Families and Mary Kay

kkaddysWritten by SuzyQ

One of Mary Kay’s selling points to starry-eyed new recruits is the gift of time they can devote to their families and those they hold dear. After all, the priorities are said to be Faith First, Family Second and Career Third, right? Not exactly.

Let’s focus on family and those other relationships that make us who are are. When you start a Mary Kay business, you are told that you will be able to devote more time to your family and they will become your REASON as opposed to your excuse. This means mandatory attendance at the weekly success meeting and any and all opportunities to “move up.” These opportunities include Career Conference, Seminar, retreats, Power Up Days, Muffins and Makeovers, Pizza and Possibilities, Career Breakfasts, Guest Events, Diva Days, banquets and other quarterly, daily, or weekly events.

Now, granted, MK is not child friendly, but as we said, this effort will pay off for your family. You “may” have to make short term sacrifices for long term gains, but really, it WILL be worth it!

So, your kids are spending more time with their father (if you are not a single mom) or their grandparents or aunt or neighbor, but it helps with the development of social skills and bonding, right? Or maybe you have to pay for child care, but again, one class will take care of that expense and it IS a tax deduction, right? They may endear themselves to you by clinging to your legs as you leave, but it WILL be okay, right?

Then there is your spouse or significant other. They are supportive of your efforts and your dream, and quite frankly are pretty pumped about your income potential! Your director has met with them, or they are getting their information from you, and really, what do you have to lose? $100? It’s nothing. And you can be so much more.

There is visible swallowing when the initial inventory is mentioned, but really, it’s not so much considering all of the business expenses that can be deducted and instant delivery makes sense. (After all, OTHER businesses cost tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars to start, right?)

The phone time is understandable, too. As are the postage expenses, the training expenses and the time away from home. The new wardrobe makes sense. Manicures and more frequent trips to the beautician make sense too. For a while anyway.

Your husband or significant other will be cheering you on as you bask in your initial sales. (Don’t tell them when your sales are bad, though. Don’t want them to get the wrong impression.) Your friends are kind and help you out (make pity purchases) because they sense your excitement and want to see you succeed. You are on your way.

Ah, your friends. As your director has explained to you..it is so very cool to have your friends on your team! I mean… you OWE it to them to introduce them to this opportunity. You surely can’t be SELFISH and keep this opportunity of a lifetime a secret, can you?

You can help your friends make their dreams come true and as a real “paycheck of the heart,” their activity helps you move closer to your dream! There are some custody disputes over joint friends as customers and potential recruits, but it’s all settled easily. That Go Give Spirit in Mary Kay just about brings tears to your eyes! You are so lucky to be involved in a company that has that sort of integrity and caring.

And then… it’s a new quarter! New products! Some are Limited Edition and you learn that you must order NOW, or you will be out of luck. They sell out. So, you order again. It’s okay because you are building your inventory and the new stuff gives you a reason to call your customers. Good business acumen.

Your sales slow down some… You and your new recruits have tapped out your natural market and some of your friends are just a little upset that you keep calling them and inviting them to event after event. Your spouse or significant other starts asking about your classes and your sales.

You have a hard time booking classes and your sales are really lagging. Even when everyone at a class has had fun, bought products, and seems to love Mary Kay, they aren’t booking their follow-up appointments. What? This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You talk to your Sales Director and she presents you with the “Emotional Cycle of Mary Kay.” There is a little relief when you realize you aren’t alone in your “negative” feelings, and it is so ironic that your sales director sends you an email that really talks about how you are feeling… week after week for the first 12. Amazing insight!

It’s another quarter again already. Are you sensing a pattern here? Your supportive spouse or significant other has started being “negative.” You are told to NOT discuss your personal disappointment with him. He doesn’t get it.

Your inventory has grown considerably and although you have started getting the credit card bill out of the mail before the Negative Nellie can see it, you take comfort in the fact that you have a CASH MACHINE with your inventory! Where else can you double your money with each sale? All you have to do is get on the phone. Your best customers are waiting to be recruited and/or they would love to be a hostess for you! And there are sharp women everywhere you look!

Your children ask why you have to be gone so much or they demand your attention when YOU ARE IN YOUR OFFICE WORKING, and sometimes it becomes just too much. So, to help yourself over this slump, you go online and read the “I Stories” of the national sales directors and get inspired again. You check out social media to see all the fabulous things the top directors are doing and buying and you get re-energized and focused.

You are not making any money, but you continue to spend money. After all, you know you have to spend it to earn it. No great business was ever build without INVESTMENT! You can earn that money back and so much more if you are WILLING TO WORK!

If your heart and bank balance tell you it is not a good decision to go to an event, you are told that is EXACTLY the reason you NEED to go. If you explain this to your spouse or significant other, they look at you as though you have lost your mind, so you decide to put on your “big girl panties” and announce that you ARE going. Grown women are NOT told what they can and cannot do.

It occurs to you that you are NOT making money, your friends avoid you (and frankly, if they aren’t good customers or potential recruits, they really are no good to you… plus, they start rolling their eyes when you mention Mary Kay and you just don’t need that kind of negativity in your life anyway) and your time with your beloved is on hold as you pursue your dream.

And the kids. Well, kids are resilient and when they get older, they will appreciate what you have done. Plus you get to spend time with them when you use child labor to unpack and organize your boxes and boxes of inventory each month.

Not only that, they are watching you and the lessons that are caught, rather than taught, have more of an impact. They will see you setting and reaching goals, or at least working until the very last minute, and persistence is a great quality, as is patience. Mary Kay kids are the best, and Mary Kay marriages are the strongest.

Except, that Mary Kay kids get pregnant, start using drugs, develop eating disorders, have ADHD and high levels of depression, just like the rest of the world. The difference is that the Mary Kay moms tend to miss the signs because they aren’t around to notice. And Mary Kay marriages are plagued with mistrust and anger because it’s hard to be in a marriage or any other intimate relationship alone. And the secrets that are kept about Mary Kay… well…. shhhhhhh…..

But it’s all worth it. Really.


  1. To any recent recruits who may have stumbled upon this site:

    SuzyQ knows whereof she speaks. She was in Mary Kay for many years and achieved a very high level before she left. To anyone looking at her from the outside, the was the epitome of Mary Kay success. But she saw from the inside that it was all far too much sacrifice for far too little reward. She saw that even the top 1% were barely getting by, while the rest lost money, lost health, lost relationships, lost time.

    So pay close attention to what SuzyQ and others here have to say. They’re telling you your future.

    • We sure are! I can still quote things from Director meetings and classes that are still used and are heartbreaking when you realize you’ve been duped.

      Read this clearly: Don’t get in. If you’re already in, send every piece of inventory back for your refund. You don’t need this stress and mental health drain in your life.

  2. “God first family second career third” is bullsh!t. Why? Because when Mary Kay is “from God” and “blessed by God” and “your calling from God” it is Mary Kay first above everything else.

  3. This post is critical information. Yesterday, we read about a deep lack of integrity at the corporate level. Today, we touch on the parts of this business that erode your personal integrity.

    Ask yourself the hard questions about your values. And watch your director and others around you in MK.

    Extra time with your family? When? When you hit the next goal? But what about the one after that? And even when you’re with your family, do you ever turn “off”? When your phone rings or your text dings or an email comes through, you can’t ignore it! It might be your next new recruit or miracle set sale.

    Please wake up. And reconnect with what you really want.


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