Finding Your Identity After Mary Kay

Written by Raisinberry

Stepping out of Mary Kay for good, is freedom. And that is as it should be. It is a step toward becoming “real” again, where you have no duplicitous purpose in your relationships. You were never supposed to be in bondage to an idea, a group, a philosophy. By using your greatest needs against you, you were taken in and held captive by a desire for significance… something you already possess.

The cult devices of, love bombing, isolation, conformity, repetitious doctrine, exclusivity, manipulation, new relationships, mega activities and busy-ness so that critical thinking and reasoning are discouraged, become a pythons grip around you. The “positive mental attitude” code of conduct prevented you from ever finding out the level of fraud that exists in Mary Kay, and locked you deep in a game of denial and bondage.

But, what is true is, you have been set free by a power bigger than Mary Kay, bigger than declarations, bigger than man made governments. Your true identity is that of a child, a precious wonder! You are a joyful, open, giving, intelligent, trusting, loving gift to the planet, empowered by the God of your understanding, to walk a life’s journey learning and maturing and arriving precisely where you should be, exactly on time, perfectly equipped.

So while this tour of duty in Mary Kay was painful, abusive and dreadfully cultish, you did make some friends, you did learn to set goals, you did learn to get things done and get better organized. You got to do some traveling, you faced your demons. You won a few, and lost a few. You did grow as a person. If you are one of the lucky ones who didn’t ruin your finances, your recovery will be quicker than the rest. But you are smarter now. We are all smarter now.

Maybe now we will hold precious, this great gift of freedom… this clarity of thought to never again be blind sheep, following without scrutiny any charismatic presentation. Our personal identity shines because we each unique. We may have been easily tricked into preferring this “wealth and riches model” that gives us the illusion of control. We have been brought face to face with how easily we look the other way instead of stand for what is right.

We now see how self serving we can be by telling prospects and recruits and each other only what we want… only what benefits us at the moment and maintains the fraud of the pink bubble. Oh, we told ourselves we were honest. We were truly helping women. And we believed it. That was part of the con. We were conned, and as we were conned, we conned others. When we seek personal significance and control in our lives, using all manner of man made “wealth” producers, and compromise our identities, we are playing into a lie that opposes the truth of faith. We are trapped.

The Truth is, whether you know it or not, you have been bought with a price and that payment produced freedom. To walk away from a system that disguised itself as Godly, while manipulating us into bondage is a statement of recapturing your freedom and your real identity, while exposing the nature of evil. For those who love to find “backup” in ancient texts, this statement from Paul to Timothy is telling:

“Now devoutness with contentment is great capital; for nothing do we carry into the world and it is evident that neither can we carry anything out. Now having sustenance and shelter, with these we shall be sufficed. Now, those intending to be rich are falling into a trial and a trap and the many foolish and harmful desires which are swamping (wo)men in extermination and destruction. For a root of all of the evils is the fondness for money, which some, craving, were led astray from the faith and try themselves on all sides with much pain. Now you, O (wo)man of God, flee from these things: yet pursue righteousness, devoutness, faith, love, with endurance, suffering and meekness.”

What Mary Kay loves to call a “paycheck of the heart” coming in at $10,000 to $100,000 a month actually represents not thousands of dollars of goods sold, but thousands of dollars on the credit cards of consultants… either frontloaded or tempted into “free product bonuses”, or staying active, or getting a higher commission rate, or winning a prize having nothing to do with product restocking or representative of consultant profit. Can you even fathom a greater hypocrisy? Trapped into a voracious need to produce the same numbers, and maintain the same lifestyle, and denying all that we have revealed in our testimonies here on Pink Truth, the sales leadership of Mary Kay Cosmetics have lost all awareness of their true identities for the Fame and Fortune of being a Queen of Pyramids. In fact they have cast their identities away.

A “Godly” woman pursuing righteousness would never stand for it. She would never preside over a system that denies the tragic impact of plunging new hopeful believing women into financial and emotional bondage, just so she can go on living in the style to which she has become accustomed. And what is worse, massaging her own conscience, she will blame that very trusting soul for not working “hard enough” when the house of cards crumbles. So few consultants and Directors can actually sell this product consistently that for the vast majority, Mary Kay represents “pin money”… not at all “executive level income”. A tiny fraction sit high atop the Pyramid looking down upon the would be “slaves” baiting them to earn the right to be “in their space” as if they themselves held the key to freedom.

They do not. Quite the opposite. Your freedom is in your identity. Your REAL identity. You are a child of GOD, and that is a truth that NO ONE can take away from you, even if you think you let them. I urge us all to recapture what is ours and embrace the truth that our significance has been established by GOD’s decree and no amount of stalking, frontloading or career path climbing will call out any more “excellence” than we already possess. In fact, to walk away from this abusive scheme in courage and faith is a greater statement of excellence.

4 COMMENTS

  1. So well said Raisinberry! And to be sure to put light between MLM and true business…

    Seeking significance and relevance is normal and healthy. What MLMs like Mary Kay offer is significance over others, at the expense of others. This is unhealthy. A true business owner can lift all involved at the expense only of the free will participation of outside customers. Everyone wins.

    Imagine a team of 100 working for you where everyone is making positive money and not a single team member has to buy a single product from your company for the company to thrive. This is how real companies operate.

    Not so in MLMs like Mary Kay. Without the purchases made by the internal sales force, the MLM company would collapse. In other words, the significance and relevance obtained in MLM is not sourced by the free will engagement of outside customers. Rather, it is obtained primarily by the financial and emotional manipulation of the folks inside the MLM.

    A truly honest MLM recruiting message would be, “Come join my team so I can take advantage of you!”

    Sick. And. Wrong.

  2. Thank you for this kind and empowering take. When you’re trapped in a Bad Situation, your sense of self is gradually ablated in order to conform with the limitations imposed by that Situation. Once you’re out, therefore, you feel unsure of yourself and wonder if you’ve made the right decision. Framing it as “purchasing your freedom through your bravery” is so much better – it shows you as a smart, capable person who deserves respect, ESPECIALLY FROM YOURSELF. And that will go a long way towards keeping strong through the fallout.

    • An excellent expose. This definitely describes the NSDs and their directors. It’s so accurate.
      Raisinberry, you have the gift of giving clarity to a murky situation.

  3. To quote you, why accept crumbs when God prepared for you a feast?

    The conviction was real and deep and I couldn’t sleep. I had no option but to leave in obedience. And life is great.

    By your fruits you will know them.

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