Facts, opinions, and the real story behind Mary Kay Cosmetics.

Following Mary Kay Leaders

Written by Raisinberry

BUT I CAN’T GET OUT. The practically supernatural deception that keeps you repeating your mistakes and locked in fear.

In my opinion, we have been seduced by a power bigger than we can even imagine. And in order to prevent it from happening again, and to hopefully help in the de-fogging process, a walk down memory lane might offer some clarity.

When we first walked through the doors of a Mary Kay event, we felt the awkward environment… didn’t we? We felt the possibility of being pressed into or cornered into making a decision to join. But the environment was so benign it seemed. So harmless. Girls just wanna have fun. These women already knew how to do something. They acted like they would continue on whether we wanted to join or not. These women had it mapped out. The way was clear. All we had to do was follow. All we had to do was follow.

Some of us are born rugged individualists. We rejected the compliance required to do it “the Mary Kay way,” but the results were what we wanted. Rugged Individualists usually want to be in charge. We had to shut down our normal discernment and analysis to continue up the career path because, “Analysis is paralysis” we were told. Do not THINK about your MK business – just “DO.”

We figured out early that recruiting created more activity than skin care classes. Nine times out of ten we hated booking the class but loved holding them. Center stage for us! When we had to start pretending that we had better results that we actually did, we ignored the twinge of conscience for the lie we told. (In your own personal business, who will actually find out if you did something or you didn’t? It’s more motivational to tell the impacting story- than the truth.) After all anything is possible, and every director you ever saw said exactly the same things.

We recognized that we were getting credit for sales and being accepted by the Big Girl directors by achieving accolades at star events and moving up the career path. We wanted the sweaters, the jumpsuits, the T-shirts that made us a part of the gang. We wanted to belong. Since following along is built into our wiring, following along it will be! The first time the directors gossiped about each other, our image was shattered. We had them high on the pedestal and knew they didn’t do any of that stuff. When a director quit, her reputation was tarnished. We would never want that in a million years – especially not after having worked so hard to get “in” the club.

Some of us are born naive. We first wondered why we were listed in the top ten in our unit after one month in, because our wholesale order was doubled as if we actually sold it. It didn’t matter really… and actually it was kind of nice to be at the top. We wondered why, though, long time consultants were so far down. We saw that the director said one thing about weekly sales averages, but nobody in the Unit stood up very much for $500 weeks. Many times, when she called out for a $300 week in sales, nobody was standing. Then there were all these people listed in the newsletter that you never saw, met, or heard from. You were told they were in different parts of the country. Then you saw recruits under your director’s name, who never came to meeting. Over and over you saw the strange scenarios that didn’t square with what you were told. Being naive, you are probably a loyal person… a trusting person. All kinds of buzzers were going off and you ignored them. Surely your director would not do anything underhanded or false. Every training class told you to listen to your director. She knew more. She knew how. Trust her. Follow her.

Some of us were wired for critical thinking. Right off the bat, we did the math. Sometimes our pathetic little units were embarrassing. We didn’t want to bring guests and have them think we had 6 unit members. We saw the big paychecks of the nationals and couldn’t help but realize how limited our own director was. We knew we could do a better job. All the antics were just silly. This career apparently had a big payout at the end of the journey and it was worth pursuing, even if it was frustrating trying to get answers and information on how to really do things. Somebody had to know “how to.” The best plan would be to head for director yourself and get out of “what’s her fluff’s” unit.

How could so many personalities arrive at the same conclusion to the journey? Mary Kay’s entire power over us is a deep-seated desire to have a way mapped out, in which all we have to do is follow. For every personality, for every level of ability, the discomfort and insecurity of uncertainty is what we fight against. We want to control the odds. We want to know our outcomes. Following the Lead Sheep who appear to have what we want is a powerful pull that requires us to relax in a kind of self denial, placing all trust into whoever is shepherding. When the shepherd dresses up like The Shepherd of our Souls, or claims to at least be honoring HIM, the deception is all the more sweet. The message to follow whatever your director says, she’s leading you where you want to go, is a comfort and deception not foreign to this world.

By making you dissatisfied with the life you have, dangling the trinkets of wealth, prestige and importance, deluding you into thinking you were building something independent and strong with Godly principles, while also causing you to omit details, lie or hide your activity from significant family members, and having to face the fact that 99% of it was fraud, is a humiliation that the average sheep can not handle. You are devastated.

You have been controlled by shame. You to hide in shame, embarrassed by your past decisions, endlessly trying to get yourself out of the spot you are in, so no one can find out you weren’t entirely honest. You are trapped. You fear. But now, you know too much to continue to follow the counterfeit. You are being drawn back to Pink Truth because the truth is resonating in your heart. The problem becomes can you stop following the illusion of security, station and importance, for the unknowns?

Following becomes our greatest weakness or our greatest strength. It is quite possible that our adversary uses this incredible gift to our destruction. It is NEVER too late to follow what is truth, and turn “following” into your greatest strength.


  1. Frosty Rose

    I was the critical thinker. And it’s deeply embarrassing on this end of the MK debacle to admit that. But I was so frustrated with my director for so long because she was a poor leader. Surely, with a better leader, I would be in better shape. Surely, without her limiting me, hamstringing me, I would have been successful by now. I just needed to get to directorship myself to lose those shackles of incompetence. So I lied and cheated my way into directorship only to find that the destination wasn’t really all it was cracked up to be. But just ignore the man behind the curtain and carry on. Get to senior director, executive senior director, national. That pot of gold has to be there somewhere… If it’s not, then that means that everyone in the Mary Kay machine is lying to us. Oh, wait… They are.

    Sometimes the simplest explanation really is the best one–Mary Kay doesn’t work for the vast majority of consultants, and it never has. And corporate has spent the better part of 70 years perfecting methods of obscuring that very simple fact.

    1. Ruby Slippers

      I wonder if former top director Kelly Brock is lying about her new 1.5 million dollar business she built after leaving Mary Kay. Is it all still fake it till you make it ? Or is she finally being authentic?

    2. PurpleH

      I felt the same, Frosty Rose. My director had a revolving door of new consultants who would “sell” a ton, get a gold medal, and disappear. Our meetings started late, and she yapped on for so long about the “opportunity” that any guests just wanted out of there, rarely sticking around to make a purchase. She ran a new gimmick promotion every other month and provided zero real sales training. Meetings were so frustrating!
      I now know that she had no real sales training to share, desperately needed our orders, and was always just hanging on to a unit. 100% brainwashed, but not a strong enough brainwashed herself to build a strong following. She’s now divorced and her status is Consultant.

  2. Mountaineer95


    I think the “sunk cost fallacy” is a big part of MK. In fact, I think I first heard of the term here (or another anti MLM site). Just when your accumulated debt SHOULD be your sign to get out while you can, you’ve already spent too much to turn back now. I’ve sat in front of a slot machine many times with this in my mind.

    Do you leave MK right now, having sunk several thousands into it? If you do, you know you’re leaving having accrued that debt. Or do you stay in a little longer, hoping the NEXT $1000 you pay into it will finally help you not only make back your debt but somehow bring you profit?


  3. Eyes Wide Open

    And worse is your best friend in life drew you in to this vast hole of nothingness knowing the scam. How do you repair that? You don’t. Not ever, really. All the intelligence and critical thinking in the world was trumped by the trust factor and the love for the person. And years later you can’t really look them squarely in the eye and believe you were so foolish- shame reigns.

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