The Lie of “I’m Not Trying to Recruit You”

Written by The Scribbler

Recently, I was educated on the Mary Kay concept of the “Gold Medal.” Simply put, winning a Gold Medal means that one has recruited five women within a given month. There are lesser metals assigned for lesser numbers: a silver medal for recruiting four women, a bronze for three.

Just so we’re clear as to the intent of this training document/script, its title is “How to Win a Gold Medal!” If a consultant follows this document to the letter, she will recruit five women this month and perhaps receive something shiny worth a couple of bucks. Keep that in mind as you read and let’s begin!

Here’s a wonderful way to build your team and share with other women you meet! It’s the best way I’ve seen…. it works… it gets results! I tell her, “I am in a challenge to share company information with 10 women this week. Just for listening, you would be helping me reach my goal. Now I know that Mary Kay is something that you probably would never consider and that’s OK. I’m not trying to recruit you. (smile) I will just share information and let you make that informed decision after you’ve heard the facts. Will you help me?” (smile and HUSH!) They always say yes, because this is exactly how I finished my DIQ!”

Nothing like a lie right out of the gate: “I’m not trying to recruit you (smile); I will just share information.” There is nothing cute or funny about this behavior in the least; this is the scripted equivalent of a python wrapping its coils around a rabbit and hissing, “I’m not going to s-s-smother you, I’m just going to give you a little s-s-snuggle!”

Also of interest is the wording meant to reassure the target that the information she will receive is as solid as a brick outhouse: the decision she will make is “informed” after she’s heard the “facts.” What isn’t told is that the target will only receive facts which present the company in a pleasing light. The target certainly will not be hearing anything about co-payments on “free” cars, large inventory “investments,” or constant pressure that will be applied to recruit and purchase more products.

At the interview, the FIRST thing I do is ask questions about her and her life/family. I don’t immediately use “x-x-x” about the company. I let her know that SHE is my interest today and would never want her to feel that I am there to “recruit” her.

Stop right there. The recruiter isn’t asking her target questions about life and family for nothing. She is doing it to gather information and to nail down a possible “hot button,” which will enable her to tailor her script to the target’s dreams/needs. Quite simply, she’s going to tell that target exactly what she needs to hear.

But, “I would never want her to feel I am there to recruit her!” Friends, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck! Regardless of how badly this recruiter doesn’t want her target to feel like a target, that is precisely why they are seated in a Panera booth, sipping coffee, leafing through glossy MK brochures, and guiltily nibbling away at something fried. It’s about the gold!

I also ask what they are making at their current JOB. I explain that it is a personal question, I know – but I would like to show them how Mary Kay could make her money faster and with a lot less stress. They always provide me with bring home pay info and I compare hour-to-hour.

Ladies, if you’ve ever wanted justification for asking to see a director’s Schedule C, your day has come. If a recruiter asks you what you’re making, it is only fair for her to divulge what she’s bringing in after expenses. Personally, I’d be curious to see how the recruiter would spin the “a lot less stress” part, especially around the end of the month when directors are dialing for dollars.

I explain that realistically, they would not work Mary Kay 8 hours straight every day because they DON”T HAVE TO!!!!! YEAH! I just compare money-to-money/hour-to-hour/stress level-to-stress level and “at-home” time with their family. The difference is usually HUGE and so they see why Mary Kay could be great for them. After all-they just came to listen-right?????? HA!

The mocking “HA!” at paragraph’s end adds just the right touch of go-giveness, wouldn’t you agree??????

Let’s finish up by reviewing how Mary Kay would prefer to have its recruiters forget that a Personal Use option even exists:

If there is talk about inventory, NEVER mention a $225 order at all. Sometimes we talk about “personal use” and then “getting active with a $225 order,” DO NOT DO IT!!!!! Inventory is just a personal decision as to what she plans to do with her personal business. I tell her that is not pressure; I am just informing her about ALL that she can get for FREE her on her initial order. I used to be terrified of opening my mouth about inventory, for fear of being pushy or having them think that I was after their money, then I grew up and became a businesswoman and realized that through Mary Kay I am offering a lifestyle change and the decision is up to them. NOT ME!

Doesn’t this section sound as if the recruiter is trying to overcome any objections she herself might be having? “It’s not pressure; I am only informing her…” “I was afraid that they’d think I was after their money, but then I grew up…” and “The decision is up to them, NOT ME!”

Is it? Even if the target’s decision meant being personal use? By withholding that choice from her, the recruiter is affecting the target’s decision, thereby making it the recruiter’s. Personal use consultants are seen as a bother, as something that doesn’t get a unit to the next level. They don’t want to dedicate themselves, they just want a good deal. That’s not what is wanted by sales directors and NSDs.

There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting success in Mary Kay. The danger comes when one is willing to compromise one’s ethics in order to acquire a shot at that success. Are the diamonds, the cars, and the commission checks worth the steady stream of half-truths, gentle embellishments, and lies of omission one needs to tell in order to keep the “yes” answers coming?

Don’t make that compromise, friend; it is too high a price and trust me, you’re worth much more than that.


  1. Disgusting manipulators.

    “Ladies, if you’ve ever wanted justification for asking to see a director’s Schedule C, your day has come. If a recruiter asks you what you’re making, it is only fair for her to divulge what she’s bringing in after expenses.” —

    Yes. And have them break down how much is non-affiliate retail profit, and how much is recruiting commission. It matters. Then ask if she will make money of off you if she recruits you, and how much? Ask if she makes more money OFF OF YOU if you buy a bigger package?

    “There’s nothing wrong with a woman wanting success in Mary Kay.” —

    I believe there is. No one should ever desire to be a successful MLMer. Why? There is only ONE way to “succeed” in MLM. See quote below:

    “The danger comes when one is willing to compromise one’s ethics in order to acquire a shot at that success.” —

    That’s the ONLY way, and there is plenty wrong with that. If you don’t do it, you will “fail” at being a successful scammer aka successful MLMing Mary Kay consultant.

  2. I am so very fortunate (lol). Mary Kay Inc sent me their new catalogue today containing info regarding all the cheap pieces of overpriced garbage that I can buy for the holidays!

  3. So pretend to be interested in her life so that later you can weaponize that information against her when she tries to say no. Gotcha, gotcha, cool cool cool cool cool cool.

  4. Fantastically written, Scribbler!

    The consuant’s line about “personal use” made me roll my eyes, because what I’ve seen (or heard) happen many, many times is women start Mary Kay thinking they’re gonna make $$$$. When that doesn’t happen, they give up. But they’ve been mislead to think Mary Kay is great, 50% off is great (it really isn’t when taxes & shipping are considered), and they go “personal use” instead, which further saturates the market.

  5. As much as I hate the outright recruiting interviews, I really loathe the “practice interview”. It’s so underhanded to pretend the mark is helping with skill-building and earning a free lipgloss.

    My serial MLM friend was in Primerica and begged me to let her upline demo an interview with me. I was very clear that I was helping her practice and would not be damaging our friendship by bringing insurance into our relationship. I gave 0 real financial information, refused to book a follow-up, and you should have seen the shock and frustration on the upline’s face. I told you at the start! What made you think I would decide to buy or sell insurance based on an extended role-play over coffee? Sadly, that same friend has tried Jockey At Home, Sunset Gourmet, Arbonne, Norwex, and some MLM that dealt in maxi pads & diapers. Not to mention the number of parties she’s held (and bought from) for multiple MLMs. She has “helped” so many people by spending or signing up, I can’t even imagine the cash she’s wasted.

  6. “It’s not pressure; I am only informing her…”
    Way to put perfume on a pig. 🙄 What a con.

    I have never been accosted by a Kaybot. Maybe I’m not “sharp” enough…oh well; that’s neither here nor there. Just ONCE, I’d love to be a target, just so I would have the opportunity to ask the questions they don’t want to answer (“your most recent schedule C,” et al) and to rebut their assorted ridiculous claims.

Comments are closed.

Related Posts