Written by Jersey McGoody
At first, I felt bad in a way, as if I’m “leading them on” to believe I’ll be a part of their team… but then I remember the “do unto others” thing… evidently they have no problem leading me on to believe that I can turn pennies into big bucks.
Super-Director wastes no time in contacting me… I didn’t get to the phone in time, and not even an hour later Marily texts me to check if I was able to “touch base” with her. (Geez, after this fiasco, I am so sick of hearing “touch base”… “let’s touch base” “we’ll touch base” “how about we touch base” … stop trying to touch my base!! LOL)
We finally get to talk, as I’m bouncing the now-teething baby on my lap to keep her from screaming, and she pretty much repeats all the same lines and the same questions…” any reason why you couldn’t..?”
I’ll tell you what, if nothing else, this has really taken a hit on my dignity, and I didn’t even sign up!! When you repeat your dire financial/life situation over and over to different people, it kinda feels like you’re digging your hole deeper and deeper.
I explain that I’ve had “parties” for various MLMs before — Premier Designs, Celebrating Home, etc… and that for each one I had an embarrassingly low turnout, meaning my mom and preteen sister, and my best friend from high school who has a hard time saying no to people she cares about. And I had invited my entire work office, which consists of over 20 women. I tell her that I’ve actually had a good handful of friends and acquaintances who have started businesses with a wide variety of MLMs and they were successful for the first 3 months or so, mostly with friends and family as clientele, then it just kind of flopped after that.
“Well, think about it… those companies, they sell products that you buy once and then that’s it, right? With Mary Kay products, after two or three months, you need to restock! And that’s when they come running back to you!”
She keeps slipping in the conversation that I should mention the “business opportunity” to a handful of my women friends as well (because evidently that takes priority over ensuring that a consultant has the proper training and knowledge of skincare and application techniques… in other words, nevermind if they have bad hygiene or can’t talk, just get ’em in, whoever they are!) and I mention, “Well wouldn’t that saturate the market and take away from my business? I mean, I don’t really want to engage in a bloodbath with 3 of my loyal friends to make a buck, ya know?”
She chuckles and clarifies that “Here’s the thing, you have your own circle of women that you know, and then each one of them has their own distinct circle of women, which probably only a few overlap, and then those women will reach out to their circle of women!” (And women! And women! And women! Uh-oh… is Hugh Hefner or Charlie Sheen in earshot?) “…and if they sign up under you, you’ll get a commission from them!”
“So they’ll have to pay me? And would I then have to pay anyone?”
“Nope! It all comes from the price of the product… once it gets sold, everybody in the upline gets a certain percentage check! Isn’t that cool?” (Yeah, sold from WHERE? The warehouse or the consultant’s car? Hmm…)
Now I apologize that I can’t remember a great deal more of specifics about our conversation, which lasted about 15 minutes or so, because I was trying to keep the baby from screaming into the phone. But towards the end, she tells me, “You have some really good questions!!” (Is that code for “wow, you’re really onto us and our scheme!”)
Shortly after that, I let her know that if I ever decide to, then I will let her or Marily or somebody know. “Well, we’re here for you if you ever decide to take this opportunity, have a good night!” Surprisingly not much pressure. Also no mention at all of what type of education or experience I would need to ensure I can truly HELP people with skin issues, color matching, product application, etc.
I think that’s what bugged me the most, the lack of “expertise,” just rehearsed scripts to sell. I noticed that when I asked Marily about my friend’s psoriasis, she uncomfortably tried avoiding the subject. And at the Monday meeeting too… no doubt the women were dressed “sharp,” but some of their makeup–no offense, but bright green and purple eyeshadows and angular-drawn red lips just don’t work for most people…
Later that night, Marily texts me to thank me for talking to her, and that I’m so sweet, blah blah. She mentions that she still has that gift for me, “you deserve it!!” and asks if she could drop it off at my office sometime this week. Ok, cool. Two weeks go by and she says she’s sorry that she never made it up there, she’s been having health issues, but she still has it.
Another few weeks go by, “Hi, I’m so sorry I’ve neglected you terribly. I’m thinking of you and your hubby. Are things better?”
“Nope, not really.” (Well, somewhat.)
“Well, how’s the eye makeup remover working for you?”
“Good.” (Decent enough, just like baby oil.)
“Yay! I’m in a challenge to treat 3 women to breakfast…and best part is, you’d get a $20 MK gift certificate! How’s Saturday?”
“I’m working.” (the truth)
“Oh, I figured that. Maybe some other time then! I could drop that gift off to you on Friday, ok?”
*a few weeks later*
“Well, time just got away from me again. Wanna come Monday night and I’ll make it up to you?”
“Not sure if I’ll be able to make it. If so, I’ll let you know.”
“By the way, I have an idea for a job for your husband… but it’s too much to text… give me a call and I’ll tell you all about it!”
(another MLM perhaps? just tell me the damn company name that’s hiring and he’ll go to their website and figure it out from there…it ain’t that complicated..)
“I’m really hoping you can show up Monday…we’ll have lottsa fun!!”
Ok, *IF* I can come, *THEN* *I* will let *YOU* know. Geez.
“Just let me know by noon if you can make it, so I can prepare!”
“We had so much fun last night, and were thinking of you!! Give me a call when you can!!”
…aaaaaaannndddd that was the last of it for now…she hasn’t tried to touch my base since this past May. Still no gift!! Although I still get generic mass-emails from her. Maybe she finally got the hint. Watch, tomorrow she’ll try again. Oy.