Fake It In Mary Kay
Written by A Mary Kay Quitter
Faking it. That’s what I was doing as a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. Could it be you, too?
Do you find yourself wearing clothing that really isn’t you–but you do it because you have a ‘dress code’ to follow? The rules under my director were simple. As a new consultant, you wear a black skirt, pantyhose, a white button down shirt, and a black blazer.
Once you ‘earned’ it, you got to buy the red jacket. Even if you didn’t have the money, this was required of you at all meetings. I was to look the part of a business woman. The owner of my company. Successful.
But I wasn’t. I faked it all the way. I was told I shouldn’t leave the house without my face and hair done. Don’t wear jeans or yucky clothes if you were going out in public with anything Mary Kay on your person. Certainly don’t hand out a business card or tell someone you sell it unless you were dressed for success.
At first, this was a huge self-esteem boost. Looking like a million bucks . . . fooling yourself and everyone around you . . . but then I started to realize that I wasn’t me. Somewhere along the way I had sold my self-esteem.
But how is that possible? Well, when I was dressed the part, when I had the role down, and when I was in my Mary Kay persona, I wasn’t me. I felt I needed to hide who I was. I was ashamed to be a middle class woman. I was ashamed when I, a dressed to kill consultant, didn’t make a dime at a class. How could I not have made the sale? I was dressed the part. I had faked it. Why hadn’t I made it?
Well, because I wasn’t really me. I found that when I was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, when I was approachable, I did better at Mary Kay. But that isn’t what they want. They want a bunch of women all dressed and looking the same, faking who they are and what they believe in to be representative of their cosmetics. In fact, it was Mary Kay herself who once said, “You can’t sell a Cadillac in a junkyard.” Well, actually, you can.
Once I finally walked away from Mary Kay, and the dreams I had set for myself, I was able to make goals that were realistic for me that didn’t involve cash and jewelry and cars. They involved reboosting my self esteem. Valuing who I was based on who I was. Not what I had sold the week before. My clothes became comfortable again. I was happy in my skin.
I was done living a lie. My outer shell matched my inner shell, and I felt like I was a person of worth. Of value. Isn’t that what life is about? The ultimate goal?
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Comments (8)
job4me2
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Somehow, I don’t think people who own real businesses have a director to have to listen to and a dress code.
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raisinberry
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Yes, this is how out of touch Mary Kay and its training is. They pat themselves on the back as if they believe they are creating this professional world, this classy environment, completely clueless about reality.
The life of a NSD is held out to be the pinnacle of success. Who would be the wiser? It’s all about money, trips, prizes, freedom. I guess if this is how its done, then this is how you do it. Each SD mimicked the one above her-and asked few, if any, questions. The hierarchy, the dress code, the blouse and clothing designations, the fawning over fake jewelry, the required attendance, the tight control and expectations, the sayings and scripting, all point (clearly to me now) to a kind of brain washing and cult control that if repetitiously applied, slowly robs self esteem and individual thought.
I think what happens over time is that increasingly lower self esteem breeds dependence, and a need to only “do what your Director says”.
Didn’t they always reinforce that thinking?
Yep. You lose yourself. End of story. This explains the fierce defense of Mary Kay by those who a neck deep in it. Their entire lives become exposed as one big lie, and that reality would be crippling. Can’ t go there. What would possible be left if you found out you were a dupe in an enormous con game?
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Shieldmaiden1196
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I used to drive 35 miles from a professional job to my meetings with no time for dinner or a stop at home and was called and told by the director that she was unhappy with the shoes I chose to wear to meetings. Why I didn’t tell her where to stick it right then I’ll never know. If I took anything away from my failed business, pointless debt, and general stress of my MK experience, it was a low tolerance for shenanigans. I no longer allow myself to get railroaded into something and told how to behave.
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Lea B
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I couldn’t agree more with you Shieldmaiden1196, I was in the same boat as you. The meetings, I was loving them at first, but then realized how repetitive and Same ol same ol it was each time. I got really tired of recognition, if you sold product, great news…but if you didnt, you felt like crap. Then our director would make us set goals for ourselves, and if they were too low or too long distant…she wouldnt like it. She’d want us to earn our car in 3 months or so. Unrealistic goals, for a person with a full time job already. I got tired of dressing super nice every monday for the meetings…felt myself wearing same clothes alot lol. I have my professional wear, but not enough for every damn Monday, and can’t really afford that! I looked nice, trust me…..but still felt like my director judged me everytime I walked in. And then over Christmas, we had our Christmas party, we all sat on folding chairs in a circle…this one lady in our unit was taking pics…after the party…she pulled me aside (really pulled hard on arm) and told me she could see up my skirt in pics and to wear a longer skirt next time, which idk how this is possible..my skirt went to knees and I MADE sure that legs were closed for that reason. We were in the center of the room when she told me, so all the other ladies heard…i felt completely embarrassed and just pissed off in general at her! There’s a fine line with being honest and being rude. Finally out though, so glad too! Lesson learned.
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L
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This is exactly why I left Mary Kay. Mind control has no place in something that is supposed to be a business that helps me determine my own future. Being YOURSELF and working smart is what makes a person successful.
The dress code is also very sexist, and I have no time for such nonsense. There are much better companies out there to work with or for in which a woman can be herself and successful too.
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Mi Ki
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Sexist yes! And not even in a way that male chauvinists would like!
I mean, it’s one thing to enjoy retro dressing (especially if “retro” was one’s own era) or to prefer to dress modestly. But the MK dress code isn’t so much Fab Fifties as it is a kind of necrophilia. And it certainly isn’t modest. It’s hard-edged, loud and snarling in addition to being gaudy. Mary Kay was a caricature when she was alive, and to force women to dress as if they admire her turns women into clowns.
And pantyhose? News flash: Pantyhose is underwear. If you come into contact with any business that tells you what kind of underwear to wear, run like hell. It couldn’t be good.
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MLM Radar Detector
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Hmmmm… the Army tells its folks what kind of underwear to wear. They even provide the approved garments during Basic Training.
And they make you run like hell while you’re there. Isn’t that good?
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Mi Ki
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Haha! I’d rather serve my country than the smile-and-squirt brigade. And I shudder when I think about why the MK leadership is *really* smiling and squirting.
Which reminds me…any Kaybot targeting military families should not be permitted to operate a motor vehicle, phone or doorbell. And all her pink plastic should be recycled and re-purposed as specimen jars at the VA Hospital.
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