A Consultant’s Letter to Her Director

All the reasons why Mary Kay is not for this consultant.

Hey SD:

Thanks for the talk today. I’m working hard on hearing God’s purpose for me, and I am not sure that Mary Kay is His message. I know it is mine, but I’m not sure it is His. I have to let Go and Let God. I’m working hard to do that.

My life is complicated, and I can’t walk away from the overwhelming responsibilities that are before me. I feel so crunched for time, all of the time, that life has become a series of appointments, deadlines, and obligations. I’m tired of this lifestyle, and I want to be able to relax and leisurely enjoy my friends and family, in a way that isn’t scheduled or rushed.

I got into MK to make some serious income to offset the expenses for my family. However, I find that the harder I work, the less money I make. How can that be? It seems like I am constantly writing a check or using my credit card to pay for NSD visits, training events, recognition events, etc. I’m constantly going somewhere or doing something to support my business that I have little time left to actually hold classes and sell products. After all, you always say, “Those that show up, go up!” Therefore, I never want to miss anything.

Most unfortunately, my time with you always feels so scheduled. I don’t like that feeling at all. Like today… I was so ready to deliver the lip creme and just chat, but you basically said, “No.” You indicated that you had to “make a few other calls” and “pick up kids.” I know that your time is so limited, but so is mine, quite frankly. I have always felt like I have to be scheduled into a time slot to talk to you or see you. I don’t agree with that! To me, it’s not natural, and it’s not genuine.

True friends just are! We make time and spend time, regardless of the situation or circumstance. That’s what I don’t feel with you, and it hurts! I know I have issues, I’m not perfect, and I can sometimes be the hardest person to be around. Having said that… I am true and genuine. I am honest and trustworthy. I don’t back down from many challenges, and I’m accountable for my actions. In light of all my faults, I have some pretty damn good assets. My track record in MK speaks for itself. I don’t know what I ever did to lose your trust, but I have.

It’s probably the whole “Sheila” thing, but I can’t apologize for that. Sheila is my friend, and I don’t ditch my friends for reasons that are “not about me.” That’s who I am, and that’s what I stand for. No matter how things went down for you two, it had NOTHING to do with me. I got caught up in the middle, and I truly resent that. You are paid “handsomely” for the strife that occurs as a Sales Director. You are the professional that knows the most. I should never be expected to take sides. It isn’t fair or logical.

Throughout my entire career in Mary Kay, YOU have made it painfully clear that a Sales Director holds more credence than anyone else in the world of pink. I have been pushed aside, left out, and disregarded because I’m not “in the suit.” I have told you many times that I don’t agree with that philosophy, and yet I’m continually held to that standard. It’s ridiculous.

I have a voice that matters. Every Sales Director that I have met is out for herself. The unwritten philosophy is… how can I get to the next level, quickly, easily, without strife? That pretense really bothers me. I’m tired, and I don’t want any part of becoming an arrogant, pompous, self-righteous “Cadillac Sales Director.” It is a BIG TURN OFF, pure and simple, and I know that God has a greater plan for me. I’m anxious to find out, more than ever. I’m proud of your accomplishments, and I respect your achievements; however, I don’t feel the least bit motivated to get into the suit or to drive a Cadillac.

Another thing that causes me deep concern is the lack of knowledge so many of you “sales directors” have with the outside world. I find it incredibly hard to revere “professional” sales directors that don’t even read the local newspapers and keep up on current events. I don’t care what your reason or circumstance, it just doesn’t make logical, professional sense.

The pink world isn’t the only world that matters. If you have to isolate yourself from everything else in order to succeed in MK, then something is terribly wrong with this philosophy. I realize that the world is so much bigger than me, my problems, and my issues. The constant focus on trivial matters involving our pink world, frankly makes my head spin. How can we take a blind’s eye to all else that truly matters in life? Yes, it is much easier to be ignorant. I totally agree; however, God calls us to be bigger than ourselves. I believe that is what Mary Kay Ash always wanted! So far, in MK, I haven’t seen that.

Pure and simple, I deserve more, and God expects more!


  1. Tigger

    Wow. That is profound and very sad. Could have written much of it myself. All the crap mlms spew about getting your time back is exactly that – crap!

    I’m pushing 60 and I can tell you, I am overworked, always rushed, and exhausted. Realizing I have worked like a dog my whole life and that my life-savings could vanish in the blink of an eye is terrible. I keep hoping for that relaxed retired time, but I don’t know if it will ever happen. Do you realize how frightening that is? If you think running non-stop now is hard, wait till your much older.

    Between my job, my Alzhiemer’s mother, and my autistic grandson, I am pushed to my limits. I have found that if I don’t sit quitely with God for a few minutes a day, I go crazy. As soon as I think I’ve got my day planned at work, I get a frantic phone call from the Alzhiemer’s Home – ‘your mom is having a bad time. Can you come?’ sigh

    God bless this woman for telling it like it is. I would love to know her.

  2. IfItSoundsTooGoodToBeTrue

    Tigger, thank you for sharing that. I can’t even imagine how difficult that is; my grandma has Alzhiemers as well, and that has been hard enough for me…can’t even imagine how hard it would be if it is a parent.

    The writer of this post resonated with me when she mentioned how talks with her SD seem so scheduled and businesslike….no sign of a friendship…and she also called her out on one of the biggest contradictions in the Mary Kay world: sales directors like to believe they are professional businesswomen who have only minimal time to schedule you in for calls and talks, and YET they very unprofessionally immerse themselves in such trivial concerns (such as how many squares did you color in on my monthly challenge sheet so you can earn a dollar store prize?????), all the while refusing to read the news, etc. Not at all concerned with what really matters or events that are affecting people on a larger level.This is such a glaring disconnect! Good job to this writer for pointing it out.

    I noticed early on in my MK experience that talks with my director were always so scripted and scheduled to a tee. I knew without a doubt she had been instructed, perhaps in her director training? lol, to keep her daily agenda and calls strictly scheduled to certain time frames so as to not lose on any income producing time, or whatever they call it. I know this because I could never have a natural conversation with her; as soon as we’d said hello and begun talking about something funny, or non-MK related, there was always like a set few minutes of chit chat and then she’d say something like, well enough about that, or ok well, let’s get started, cutting short whatever we were saying, as if I was a child whose ramblings needed to be reined in lol. It always annoyed me the over-inflated egos that run rampant in Mary Kay where SD’s think their time is SO valuable and has be be scheduled or even paid for, as in for special calls or trainings.

    1. MLM Radar

      As soon as someone becomes an SD she finds out that she is hanging from the edge of a cliff called “production quotas” and there are only three ways out:

      (1) Climb back up by persuading existing recruits to order enough.
      (2) Climb back up by recruiting new women and persuading them to place big first time orders.
      (3) Let go and fall. But she doesn’t want to do that because at the bottom are huge sharp boulders called debt. And every month she fails to meet that quota she has to add more debt boulders to the pile herself.

      If you’re not helping her reach that end-of-month “team production” (ordering) quota, that just-out-of-reach quota, she has no time to be your friend.

      She probably didn’t mean for things to be that way. But unless she can persuade you to place that order this month, she’s going to have to put buy the difference herself or lose everything she thinks she built.

    2. MLM Radar

      She would have no trouble reaching the quotas if there really was a market for the overpriced, crap-quality products she’s pushing.

      But there isn’t. Between all the other “home party” products other MLM-ers are pushing, people are utterly turned off by the whole system. No one wants to buy overpriced junk that comes with a recruiting pitch. Doesn’t matter what they’re selling. People know it’s a fraud, and they don’t want it.

      So what is she told to do? Sign up MORE women to sell to the handful of people who haven’t figured out the fraud.

      Yeah, we know how well that works.

    3. Tigger

      Hi IfItSounds;

      This is such a great article, I think I’ll print it for later use. Sometimes it’s hard to articulate the problems with mlms when someone asks, so I could just hand out this post.

      Thank you for your concern – I didn’t write it for pity, but to hammer home what life is really like for real people every day of their lives. There is no getting away from it. If young people feel ‘busy’ now, try to imagine that hamster wheel after 40 years. It’s tough when you are young in body and spirit; it is downright gureling after 50. Yes your kids will run you ragged, but so will an elderly Alheimer’s patient. Their needs are endless, and they won’t grow out of them. You fix their meals, change their diapers, and clean up after them all day. They drop their food and spill their cups, just like a child – but they are much bigger and heavier. It’s backbreaking. I did it as long as I could, but my elder-sitter got to where even she was struggling, so we had to find a home. Now, they just call me constantly. Part of life.

      I actually challenged upline on the ‘why can’t we ever just get together for a lighthearted chat and snacks’ concept, and you would have thought I’d cussed out God himself. She was increulous saying she didn’t have time. Every freaking phone call ended up with her mentoring me. I DON’T NEED TO BE MENTORED EVERY MINUTE. STOP IT. TALK TO ME LIKE AN ADULT!

      i see women who have put 20, 30 years or more into their chosen mlms and they still have mortages. They still drive old cars, etc. They aren’t free after all. very sad

  3. IfItSoundsTooGoodToBeTrue

    YES!!! it really is like you are being mentored every second. I don’t like being made to feel inferior, and I hate condescension, so that was another huge turn off for me. I know this has been mentioned often before on PT, but the whole idea of being an SD or NSD or whatever title, means NOTHING to anyone outside of the pretend business lol.

    MLM- good points, and absolutely true!!!

  4. Sapphire

    The thing I always hated, wheer it was on the phone or at an event, was that consultants were ALWAYS called out for several things =>
    1. Who did you call (to book a show, sell a product or to give recruiting info)?
    2. Who are you going to bring to the next meeting (to hear some information)?
    3. How much are you going to order for the next month to help the team?

    Not one word of – how are you? how is it going? do you need a friend?

    It’s all mercenary, monetary and notorious. But then, that’s the MK business for you. No Thanks! Next!

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