m going to work my butt off and earn that Caddy!” “I’m going to make NSD in a month with 5 offspring under me.” “I know this is god’s plan for me!”
And yet, when things are going badly and they miss their goal by a parsec, it’s suddenly god’s fault and passive voice: “The doubters and sinners dragged me down.” “I need to trust in god’s plan for me.” “God is testing my commitment.” Don’t be blaming god for these failures. Place the blame where it belongs – your greedy upline and most of all the MLM system, which dangles these dreams in front of you and makes trying to achieve them a nightmare.
I could only make it halfway through the article before it all started running together. Point taken though, MK has hijacked Christianity to serve its own ends. It’s truly sickening how they seek to co-mingle selling goods with God’s work.
For the love of Hippocrates, are people that self-unaware? And she calls MK “mist”? Just like PTCs, she comes here preaching belief instead of facts and evidence, rattling off scripts like a K-bot. Not everyone follows your particular god, hun, nor are we here for a church service.
She said, “My prayer for you, as you ponder these things in your heart, is that you will listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying to you and not your upline.”—
Perhaps this will speak to her in some way:
Quote: “There is a famous story told in Chassidic literature. The Master teaches the student that God created everything in the world to be appreciated, since everything is here to teach us a lesson.
One clever student asks “What lesson can we learn from atheists? Why did God create them?” The Master responds “God created atheists to teach us the most important lesson of them all — the lesson of true compassion.
You see, when an atheist performs an act of charity, visits someone who is sick, helps someone in need, and cares for the world, he is not doing so because of some religious teaching. He does not believe that God commanded him to perform this act. In fact, he does not believe in God at all, so his acts are based on an inner sense of morality. And look at the kindness he can bestow upon others simply because he feels it to be right.
“This means,” the Master continued “that when someone reaches out to you for help, you should never say ‘I pray that God will help you.’ Instead for the moment, you should become an atheist, imagine that there is no God who can help, and say ‘I will help you.’”