A Truthful Recruiting Pitch

If a Mary Kay recruiter was being truthful about the “opportunity,” this is what it might sound like.

Hi Perfect Stranger!

I have just bought into a huge Multi-Level Marketing (MLM) scheme and I would like to get in your space for a few moments to put some skin care and make up on you so that I can ultimately try to snare you into joining me in this ridiculous pursuit!

Really? You’d love to try some skin care? I’M SO EXCITED! Now, I can work on pushing all of your hot buttons!

Are you a Christian? Then I will push the company’s God first slogan!

Are you starved for attention? GREAT! I will push the company’s wonderful sisterhood of up and coming millionaires and flash you some cheap jewelry!

Do you want to stay at home with your children? I’M SO EXCITED! I can show you how this company will allow you to be on the phone, at a skin care class, at a weekly meeting, using social media, or any other really special activities that will draw you away from your children (please don’t bring them to any meetings, although we say that family is before career – children have no place in a professional beauty consultant’s world.)

Or, maybe you would like to earn a little extra money to help the family out with some bills? Oh boy! I will show you how to invest, invest, invest in your Mary Kay business… don’t worry about all the money it will pull from your family cause it will give commission to MINE!

Oh and if you are a little hesitant about investing in your very own business (which we will strongly advise you on how to run your business and how to dress for your business) we also offer our 90% buy-back guarantee!! That’s right – the company will re-purchase any inventory at 90% from you if you decide that this awesome opportunity is not for you, uhmm, by the way you will take the hit for the 10% and the company will brand you as a failure and a quitter. And you’ll never get back all the money you spent on supplies, meeting, postage, and other expenses.

Still with me, target prospect?

How about a great career involving a little known art called “warm chatter?” This aspect of our company will make you view each woman you come in contact with as either a prospective customer, hostess, or a recruit!! And the more recruits the higher I go… uhmm, I mean the higher you go!

So just plop down $100 plus tax and I’ll get you started and then we can talk about all the inventory you need to start stock-piling so that I can make more and more commissions and begin to drive “free” and move up on the little beehive known as Mary Kay, Inc.!


  1. To add…

    “I don’t have a chance to turn a consistent profit unless I recruit and keep about 250 people under me.. And the profits I get for my hours worked won’t exceed minimum wage until I have a giant, national down-line.

    I know that only one person in 250 can turn a profit at this, so I need you to be one of my losers so I can be a winner! Not to worry…you can always recruit a huge national downline of your own losers so you can be a winner too!”

  2. “Are you looking for a sisterhood that does life together?” “Perfect – this isn’t just a business, we’re also your family. We are family that you can buy into for only $100! You can also quit this family at anytime for $90 – but, you can never buy your way back in”

    Utter lunacy. This is all about money, call it a sisterhood/family, whatever, it’s a scheme to make folks spend money. MK corporate folks must be laughing in their mansions at how foolish all the smoke and mirrors are, AND that folks believe it!

  3. Love this! Another post that needs to be repeated often:) it’s so on the nose. Also, so many people get “hooked” on the recognition on stage at events; it’s like a drug. Then comes bankruptcy, divorce, etc., but this site is helping people avoid the pitfalls of being a part of an MLM.

  4. You have low self-esteem? Wonderful! Welcome to this snarky group of middle school mean girls who will constantly have you comparing your reality with their heavily filtered social media selves. All in the name of helping you achieve your full potential, of course. To help you grow, we’ll hammer you with loving messages of how your lack of success is all your fault, even though we know it’s baked into the system, and only a fraction of our downline will make any money at all. No one will make the money they aspire to earn, even though we’re all conspicuous in our name-brand purses to make you think we’re really successful. The elite in this company are masters at selling the sizzle, especially when there is no substance, often resulting in bankruptcies and divorces.

  5. CORRECTION: Children DO have a place in a professional beauty consultant’s world. You can post carefully posed pictures of them to your social media about how they are your REASON, not your EXCUSE. You can weasel your way into their school fundraisers, promising that the profits will go to the cause, but you don’t need to tell them that you get a desperately needed bump in sales.
    You can post pictures of them being photogenically ill, and say that your MLM lets you stay home and care for them.

    And, of course, you can give their teachers expired products for teacher appreciation day.

Comments are closed.

Related Posts