Recruiting Manipulation
Check out this recruiting script. It has all of the manipulative tactics you have come to expect from Mary Kay recruiters. (Really, recruiters for any MLM will use these.) There is the body language and the false flattery. Then you inch forward in the process. Watch the video in the next 2 days. Then have the director present for the call or coffee meeting. We’re not messing around anymore.
Notice that even if the prospect says no…. the manipulation continues with more attempts to get her involved in the process.
Look at your customer and lean forward some; try to get lower than her so that your head is lower than hers, even a little! Look her in the eyes and say, “I have a question to ask you. After watching me today, could you ever in your wildest dreams see yourself doing Mary Kay either part time for extra cash or for extra fun? I think you would be great and the reason I think you would be great is I watched you today and…”
Give her a sincere compliment. She’s sharp, she’s fun to be around, people are comfortable around her – whatever it is that you picked up about her, tell her in a compliment! No one gets offended by a sincere compliment!
Once you finish telling her you think she would be good followed by the compliment, then button your lip and let her respond, because that’s when we lose it – when we talk! She then will say something that isn’t a flat no, she stammers a little, or she just might say, “Yes, I think I could.”
You will then offer the information to her that is necessary to give her so that she is more informed in order to make a decision. “Great! I would love to send you home with some information. I have a video that will really give you all the information about our company in a fun way.
This is a video of one of the top women in our company at an actual guest event and she shares how she got started and moved up in the business. It’s really great. In fact, after many people watch it I find that they watch it 3 or 4 times more because they like it so well, I really do find that! I’ll tell you what, after watching it this may not be for you, but at least you will be well informed and you will know what you are saying no to!”
Once you have given her the information you will say, “By the way, do you have 45 minutes in the next 48 hours to watch the video? Great! Let’s plan on talking on X date; is there a time that is better for you that we can get together for coffee or talk on the phone, which works better for you? Great!”
Remember do not leave her without a specific time scheduled to talk about what she has watched. It is also better to do this on neutral ground – such as a coffee shop, and away from home interruptions. Say, “I also want you to know that I am moving up in management in my business and part of my training is to get women’s opinion of this video and to work closely with my director for training.
Do I have your permission that my Director join us? (keep talking!) I would love for her to meet you and part of my training is that she will ask questions to get your opinion, while I listen and learn. I know you will give us your honest opinion and that is what we want.”
Having your Director join you all depends on where you are at with your training in your business. By asking your prospect “45 minutes in the next 48 hours,” you are going to help her to visualize in her mind her schedule and when she is going to do this. She is going to respond with a definitive answer so that you can schedule in the next 24-48 hours to get back with her on the video. “Yes, I think I could watch it tomorrow.” “Great! I will see you (or call you) on ________” (important to repeat the date and time).
You ask her the questions for her opinion rather than giving her a questionnaire, this creates the dialogue, which is so important in a Marketing appointment/interview for building the relationship. After you talk with her about the video, if she has more questions or needs more information, invite her to the Success Night Unit Meeting. Of course if her interest is very high and she is very eager, invite her right away to your Unit Meeting — the sooner the better. It is better to refer to Unit Meeting Night as your Success Night, rather than a “meeting!”
If the person you are speaking with does not sound like they are interested at all in learning more about our Company then you might say, “I have to tell you, when you say you could never see yourself doing this I can understand what you are saying. I know how you feel, because I felt the same way when I joined this company 10 years ago.
But, I decided that it would be better to listen to the facts before I said no so that I knew what I was saying no to! I promise you if after listening to the information you still do not see yourself doing something like this I will not bother you again!! I also promise you that you will be in shock when you hear what our company has to offer.”
Happy Recruiting!
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“I also promise you that you will be in shock when you hear what our company has to offer.”
Shocked. SHOCKED! Than people are still peddling this crap in 2026.
This is all so creepy and gross.
And they’ve been doing it like this for decades.
OHAI huns, would you care to hear how all this can shake out in the real world?
I’ve mentioned at least every 3 minutes during my time here that I’m a knitter and crocheter and on Saturdays I hang out at the local yarn shop. A few years ago the owner hired a new person, “Marlene”, mostly to do social media and photography but also to help customers.
From the start, Marlene was… a little too much. The simplest things would earn effusive praise: “the way you knit is hypnotic!” (Me: “Thanks? I’m just knitting. I do that.”) She was oddly intrusive and persistent: “Can I take video of your hands while you knit? Pretty please?” (My sister: “I would prefer that you didn’t” and then radio silence when she persisted.) I had finished a project but wasn’t really happy with how it came out, and I wanted to do some tweaking before letting her photograph it. She Would. Not. Stop. Bugging. Me. I finally let her because I didn’t want to make a big stink over a craft project.
Every question she asked, even about something as simple as what town do you live in, was followed by a tidal wave of apologies and self-abasement clearly designed to make the victim assure her it was fine and soothe her poor flustered awkward feelings before divulging their life stories. In reality, the inevitable reaction was “I’m from Townsville” followed by a puzzled look at the “Oh I’m sorry I shouldn’t pry really I’m too nosy you don’t have to answer that I’m just curious but it’s really none of my business…”
And one day a customer asked what she’d done before coming to work at the shop. I was at the group table across the room and wasn’t really listening until I heard the words “…and then I was in Mary Kay for a while…” AND IT ALL MADE PERFECT SENSE!!!
The fatuous compliments, the bullying disguised as encouragement, the emotional manipulation were everything described in this article – Marlene had embraced it, married it, eaten it for breakfast.
I cringed so hard.
And what was the consequence of Marlene hunning all over the regulars and customers? As the weeks passed fewer and fewer regulars were coming to the Saturday sessions. The owner, a no-nonsense woman who’s A) super loyal to her friends B) started working at her family’s sizeable business at 12 and has run it for 30+ years and C) really is a sharp and sensible businesswoman noticed. I don’t know if anyone complained to her directly, but she noticed. I also don’t know what she said to Marlene, but she doesn’t mince words or sugarcoat things.
Marlene was absent for a few weeks. She reappeared much subdued. The gushing compliments and the pushiness were gone. She was still kind of self-effacing but hardly to the degree she’d shown before. After a while she’s been accepted as one of the gang, the regulars came back, and she shows off her own talents instead of blowing sunshine up everyone else’s ass.
The moral of the story is that people can sense when you’re being insincere and manipulative, and they don’t like it. The ghosting? The infinite excuses? The people avoiding you a block away? It’s because this thing that you’re doing is off-putting and dislikeful, and as women we’re socialized to smooth things over instead of being blunt and perceived as “rude” so we opt for avoidance instead of telling you to get stuffed. But we really do want you to get stuffed. So freaking cut it out already and you might be surprised when people start liking you again.
Apparently the script hasn’t changed at all since I memorized it 31 years ago. I’m not sure how many video tapes I handed out and never got back. My director got the prospects to sign up with the ‘minimum’ order to start. Soon after, the new recruit found out they could have started at a much lower level and got mad and shipped it all back. Had that happen a dozen times or better. I feel so bad today about the trickery used on those families.
That was another thing that bugged me: Consultants pay for the videos or CDs or whatever marketing materials we used. Just more money down the Mary Kay drain.
Good for them for shipping it back! (Also, I was a terrible recruiter in my time. I could see how pushy & manipulative the scripts were, so I didn’t use them. I shared the opportunity with people I thought would like it. Without manipulation I had no one join & only 1 actually talk to my director. Lol
Some I heard in videos:
“We’re opening up new territories and are looking for leaders.”
“We’re looking for sharp women for our leadership development program.”
“You’d be great at Mary Kay!” (You just met me two minutes ago.)
“This will help me with my training!” (You told me you’ve been in MK for 20 years.)
.
How can they open up new territories when there are no territories in MK? Lol.
A Mary Kay recruiter never let a pesky little fact stand in the way of recruiting.
Sounds very much like cult tactics.
BIGGEST. BOLD-FACED. LIE. EVER. “I promise you if after listening to the information you still do not see yourself doing something like this I will not bother you again!!”
I will bother you daily until you give in or block me! LOL