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Tips For Enjoying Seminar

Written by The Scribbler

Listen; can you hear it? The pumping beat of a hot mix tape designed to motivate, energize, and get you hopping around on your high heels like a stork trying to do the Lindy Hop.

“Rock you Like A Hurricane?” Uh-uh…no WAY! That song was my prom theme – me being here must be a divine act! In fact, paying off the $1,000 + charges I’m going to accumulate from this event is going to TAKE a divine act. Excuse me, waiter? I’ll have what that director on the floor over there is having.

Seminar is on the horizon! Are you ready? Whatever your answer is, you aren’t TRULY ready until you take a gander at these handy Seminar tips courtesy of NSD Pamela Shaw. She’s absolutely got YOUR needs in mind, young padawan learners; so purge thyself of all uncleanliness and come sit at her feet! Hey, you in the back – remove your close-toed shoes; the place on which you stand is holy ground! Now let’s get it ON!

1. “Stay in company hotels. If the EVENT IS IN YOUR CITY, STILL stay in a Company hotel. Driving back and forth from your home keeps you ½ in the Conference and ½ in your home life and responsibility. There is NO WAY you can have an effective ‘thought shift’ or FULL Experience that way.”

You’re kidding, right? Let’s see here…choices, choices…

– Sleep under a foreign, crowded, and overpriced roof in a sagging hotel bed that everyone from the local Mafia boss to Cinnamon the stripper has done business in.

– Sleep under a familiar, cozy, and best of all, FREE roof in my own comfy bed, where – chances are – any business it has witnessed doesn’t fall under headings listed in the Dallas police blotter.

(Although my director said I needed to throw my husband a bone once in a while to make him LOVE my business…)

2. Attend ALL classes, ALL General Sessions, Individual Education Classes. ALL. You’d be hard pressed to find a Million $ Director or NSD who skipped—ever. Certainly not after she made the decision to grow and advance her organization.

I love how Pam whips out the guilt whammy right off of the bat; the tone reminds me of Ms. Almira Gulch from the “Wizard of Oz”:

“Tsk! Now Sally, you’d best be at every class at Seminar! I’ve never heard of ANY NSD who’s ever skipped – well, certainly not one who’s made the choice to grow her business! (clears throat, sniffles) Now get back outside and bang those erasers together or it’ll be the Dunce cap for you again tomorrow.”

Look, if I paid over $1,000 to get to Seminar, you can darn well bet I am going to spend that time as I please and you should, too! As my momma used to say, “Honey, if she ain’t payin’ your rent, she can howl all she wants – it don’t mean a thing to you.”

So, (ahem) is Pam Shaw paying YOUR way to Seminar? No? Then go see Dallas, for crying out loud! Six Flags is the bomb, the Dallas Museum of Art is relaxing, and come on, does Mary Kay really care whether or not you go to her museum? I guarantee your business and how you run it is the LAST thing on her mind right now!

Part two of this comment involves a bit of medical terminology, so if you were on target to become a medical professional before Mary Kay ripped that dream from your arms and replaced it with the Dream of NSD-dom, you’ll love this. Why, it might even inspire you to pursue that dream once again!

“Headache, tiredness, sore feet, interview, shopping, first time in a great city—never an excuse. If Mary Kay herself attended Seminar with Shingles, I can press through my personal discomfort.”

Okay, add this one to the “Now I Officially Know Too Much” file. Shingles is very contagious and can be passed to anyone who hasn’t had chickenpox, and the open sores one has with shingles makes passing it on pretty easy. NO event on the planet is worth killing yourself over.

Any company that insists that you attend one of their events while disregarding your personal condition and/or needs does NOT have your best interests in mind! For the sake of your roommates and the women who will be seated around you, if you are SICK, you have no business being at Seminar! Stay HOME and do it without a twinge of guilt!!

23 Comments

  1. Missy C

    We are on a roll here this week–Raisinberry’s creative breakdown of Seminar awards yesterday and now this hilariously snarky talk-back-at-Pam-Shaw essay today by Scribbler. I love this site and the folks who make it such a fun and informative place to be!

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  2. Popinki

    “Headache, tiredness, sore feet, interview, shopping, first time in a great city—never an excuse. If Mary Kay herself attended Seminar with Shingles, I can press through my personal discomfort.”

    WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Knowingly exposing your legion of worshippers to a contagious, painful disease isn’t noble, it’s borderline sociopathic. And it makes me wonder how many women who are stuffing themselves into planes and buses and hotel rooms and banquet halls are bringing COVID along with them this year. That’s the best reason of all to stay the heck away from seminar: potential superspreader event!

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    1. Destiny Angel

      IIRC, Paparazzi told their customers I mean consultants not to mention any one who had contracted Covid at their Las Vegas seminar last year. I’ve seen reports of over 20 deaths but it’s difficult to verify since Paparazzi have scrubbed all their details from the company’s website.

  3. NayMKWay

    The only reason NSDs want everyone staying in cramped hotel rooms and attending every single event is out of selfish desires to keep the Kaybots brainwashed and pink befogged. Keep them convinced to stay on their hamster wheels, racking up losses that feed into top-dwellers’ bank accounts.

    Some interesting trivia: Margaret Hamilton, who protrayed Almira Gulch and the Wicked Witch of the West on 1939’s The Wizard of Oz, was a school teacher before she went into acting. She may in fact have sent a child or two out to clean erasers. She was nothing like her character though; she cared deeply about children and even appeared on Mister Rogers to explain to kids she was just playing a role.

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    1. Phoebe's Mom

      I watched her segment on Mr Rogers not that long ago! She brought her costume and put it on to help show the kids watching that she was just a regular, not scary woman pretending to be the witch. She stayed involved in education throughout her very long and wonderful career as an actress.

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    2. Missy C

      I remember seeing her in Maxwell House coffee commercials in later years–she was an innkeeper or something similar–and I remember thinking, “Ms. Margaret would have made an excellent schoolteacher–kind enough to be approachable, but firm enough that the kids would behave!”

  4. Heather

    Today is another home run!

    A – I always was annoyed that Seminar DJs played pop music. Where are the hard rock and heavy metal? You want to get someone motivated, play AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” or “Shoot to Thrill.” Sammy Hagar (with and without Van Halen) has some great stuff, and if you’re going to play Scorpions at an event, “Tease Me, Please Me” is WAY more fun! (Good for bringing out your inner stripper.) Throw in a little Shinedown, Volbeat, and one of my new favorite bands, Plush. While some of the pop music was cute, most of it was earworms that got annoying after two or three minutes.

    B – Ten points for Gryffindor for a Star Wars reference!

    C – I skipped a LOT of the classes, particularly with my last several Seminars. It was the SAME THING over and over, just spoken by a different person in a different ballroom. I would sleep in until 0900 or so, eat a nice breakfast, and head out for the day. The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza is very moving. I would make sure to be back at my non-NSD hotel in time to get ready and prep for whatever evening shenanigans were planned. If someone asked about my day, I’d tell them it was great and that I learned a lot!

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    1. Heather

      Also – shingles. There is a point where shingles are no longer contagious. Any sores or rashes HAVE to be fully crusted over. If there is still oozing or weeping, you are contagious. In the hospital, we put you on airborne isolation, which means a negative pressure room, N-95 masking, and lots of hand hygiene.

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          1. NayMKWay

            As do I, Shay. Misspelling “oh, no” as “oh, noes” is a slang way to indicate sarcasm, as is “gotta” for “got a”.

            (I dimly recall your saying English was not your first language. Please forgive me if I’ve crossed you with someone else.)

    2. Destiny Angel

      “Rock you like a hurricane” is by the Scorpions who are one of the seminal German metal bands. Lighter than a lot of their output over the years. They are one of the best bands for a pure rock ballad, “When the smoke is going down” or “still loving you” are pretty much the standard to aim for IMHO.

      Since I can’t see MKorpse playing death metal anytime soon, my fave bands are safe.

  5. ihatemk

    What!!!! Going out in the public with shingles?!!!! No way and shingles is painful as it is. Why on earth would anyone expose someone else to it. Now with Covid coming back should this event even go on? I work at a facility and we have 14 right now with it. No common sense being exercised here and I am not just taking about illness. The fanatastic “I” stories, the fake it til you make it bs and all the other crap MK promotes. Who wants to be in Dallas in this heat? Certainly not me. If I lived in an area where the seminar is being held, I would be in my own comfy bed doing WHAT I want to do. So glad I never fell for this MK bs. Scaminar is what it is. Ladies, do what you want to do. MK ain’t paying your way, you are and if you were so important to MK wouldn’t THEY be paying for you to attend and pay for EVERYTHING and not you. Just another way MK wants your $$$!

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