A Family’s Finances Destroyed by Mary Kay
We have had a number of husbands of Mary Kay consultants and directors participate in the discussion here after being deceived by their wives. There has been financial damage, as well as emotional damage. Here is another.
My wife has been in Mary Kay for 4 years. In that time she has lost over $30,000. I had to remortgage the house to keep her from going bankrupt, but still she’s back at it. Her credit is going to max again in the next few months. This time I will lose the house. I have a good job, but she’s losing it faster than I can make it.
Every MK event I went to was the same, the few husbands that went were all safely muzzled. We all talked about things unrelated till our wives where out of earshot.
Then we’d ask the question, so how are things going for your wife? Then comes the pre-programmed response “she’s holding lots of classes” or “She’s on track for emerald” or “she’s really growing as a person.”
But in that brief moment of eye contact we all know we are liars, in that moment of truth we can all read between the lines. What we really said was “she’s not selling anything” or “she’s buying her way to the top” or “she’s warm stalking everyone we know or meet.”
After that we are pretty quiet, basking in the shared misery and shame of our lies and loss. We tend to not go very often. We collectively despise ourselves.
None of us are in the fog, but we are completely unable to help the one who sleeps beside us even see that there is a fog.
Visit the
Ugh, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Please try to get some financial counseling for yourself to see what steps you can take to protect your own credit (and any minor children) so she can’t apply for cards or loans in your name. Try to divert some money into an account in your name only so you have something to fall back on.
And damn MLM to hell and back for selling dreams and delivering nightmares instead 🤬
What are the statistics of divorce in Mary Kay or any MLM for that matter? There must be a lot. Consultants are trained to stay away from negativity, that includes husbands who question their spending. This man’s story is not a one off. What a sad situation. I hope he can somehow salvage not losing his home. I also believe these men need to speak up. I know they must love their wives and don’t want to risk hurting their feelings or losing them but until one or all of them start telling the truth things will never change. Husbands who perpetuate the lie further proves that MLM is a failed industry.
Sadly, there is little that can be done for folks in the fog. For some reason when I was on my late 20s and my 30s, I was targeted by MLMers all the time. I tried using my nerdly business workflow analysis and systems modeling skills to show these folks the dangers and futility of their MLM. All of my data and numbers came directly from the MLM in question, and showed in plain, simple numbers what would be required of the rep to achieve their financial goals. These very real numbers appeared almost comical…which may be why they could not accept them.
Alas, they all pegged me as being under some sort of demonic or other “un-American” influence. One guy, a Quixtar rep, looked deep into my eyes, with near tears welling up in his, and said, “You poor man. I will pray for you.” He was seriously more worried about me than his own financial ruin. He was convinced I was the crazy one!
I created forecasting models for lots of MLMs over the years, but I was never able to convince a single rep, in the moment, of the dangers that lie ahead. The Quixtar guy actually reached out to me 5 years later and admitted I was right after all. He was the only one after decades of effort on my part.
This level of loyalty demonstrates just how cult-like these MLMs really are. No amount of hard data will sway them. Arguing with an MLMer can’t work. Shedding light on the unhealthy patterns, over and over, creates a chink in the armor. This is why I think PT has been able to help so many find their way out of the fog. Slow, steady reminders of the sick MLM underbelly eventually resonates with the lived experiences of the participants, and they start to recognize the patterns.
A die hard MLMer has to decide for themselves to get out. No one can convince them from the outside. The biggest tool a loving husband may have is to limit access to money. And even that can lead to relationship trouble, for which he will be pegged as the bad guy. An accurate business ledger, introduced properly, may be the only best hope. Let the ledger be the bad guy!
I feel for the spouses of folks who get sucked into MLM. There is no easy way out.