“Warm Chat” Hurts People

This story was sent in by one of our readers. She was “warm chatted” by a Mary Kay consultant, and was very hurt when she figured out it was all a recruiting tactic…

I am a mom of a 10-month-old boy, he’s the light of my life. Since I had him I have joined in a few activities for new moms in my neighborhood but haven’t found a lot of other moms I “clicked” with. Most of my existing friends don’t have kids yet, and I would really like to meet some moms to hang out with and have playgroups with as my kiddo grows up.

I love my friends that don’t have kids and hang out with them when I can, but those with kids know that your life changes completely, priorities change and when you no longer have all day to get pedicures, lunch and go shopping it’s hard sometimes to keep up with what’s going on with your friends who do have that kind of time. I would really like to make friends with moms who have the same values I do about what to teach kids, and so far it’s been difficult to find that in my area, although I keep looking.

The other day I was at the doctor’s office, tapping on my phone when a very nice-looking woman, about my age, asked me a question about it. We got to talking and she seemed so nice. She said she had two kids, a 3-year-old and a little boy just about my son’s age! We talked about toys, schools, etc. and it seemed like her priorities were really in line with mine. I started to get excited about the possibility of meeting a new “mom friend” I could really relate to. We talked developmental milestones, challenges etc. for about 15 minutes and I was getting ready to give her my card and suggest getting together for a playdate.

(I’m sure some of you know where this is going…)

Then, out of the blue, she says “Wow, you have really nice skin. I would love to do a facial for you sometime. Have you heard of Mary Kay? Do you have a Mary Kay consultant?”

I was totally let down. I stammered out something about trying the products a few years ago and feeling like they didn’t work for my skin (which is the truth).

She keeps at it. “Oh, the product line is different now and I am sure we could find something you would just love! And I would love to talk to you about becoming a Mary Kay consultant, it allows me to have so much more time with my kids,” (always a hot button with me as I work out of the house four days a week and have a fair amount of guilt about it, but my job provides our health insurance) blah blah blah.

This is probably silly, but I was really disappointed. I had thought I was making a new friend and it turns out I was being “warm chatted.” All I was to her was a mark, not another mom who she might have something in common with. I then tried to cut off the conversation but she kept going until I got called back to see the doctor.

I let her give me a card and I almost considered calling her, figuring that well, maybe if I did do a facial we could talk more and get to be friends. Then a friend of mine who is an ex-Mary Kay consultant told me absolutely not to call her, pointed me towards this site so I could find out why, and I am glad she did. I read about how MK salespeople find new “prospects” and realized that all the woman in the doctor’s office was doing was trying to suck me into this whole racket. My ex-consultant friend said the woman I was talking to may not even have a kid my son’s age, but made that up to get farther into the conversation before trying to hook me.

The more I read about MK the more disgusted I get. I wanted to share this side of the story – MK doesn’t just hurt feelings when you’re a consultant, it hurts the feelings of the people consultants “warm chatter” who feel duped and dumped when we find out the compliment, friendly conversation, etc. was all part of the sales pitch. I would have had so much more respect for the woman if she had come out and said “I sell Mary Kay, are you interested?” Because then I could have just said no. As it was I got my hopes up and wasted time talking to someone who had no interest in me unless I was going to buy her products or sign up as a consultant.

Thanks to all of you on this board who are out there speaking the truth, I hope more people will listen to it.


  1. I had a similar experience when my first child was a toddler. The stay at home wife of an junior executive at my husband’s company suddenly became very friendly and invited me to a play date at a nearby park. I was flattered by the attention and thought this could be a new friend plus maybe a social “leg up” for my husband.

    The play date was wonderful and she seemed genuinely interested in becoming friends … until she started her Mary Kay spiel. I repeatedly said “no” politely but firmly. After that day I never heard from her again.

  2. “And I would love to talk to you about becoming a Mary Kay consultant, it allows me to have so much more time with my kids” —

    A big part of the MLM con job is for the perpetrator to make it sound like it’s a benefit to you. “I have an opportunity for you”, “You’d be really good at what I do.”, etc., etc.. It should be obvious it’s not, but MLM has perfected the spiel and made it so convincing. Try this:

    Imagine you listen to the recruiter and take up a lot of her time, and then you say, “Thanks so much for all the information; I’m interested.” But then you drop the bomb that you will be calling your cousin to sign up. Watch her face drop. Why? It was about HER making a commission, off you.

    This is MLM. And, they want you to target your friends and family first (disgusting), but of course everyone is always a mark. If you’re an MLMer, at least truly know who and what you are. Admit it, it’s about you. Every time you speak about the “opportunity” for someone else, you’re lying through your teeth – whether you realize it or not.

    The majority of upline commission comes from downline’s pockets. “Pay to play”, but you’re not allowed to advertise that. Nay and Tracy pointed this out yesterday:

    “If companies pay to recruit, then they’re legally deemed a pyramid scheme. They get around the rules by not technically paying for recruiting, and technically paying for product orders.”

    One reason MLMers are scammers is because you must lie about the “opportunity”. Mary Kay is an MLM company. If you are a consultant, you’re an MLMer.

    Regardless of whether you’re a proud scammer, a successful scammer, or a failed scammer, I hope PT has provided you with an education about MLM. And bonus, all for free! None of us want to make a commission off sharing our knowledge with you.

    P.S. Be warned of MLM “coaches” who charge, for they just want your money. It’s either an MLM coaching scam, or the coach is personally teaching you how to scam. Both bad.

    • “Nay and Tracy pointed this out yesterday:…”

      True story: reading along, I got to this line and stopped short, trying to figure out who this “Nay” person was. (Forehead smack) “Oh, that’s me!”

    • I was chatting with a neighbor, and he mentioned he was a landscaper. “Really?” I said, “because I need some…”

      He politely cut me off. “No,” he said, “I want my neighbors to be my neighbors, not my customers.”

      And I immediately saw that he was right. I hadn’t thought of it before, but he was right.

    • I was wondering that myself. I studied the photo for like fifteen minutes. Is it a spoon? An eyelash curler?

      • Former MK Pink Cadillac SD Michelle Cunningham used her children in her MK videos. The kids were adorable, but I believe she was forced to stop including them.

  3. I came across a yelp page and there were many entries about kaybots trying to warm chat people in Chicago. And, no, the entries were not favorable for MK.

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