Recruiting Another Consultant’s Customer

direct-selling-pyramid-schemeWe’ve heard these things before. A million and one ways to justify recruiting another Mary Kay consultant’s customer. Is it technically stealing? Probably not. After all, the NSDs will teach you how to bend the rules far enough that you can still say you played by the rules.

This one comes from an NSD who gives you lots of reasons why someone else’s customer isn’t really their customer. She helps you justify stealing that customer for your own selling and recruiting. What does she care, as long as you get another recruit for her area?

Recruiting Ethics

Reputation: Our reputation as a Company has made all of the difference in the tremendous success that we are enjoying. The reputation of our product, corporate staff, consultants and directors speaks louder than any words of advertisement. We are incredibly grateful to Mary Kay Ash for creating a company with the founding principles based on the concept of the Golden Rule and implementation of the much-noted Go Give Spirit. We are associated with and belong to a company that not only excels in the cosmetic industry, but we are known far and wide for our integrity and our unique Leadership style.

Taking a position of integrity is challenging. It is not the easy road. It is not the road of least resistance. It is a decision that we make, realizing that no matter what we feel we are losing at the moment, we will ultimately gain, packed down, spilling over in abundance and wealth. The wealth of having a clear conscience, the pride of knowing there will be no question in how situations have been handled and the esteem that comes from walking in a quality of life that is free from the need to manipulate or sway others to your side.

Women of Integrity attract mentally healthy and ambitious people. People will run to you because of your reputation and all that you are. It is always evident. Not that your heart won’t be challenged and not that you will feel that the wrong person got the girl or the reward at times. It is understanding that the Lord has a plan that is greater than the situation that we see in front of us. When things don’t go the way we think they should perhaps we are being protected.

I have learned to trust the process and lead others with an open hand. To weigh the power of my words and continually monitor my motivation to ensure it is not of a self-serving reason but another’s serving benefit. It is in fact a huge responsibility. But one that I am up for, and one that our Area stands for. The woman of good repute is listened to, and her opinions weigh heavy. A woman who lacks integrity can shout from the rooftops and not be heard.

Definition of an Exclusive customer:

An Exclusive customer is someone who the consultant has personally met with and has physically facialed. There are times when a consultant will collect customers through referrals or by inheriting an inactive consultant’s customer list. For example, we may provide product to an acquaintance at church who does not have a consultant and needs some items. These connections would not classify these women as exclusive customer. In order to add those women to her exclusive customer list, the consultant would need to meet with each individual, facial her or share a new look (i.e. person to person contact.)

It is essential to send an out-of-town potential customer some product samples. Once you have followed up and your new customer has placed her first order with you, it would be important for you to explain to her the benefits of an exclusive customer relationship. You will place her on your PCP and will be in touch with her concerning new products and updates. You desire to provide for her the very best of service. You would also like to send her some information on the company and would invite her to log on to our Mary web site. If at any point she would become interested in becoming a consultant you would like for her to join your team. Location makes no difference in Mary Kay. You would be able to lead her and service her regardless of how far she lives from you.

There will be customers that you collect and place on your PCP. However, they would not be defined as an Exclusive Customer. If someone else approaches them and tries to recruit them, they are open market. However, if you have developed a relationship, they will probably not want to be recruited by anyone else. If you have interviewed them and they are not ‘ready’ yet … tell them when they are would they please call/contact you? I would go so far as to say, let me tell you how this may happen … you go to a class as a favor to a friend or a co-worker or friend, neighbor or church friend joins Mary Kay … and the new excited consultant starts talking about the MK opportunity or her experiences or her goals (becoming a director/earning a Mary Kay car), it may re-excite you, and you will be ‘ready’. When she approaches you, just say “I do have a consultant and I promised her if I EVER decided to do Mary Kay, I would have her be my recruiter”. YOU MUST explain these scenarios to your clients!

When are they not your customer?

  • Third person purchasing. When you are providing product to an Aunt who passes it on to her niece. The niece is not your customer, unless you have met with her and facialed her.
  • When you are sending product to the office with your husband to distribute to other employees. Those employees are not your exclusive customers.
  • Women you have facialed, but do not start with the skin care. When someone has attended one of your skin care classes, purchased a glamour item and you have not followed up to utilize her as a model or a hostess, she is not an exclusive customer.

Recruiting 1, 2, 3’s

  1. Upon sharing the marketing plan with a potential recruit. It is the director’s, or recruiter’s responsibility to research any prior use of the products. It is necessary to ask specific questions. “Jane are you currently using our MK line of products?” If so what products? Sometimes people say that they are using Mary Kay, when in reality it is a lip gloss that they got as a birthday gift or purchased at their place of employment when a MK consultant was running a promotion.
  2. Inquire as to how the long she has been using the product. Or how long it has been since she was using our product.
  3. Ask if she has ever been presented with the Mary Kay facts. Has anyone asked her to listen to a tape, attended a meeting or a Mary Kay guest event? Ask her for her consultant’s name. If she does not know the name, ask further questions. What have you used? Where was the event that you attended? Did you meet her director when you were there? At that point in time it is necessary to explain that we have a very unique and special company. A company that believes in the loyalty of the customer/consultant relationship. So, Jane it would be very important for you to be recruited into the company by the consultant who has been servicing you with product. We can go ahead and get you started today. I will contact (said director/consultant) for you. There is nothing more exciting than to call another director and say…congratulations!!! You have a brand new consultant!
  4. If the consultant says, “I do not want to be recruited by my current consultant. I think she is pushy. Your response,” You know what Sally, you are going to be a wonderful consultant, and this opportunity is going to be such a blessing to you, I know Mary and she is a very successful, fabulous consultant. She will take very good care of you. Now would you like to place a Visa number on here or write a check?” Please understand that you are in a strong position of influence at this moment. It is your response that will make all of the difference in this Go Give situation. Saying someone is pushy is an easy, smoke screen excuse. To lead another person in doing what is right, you must gloss over any smoke screens, compliment the consultant/director, and the new prospect will do what you suggest. If you give her any options at this point, you will only cause confusion. When you examine any reasoning for giving an option at this point, you will discover that you are opening a door that would lead her to want to be recruited by you. That would be using your influence in a self-servicing manner.
  5. What if they persist? “I will not become a consultant if I have to be recruited by my current consultant. I don’t understand. Are you telling me that I don’t have any say in who I am going to work with?” Now first and foremost,these kinds of statements would only come from a savvier customer. Perhaps, someone who has been in the company before and understands that there are different Units and different Areas. Keep in mind that most new consultants do not understand the process. Especially when their recruiter is out of town and they want to be recruited by someone local, feeling that the local situation would be more beneficial. When understanding that concept, it would be most important for you to explain that she will be adopted into your unit and you will be supporting her, training her and welcoming her into your meetings. Assuring her that the MK Go Give Philosophy is what we live by and you will take very good care of her.
  6. If she is adamant then the next step is her responsibility. You need to step back. She must be willing to call her consultant and explain that she wants to be recruited by Ann. She can explain her reasons why and the resolution must be made between the two of them. Your involvement would only complicate the situation and could make you seem controlling. If she will not call her consultant and rectify, then you can not recruit her. Recruiting her at this point would put you in a very damaging position. You would continually be defending your actions and your reputation would be tarnished.

Recruiting Mentality:

Rule #1 Customers will tell you what they think you want to hear. Most discrepancies occur from miscommunication. Often times the customer will only provide pieces of the picture.

Rule #2 Some recruiters do not ask whether a prospect has a consultant or not. Some recruiters believe that if the prospect has not been presented with the marketing plan or been taken to a guest event she is available to be recruited by anyone.

Rule #3 The Holman Area directors seek to understand before it is important to BE understood. We in the Holman Area handle situations differently than some other areas on both ends of the process. Taking the high road is not a choice; it is an absolute. Handling each and every situation with graciousness, understanding and compassion is what we are known for.

Warning signs:

When you find yourself getting defensive, angry or hurt … If your judgment is becoming confused or clouded, seek counsel. However, as your National Sales Director I can only give you wise council based on the information that you share with me. Please be as accurate as possible, because I will be backing you 100%. And my reputation for accuracy is on the line also.

Handling recruiting scenarios has everything to do with abundance mentality. It comes down to the “Little girl syndrome” When we try to control and hold on to things and people too closely, like yelling MINE and grabbing your toy doll back from the other little girl who is playing with it. You are operating out of scarcity mentality. A fear of losing something that is yours. A fear that someone is taking advantage of you or taking something from you that is rightfully yours.

That is when we switch our thought process from who is right to what is right. Small people focus on their RIGHTS, Big Thinkers focus on RESPONSIBILITIES. It is our responsibility as Holman directors to handle each and every situation as the class act that you are.

What is not emotional maturity:

  1. Accusing. If someone has accidentally or purposefully recruited one of your customers. There is not ever a time that you should accuse or place blame. Watch your words. If you are angry…wait until you calm down or seek counsel before you place a phone call to another director. Phone messages or conversations should be presented from the: Hi Sally, this is Joanne Holman. Sally, I am calling because I have a question regarding a recruiting scenario. I am certain it is just a misunderstanding or a miscommunication. I would like to chat about it. I can be reached at ______. I will look forward to talking with you. Thanks Sally.
  2. Proceeding out of protocol. Nationals call sister Nationals, Directors speak to the other Director. Nationals should not ever call the Director in the situation unless she has permission from the director’s National. If the director is in the Go- Give area, the National should call her Executive Senior if she has one. Likewise, Directors should not communicate with consultants in another unit. Communication should be exchanged through the directors.
  3. Sending nasty emails. Remember that messages left on phones and emails are testimony to your professionalism. They will be passed on. Also, the flavor of an email can be easily misread. The sound of your voice can rectify many a misunderstanding.


Mother/daughter, Sister/sister, Sister in-laws/Mother in-laws and Aunts/nieces. Cousins always add an interesting element. If a relative is already a consultant, there should be absolutely no question. They will go with the relative. It doesn’t matter why the relative is in Mary Kay. If she is an active consultant, the new consultant will be recruited and directed to the relative.

If there is a rift in the relative relationship, it must be resolved between them. You cannot get involved. I have discovered that in family situations there are more people to be considered than just the two individuals. Uncles, brothers, other family members can become hurt and disillusioned if not handled well.

Thank you for honoring our reputation!

What did you get out of that? RECRUIT AT ALL COSTS. Sure, you may have to do some fancy footwork or have someone actually end up as the “recruiter.” But the bottom line is that you must recruit anyone and everyone. It is for the sake of the area. Read: The NSD’s commission check.


  1. After reading MK’s first few paragraphs, my eyes began to glaze. I would be thinking, “I just want to buy a darn lipstick! I’ll be heading over to Macy’s cosmetic counter as soon as she stops blab-blab-blabbing.” I’ve heard less doubletalk when I went to buy a used car!

    • It would be better for everyone involved is these Mary Kay directors would just open a lemonade stand instead.

      Oh wait, they’d probably ruin that too.

  2. Kristen — oh yes, “facialed”

    MK Huns use this as a verb without a trace of irony.

  3. “It comes down to the ‘Little girl syndrome’ When we try to control and hold on to things and people too closely…You are operating out of scarcity mentality. A fear of losing something that is yours. A fear that someone is taking advantage of you or taking something from you that is rightfully yours.”

    In other words, ignore that inner voice telling you that spending $3000 on makeup is a terrible idea. Also, it is selfish of you to assume that anyone recruited under you should stay under you.

    Listening when your intuition tells you to be skeptical is now “Little Girl Syndrome.”


    • ‘Little girl syndrome’ and ‘scarcity mentality’ ????

      Seriously, who does this woman think she is? A doctor of psychology or counseling or therapy, or whatever field that would have a legit scenario in which to use those apparent “afflictions” in the same sentence?

      The word salad that Kaybots like this use are ridiculous.

  4. So often the Kaybots try to argue that their MK business is no different than a franchise, except so much cheaper! With any franchise, the franchisee is GUARANTEED a territory. This ridiculous, wordy explanation doesn’t apply. You own a McDonalds franchise in X zip code? (Or county, or whatever sized area)? It’s yours, and they won’t open other McD’s in your protected area. Oh, also, they won’t convince you to get your best customers to open up another McD next door to yours, ad infinitum.

    The above post also reinforces the fact that if you join MK to only SELL and not RECRUIT, too bad, because your customers (that you choose to not recruit) will just be recruited by someone else.

  5. How come when I Google “ Joanne Holman Mary Kay”, the first result is that she is an IBC? Was she an NSD and somehow is now an IBC?

  6. I’m seeing a lot of drumming on “mentally healthy”. That’s cool and all, but y’figure it’s acknowledging a pattern?

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