Written by Frosty Rose

Ah, June. The season of swimming pools, barbecues, popsicles, and more Mary Kay guilt-tripping than you thought possible. Because this month is when it ALL happens.

For the blissfully uninitiated, Mary Kay’s fiscal year, which they call a “Seminar Year,” runs July 1-June 30 each year. This is the timeframe to win all those (spit) diamonds, luxury trips (for the very very few), and stage walks. You may even get crowned queen for your efforts, if your credit limit is higher than everyone else’s and you’re more willing to sell your soul for a fake tiara.

Linda Toupin, retired nsd (who remains active against the terms of her contract by continuing to run her unit with her daughter as proxy), is the master of Mary Kay manipulation. She famously thinks that the US would be a better place if everyone had to run a Mary Kay “business” for at least a year. After that year, you can choose to stay in or quit, but you’ll have learned so many skills in that time that you won’t be a failure! Intriguingly, the return window for those large front-loaded inventory orders is one year. Coincidence? Hmm…

But I digress. Our friend Linda Toupin claims credit for this particular piece of teamwork propaganda which continues to make its rounds with many directors. If you’re a Mary Kay consultant, and you’ve received it from your director, I invite you to scratch the rah-rah surface and explore the blatant manipulation. Your MK unit is just like a championship team, and Linda wants to know if you’re going to be a team player.

Sports metaphors abound when a team is trying to win, especially when everyone is trying to pull together during the last moments of the “game.” But I think it’s important to ask the following questions:

Who wins? This one is easy in Mary Kay. Corporate wins. Along with approximately .04% of the sales force who’s lucky enough to turn a decent profit. Of course, that’s not what Linda is talking about, nor the directors who copy her words and send them out as their own. By their calculation, the unit wins bragging rights. But, even by their calculation, only the director wins the glory, the stage walks, the cars, the diamonds, and the trips. The rest of you plebes get to watch from her social media and be jealous.

Who loses? Reverse the numbers above. 99.96% of the sales force will not make money in this loser of a business.

What is won? Fame! Glory! Honor! Bragging rights! A special luncheon at seminar just for Cadillac units! Oh, wait, they canceled that last part… But, really. Unless you’re the elite of the elite in Mary Kay, gunning for the annual trip, you might win a stage walk at seminar or a nearly worthless, gaudy ring. Other than that, the win is purely intangible. And I’m all for intangible wins, depending on the answer to the final question.

What does it cost? Lots and lots of time and money. Linda Toupin is also famous for “No Sex, No Supper” June. In other words, you should be working your business every single waking moment. No cooking. No family time. No rest. And when all that work doesn’t result in the sales you need to hit your goal (or, more accurately, your director’s goal), you’ll top up the orders on your credit card. Maybe that’s a few hundred extra dollars. But if you’re a “starting player,” it’s more likely to run into the thousands.  Don’t forget, this effort will cost you relationships (people are going to avoid you like the plague because all you can talk about is lipstick and lotion), your dignity (look up prior years’ challenges, which include wearing charcoal mask out and about all day and not washing it off until the goal was achieved), and your peace (again, no rest!).

And what is really behind this push for sales and orders in June? Well, money for Corporate, of course! Few real businesses thrive when the sales force is pushed by artificial challenges like this.

The result of the June crazies is the July doldrums, when you can’t get a party to save your life and sales are scarcer than Linda Toupin’s integrity because your customers are stocked up through September on their actual needs. Consultants are left with boxes and boxes of over-ordered inventory with a limited shelf life and no one interested in buying.

Of course, that’s the point. Because in Mary Kay, the real customer is the consultant. And corporate doesn’t care how much product you have on your shelf or the balance on your credit card. Because the inventory has moved been sold to their customer, and they’re a debt free business.