A Family’s Finances Destroyed by Mary Kay
We have had a number of husbands of Mary Kay consultants and directors participate in the discussion here after being deceived by their wives. There has been financial damage, as well as emotional damage. Here is another.
My wife has been in Mary Kay for 4 years. In that time she has lost over $30,000. I had to remortgage the house to keep her from going bankrupt, but still she’s back at it. Her credit is going to max again in the next few months. This time I will lose the house. I have a good job, but she’s losing it faster than I can make it.
Every MK event I went to was the same, the few husbands that went were all safely muzzled. We all talked about things unrelated till our wives where out of earshot.
Then we’d ask the question, so how are things going for your wife? Then comes the pre-programmed response “she’s holding lots of classes” or “She’s on track for emerald” or “she’s really growing as a person.”
But in that brief moment of eye contact we all know we are liars, in that moment of truth we can all read between the lines. What we really said was “she’s not selling anything” or “she’s buying her way to the top” or “she’s warm stalking everyone we know or meet.”
After that we are pretty quiet, basking in the shared misery and shame of our lies and loss. We tend to not go very often. We collectively despise ourselves.
None of us are in the fog, but we are completely unable to help the one who sleeps beside us even see that there is a fog.
Visit the
Ugh, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Please try to get some financial counseling for yourself to see what steps you can take to protect your own credit (and any minor children) so she can’t apply for cards or loans in your name. Try to divert some money into an account in your name only so you have something to fall back on.
And damn MLM to hell and back for selling dreams and delivering nightmares instead 🤬
What are the statistics of divorce in Mary Kay or any MLM for that matter? There must be a lot. Consultants are trained to stay away from negativity, that includes husbands who question their spending. This man’s story is not a one off. What a sad situation. I hope he can somehow salvage not losing his home. I also believe these men need to speak up. I know they must love their wives and don’t want to risk hurting their feelings or losing them but until one or all of them start telling the truth things will never change. Husbands who perpetuate the lie further proves that MLM is a failed industry.
Sadly, there is little that can be done for folks in the fog. For some reason when I was on my late 20s and my 30s, I was targeted by MLMers all the time. I tried using my nerdly business workflow analysis and systems modeling skills to show these folks the dangers and futility of their MLM. All of my data and numbers came directly from the MLM in question, and showed in plain, simple numbers what would be required of the rep to achieve their financial goals. These very real numbers appeared almost comical…which may be why they could not accept them.
Alas, they all pegged me as being under some sort of demonic or other “un-American” influence. One guy, a Quixtar rep, looked deep into my eyes, with near tears welling up in his, and said, “You poor man. I will pray for you.” He was seriously more worried about me than his own financial ruin. He was convinced I was the crazy one!
I created forecasting models for lots of MLMs over the years, but I was never able to convince a single rep, in the moment, of the dangers that lie ahead. The Quixtar guy actually reached out to me 5 years later and admitted I was right after all. He was the only one after decades of effort on my part.
This level of loyalty demonstrates just how cult-like these MLMs really are. No amount of hard data will sway them. Arguing with an MLMer can’t work. Shedding light on the unhealthy patterns, over and over, creates a chink in the armor. This is why I think PT has been able to help so many find their way out of the fog. Slow, steady reminders of the sick MLM underbelly eventually resonates with the lived experiences of the participants, and they start to recognize the patterns.
A die hard MLMer has to decide for themselves to get out. No one can convince them from the outside. The biggest tool a loving husband may have is to limit access to money. And even that can lead to relationship trouble, for which he will be pegged as the bad guy. An accurate business ledger, introduced properly, may be the only best hope. Let the ledger be the bad guy!
I feel for the spouses of folks who get sucked into MLM. There is no easy way out.
Quixtar = Amway. Amway is the WORST.
The OG of MLM
There was a lengthy post a long here a long time ago that said part of why it’s so hard to argue with MLMers is they WANT it to be true so badly. There’s also the random, intermittent reinforcement where they sometimes succeed: they sold or recruited *just* enough to think their big break is just around the corner.
A lot like how slot machines make you think the jackpot is coming soon.
“These very real numbers appeared almost comical…which may be why they could not accept them.” I think this is very true, also.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. This shows why the “husband unawareness plan” (don’t talk to your husband about Mary Kay purchases) that the MK upline promote is destructive and disgusting.
Your wife is an addict, no different than an alcoholic, a drug addict, a shopping addict, or a gambling addict. Do what you need to do to sequester your finances, get your own bank account that she does not have access to and have your paycheck diverted there. Check your credit reports, check your children’s credit reports, get all of your credit frozen (can do that through the three agencies).
Contact a financial advisor and contact shopaholics anonymous or gamblers anonymous for more advice on how to protect yourself against someone who is out of control and committing financial abuse and financial betrayal. You may need to contact a lawyer for bankruptcy and/or divorce.
Best of luck.
You tell him BP! She is an addict, no different than a shopper, or gambler.
Time for an intervention.
Who can he recruit? Her mother/dad/siblings/neighbors? $30K is alot of $ to lose in a young family’s life.
I can only echo what has already been said: freeze your credit, review your credit reports and those of your children (if you have them), set up separate accounts, and contact an attorney. You may also want to consider contacting your mortgage company and letting them know there are some financial issues in the household. Work with them to prevent foreclosure. You might be surprised at what they can do to help you.
I’m sorry to read this, and you aren’t alone. BP mentioned reaching out to Gamblers Anonymous or Shopaholics Anonymous, which is an excellent idea. They have resources to help you and your family.
$30,000 may be the number at the moment but ultimately with interest and likely late fees etc…and the incalculable costs to the consultant, husband, kids, pets, social life, other family life, work life for anyone she encroaches on.
The husband doesn’t need an intervention if that’s not possible, he just needs to tell her the new financial facts of his own bank account, any payment options he puts into place to ensure the lights stay on, etc. She can fight and argue all she wants but mainly he needs to make sure she is blocked from access.
rot in hell mary kay ash.
It’s real easy to blow all your money when you have a backup plan or someone that’s going to pick up your slack (boyfriend/husband) if she was alone she wouldn’t be so quick to do this by the way.
Exactly. Husband needs to treat this like an intervention. No more money, no enabling, she gets professional help to control her addiction immediately or she’s out the door. If she hits rock bottom it’s on her. If there’s a divorce he needs to sue for full custody.
“I have a good job, but she’s losing it faster than I can make it.”
What you can do immediately – STOP THE BLEEDING! Move your money! Yank that financial safety net out from under Mary Kay addiction. What this does, brutal though it may be, puts her Mary Kay expenses 100% on HER ability to make money with Mary Kay sales or from her job. After 4 years, her business should be self-supporting.
Also, in many states, it means her future debts are HERS because you have no commingled assets. Check with a lawyer, but you may be able to limit your liability.
https://legalknowledgebase.com/can-they-come-after-me-for-my-spouses-debt
FIRST: Run a credit report to see how many credit cards and loans are out there with your name on them. Look at your checking account to see where payments have gone. Those are your targets.
1 – New bank account, at a DIFFERENT BANK with direct deposit from your employer. Shift the critical bills to be paid from there. Remove your name from the previous account.
2 – Raid any joint savings or checking accounts. Yes, strip them bare for you and your kids (if any) or leave a $100 or so. To avoid commingling, use these accounts to pay the utilities, even paying them advance, but don’t move money to your personal account. (money trail must be clean)
3 – Cancel all joint credit and debit cards that you can, remove your names from them if you can’t cancel them. Get new ones in YOUR name only from your new bank and keep them in a SAFE PLACE. Yes, she will try to use them, and if she has the physical card, she has the 3-digit check sum.
4 – LOCK your credit and the credit of any minor children. Advise non-minor relatives to run credit checks, just say you think they may have been victims of ID theft.
5 – Cancel ALL streaming and online shopping accounts (especially get out of Uber Eats and Door Dash) that you can. Close the online shopping accounts or leave the payment method on the old money-less account. You can always pay via PayPal or as a guest.
6 – Cancel all your online money apps such as Venmo – get them off your phone. Get your banking app off your phone or at least put your phone onto a very short lockdown timer and change your passwords. (Yes, she is likely to try to get into your account from your phone).
7 – For now, do the grocery shopping to avoid the temptation of cash back embezzling.
8 – If you have a joint e-mail account, get an account of your own to prevent hijacking e-mail verification. Change the passwords of every account you have
Then tell your wife that you have taken the necessary steps to keep a roof over your head and the lights on by removing her ability to divert money from the household budget to her Mary Kay activities. That she has the $100 or so in the previously joint account to get by until her next sales happen.
Expect the hissy fit to end all hissy fits … she is an ADDICT and you just flushed her drug down the drain.
And this is important …
https://www.savingadvice.com/articles/2025/09/26/10166618_the-silent-rule-that-lets-creditors-come-after-your-spouses-assets.html
Lazy, thank you for putting together such a comprehensive Safety Plan. Finances encompass so many different arenas these days and having someone put them all in one place is an incredibly thoughtful action. This benefits me personally now, just seeing it all laid out, and I know I will be able to help others with this as situations occur. xoxoxoxoxoxo
I wouldn’t give away my house to save her from the first of many bankruptcies. Just say, “No!” to refinancing, 2nd mortgages, etc. Sorry Bro.